I'm interested in conversations about and I want to talk about
Know exactly what you want?
Show search

Notification

Error

Hubby has just been diagnosed

Email this conversation Print this conversation
User
Posted 13 Feb 2025 at 20:07

On Monday Hubby & I went for his biopsy results and it showed he has prostrate cancer, it seems it's spread outside the prostrate and in his lymph nodes, 17 samples were taken and 13 showed cancer and his Gleason score is 9, his PSA is 24. He's just starting HT, I'm looking at all sorts of supplements a GP friend has said might help boost his immune system,  whilst the consultant said "we are not talking weeks or months, but years" it still worries me and  I'm so scared and trying my best to keep positive for both of us. He is really positive and says it is what it is and we'll be ok. I think he's more worried about the side effects of the HT just now.

We are just waiting on the results of a bone scan now. It's all just such a shock and a lot to take in.

I'm glad I found this site, so apologies now if I ask too may questions, I'm just trying to help & support him the best I can.

User
Posted 14 Feb 2025 at 09:34

Hi Chris,

sorry to hear the news, and sending my best wishes to you and your husband.  It is so scary when you've just had the diagnosis but the good news is, even with metastatic prostate cancer, the treatments available today are so much more advanced than they were 10, or even 5 years ago.  This is why your consultant is able to say that you're looking at years, not months.  

You mentioned looking at supplements etc that can help:  it's definitely a good idea to eat healthily and exercise:  if you're both relatively fit and active then that's a big help.  However, if I could share something that my consultant told me when I was diagnosed back in 2019:  I asked similar questions about diet and lifestyle, and he said to try and have good eating and exercise habits.  But, he added:  "Don't make your life all about the cancer.  Remember to do things you enjoy, too."  Over the years, I've found that advice to be very wise.

All the best, and do keep us posted about your husband's treatment. 

Craig

 

User
Posted 14 Feb 2025 at 21:17

Hi Chris,

Your hubby is so lucky to have you by his side…it’s amazing the number of wives/partners on this site to support their beloved. We men find it difficult sometimes to talk about their health  problems, even more so when it’s ’down below’ so it’s good when women like you can do it for them😊 I was like that until my wife dragged my along to Maggies 6 months enter I wa diagnosed and it transformed the way I deal with my PCa. I was a member on here for months and months but didn’t post, I only became brave enough after my first visit to the Men’s Cancer Support Group. I go most weeks and was there today helping support other men going through the same as me…we had 2 men join the group 3 weeks ago and they were really struggling. Today they were completely different people and able to openly discuss their journey and how they were coping mentally.Everyone always comes away feeling so much better than when they go in.

i won’t kid you that a bumpy ride is not ahead of you, but I would say that if your  hubbies care and treatment path is as good as mine, he has a good future ahead of him. There’s  no doubt that this is the worst part of the journey, lots of waiting around for tests and not knowing what the future holds, but once a treatment plan is in place you both should feel more at ease. tell hubby to just wait and see what side effects the HT brings, I know men through Maggies who have little or no side effects, others like me are not so lucky. But it hasn’t stopped me having fun…well as much fun as my treatment has allowed me to. I think that is so important in getting through this journey for both of you, do lots of nice things together, even simple things like going out for a coffee and spending time talking to each other. it real has helped me doing lots of nice things, being good to myself and family and having lots of treats.

So I wish you both all the best and we’re ALL here to help in anyway we can.

Derek

User
Posted 13 Feb 2025 at 20:07

On Monday Hubby & I went for his biopsy results and it showed he has prostrate cancer, it seems it's spread outside the prostrate and in his lymph nodes, 17 samples were taken and 13 showed cancer and his Gleason score is 9, his PSA is 24. He's just starting HT, I'm looking at all sorts of supplements a GP friend has said might help boost his immune system,  whilst the consultant said "we are not talking weeks or months, but years" it still worries me and  I'm so scared and trying my best to keep positive for both of us. He is really positive and says it is what it is and we'll be ok. I think he's more worried about the side effects of the HT just now.

We are just waiting on the results of a bone scan now. It's all just such a shock and a lot to take in.

I'm glad I found this site, so apologies now if I ask too may questions, I'm just trying to help & support him the best I can.

User
Posted 14 Feb 2025 at 07:00

Chris, welcome to the club nobody wants to join.Ask as many questions as you like, and there are no silly questions. There is a number at the top of the page for the sites prostate cancer nurses, I have found them invaluable over the years.How old is your husband.

Thanks chris

User
Posted 14 Feb 2025 at 16:48

Sorry you are here ,my husband Gary’s stats were almost identical. PSA 23 gleason4+5 spread to lymph nodes.He was 55 and I was 52 .

