If you ask how I am doing I shall, invariably respond with the phrase “Livin’ the dream!”
I am a carpenter joiner running a construction and woodworking company specialising in historic joinery repair and solving other people’s mistakes and problems.
I have a fantastic wife and two step sons aged 18 and 20.
I saw some random video on Facebook about three years ago that listed a selection of urology symptoms related to prostate cancer. I ticked all of the boxes. Visited my GP, asked the question and was told I was realistically, too young. One DRE and PSA test later I was on the top threshold. Test repeated after 3 and 6 months and still on that threshold. The PSA threshold increased nationally and I reached that too. Then after over three years of PSA tests it jumped a little more to 2.6. Low but increasing, so I asked the question again.
The consultant spoke with me before approving an MRI and despite a full quota of symptoms that were worsening slightly, he relayed to me that I was ‘too young’ in all likelihood but MRI was booked. Nothing heard for nearly three weeks so I was content no news is good news. Until the withheld number called to book a pre-surgical assessment at 0900hrs one Monday morning. They wanted me in the next day! I politely asked to defer for a fortnight in order to complete a project before Christmas. Pre-Op Xmas eve and grid biopsy Monday 30th December.
Surgery went fine and I was feeling good the following day. Come New Year’s Day, not so great. Admitted to A&E with sepsis and nothing was working for more than 30hrs I was in a Resus Room. Discharged a week later with two days before the expected results call from a withheld number. I knew the result at that moment. But what were the numbers?
My wife and I went together and laughed a lot in the waiting area. We both knew the result and were just ready to discover if we had choices.
PSA 2.6. Gleason 3+4 T2c
the consultant admitted being more nervous than normal and was dreading this consult because I am 44yrs old. Different topics were discussed candidly and we were introduced to one of the MacMillan nurses in the SRN team.
We all went our separate ways, me with a big folder of stuff, my wife to lunch with freinds. As planned, we both met up later on at home and took about ten minutes to discuss pros and cons and confirm our action plan.
12 months for me to get much fitter and completely change my diet and lifestyle, as well as ensuring financial security ( or the best chance of it) to see us through the ‘mag to grid - get rid’ approach. This time next year I will have had enough of the quarterly PSA roulette wheel and we will be ready for prostatectomy and the recovery cycle to follow.
These decisions were easy, though not ignorant to the associated consequences and risks. I know we will need emotional support between now and then too. The hardest part was telling freinds and family, for which I had my wife running on point for that. This diagnosis isn’t great but it was the best we could have asked for in the circumstances. I am almost finding myself telling the blokes around me to get tested and not avoid it.
Today We are strong, tomorrow perhaps we won’t be as strong. But if you ask me. I’m livin the dream! ( even if it isn’t my dream)
As time continues, you will learn I am not that great at emotional support, my intent is there, my execution is questionable. My attitude is pragmatic and determined to achieve what everyone else says can’t be done in my weird little corner of life.