The worst part is waiting for the results,he had early chemo with HT then onto a trial . Things have moved on since his diagnosis 9+ yrs ago . He still works and we have a near normal life ,apart from sex life . We holiday often and enjoy life . His PSA has been undetectable for nearly 9 yrs . Take each day at a time and feel free to ask questions on this site .There’s a whole lot of experience here .

best wishes 

Debby 

Edited by member 14 Feb 2025 at 16:54  | Reason: Not specified

Show Most Thanked Posts
User
Posted 14 Feb 2025 at 07:00

Chris, welcome to the club nobody wants to join.Ask as many questions as you like, and there are no silly questions. There is a number at the top of the page for the sites prostate cancer nurses, I have found them invaluable over the years.How old is your husband.

Thanks chris

User
Posted 14 Feb 2025 at 09:34

Hi Chris,

sorry to hear the news, and sending my best wishes to you and your husband.  It is so scary when you've just had the diagnosis but the good news is, even with metastatic prostate cancer, the treatments available today are so much more advanced than they were 10, or even 5 years ago.  This is why your consultant is able to say that you're looking at years, not months.  

You mentioned looking at supplements etc that can help:  it's definitely a good idea to eat healthily and exercise:  if you're both relatively fit and active then that's a big help.  However, if I could share something that my consultant told me when I was diagnosed back in 2019:  I asked similar questions about diet and lifestyle, and he said to try and have good eating and exercise habits.  But, he added:  "Don't make your life all about the cancer.  Remember to do things you enjoy, too."  Over the years, I've found that advice to be very wise.

All the best, and do keep us posted about your husband's treatment. 

Craig

 

User
Posted 14 Feb 2025 at 16:48

Sorry you are here ,my husband Gary’s stats were almost identical. PSA 23 gleason4+5 spread to lymph nodes.He was 55 and I was 52 .

The worst part is waiting for the results,he had early chemo with HT then onto a trial . Things have moved on since his diagnosis 9+ yrs ago . He still works and we have a near normal life ,apart from sex life . We holiday often and enjoy life . His PSA has been undetectable for nearly 9 yrs . Take each day at a time and feel free to ask questions on this site .There’s a whole lot of experience here .

best wishes 

Debby 

Edited by member 14 Feb 2025 at 16:54  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 14 Feb 2025 at 19:01
Thank you everyone, hubby is 70 this year, but we are resigned to keep positive and live life to the fullest a best we can, its nice to know your not alone.

Keep safe

Chris.

User
Posted 14 Feb 2025 at 21:17

Hi Chris,

Your hubby is so lucky to have you by his side…it’s amazing the number of wives/partners on this site to support their beloved. We men find it difficult sometimes to talk about their health  problems, even more so when it’s ’down below’ so it’s good when women like you can do it for them😊 I was like that until my wife dragged my along to Maggies 6 months enter I wa diagnosed and it transformed the way I deal with my PCa. I was a member on here for months and months but didn’t post, I only became brave enough after my first visit to the Men’s Cancer Support Group. I go most weeks and was there today helping support other men going through the same as me…we had 2 men join the group 3 weeks ago and they were really struggling. Today they were completely different people and able to openly discuss their journey and how they were coping mentally.Everyone always comes away feeling so much better than when they go in.

i won’t kid you that a bumpy ride is not ahead of you, but I would say that if your  hubbies care and treatment path is as good as mine, he has a good future ahead of him. There’s  no doubt that this is the worst part of the journey, lots of waiting around for tests and not knowing what the future holds, but once a treatment plan is in place you both should feel more at ease. tell hubby to just wait and see what side effects the HT brings, I know men through Maggies who have little or no side effects, others like me are not so lucky. But it hasn’t stopped me having fun…well as much fun as my treatment has allowed me to. I think that is so important in getting through this journey for both of you, do lots of nice things together, even simple things like going out for a coffee and spending time talking to each other. it real has helped me doing lots of nice things, being good to myself and family and having lots of treats.

So I wish you both all the best and we’re ALL here to help in anyway we can.

Derek

User
Posted 22 Feb 2025 at 16:22

So we've been to see the oncologist who will be treating hubby, he's advised that pending the bone scan report, if there is no sign of the cancer spreading to the bones he can treat him with Abiraterone but it will come at a cost, ££850 per month. In the meantime he's now on HT and will be having high dose radiotherapy once his prostrate has shrunk a little.

So fingers crossed it's not spread, and then its a no brainer, no question that we will pay.

Just wanted to find out more and wondered if anyone else had this treatment?

Edited by member 22 Feb 2025 at 16:24  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 22 Feb 2025 at 17:08

Why do you have to pay for the treatment? Do you live outside the UK? Is this drug not provided by the NHS?

 
Forum Jump  
Email this conversation Print this conversation

Join the online community now.

Click through to become a member and gain access to support, information and real time replies.




MenuTop ▲
©2025 Prostate Cancer UK