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Degrees of weirdness

User
Posted 16 Feb 2025 at 18:40

Hello everyone that frequents this place. I assume that the vast majority of peeps here are here for the same reason. It’s a bit like joining the EFDSS! (You’ll have to look it up)!

 

I'm posting this because I don’t know how I should feel about my diagnosis. I’ve been advised by the oncologist that I have an optimistic forecast of 5-6 years after chemo etc. 

I keep thinking that I should be devastated and blown away by this death sentence but I’m not. 

If anything I feel liberated and immediately and totally at peace with this verdict. Is there anyone else out there that has these feelings or am I some deranged idiot? I feel as if I’m pretending and denying but I’m not. I’m happy with it as a part of life. However, I do feel like a bit of a fraud for not beating my bared chest over it. 

Any thoughts would be useful. Ta! 

User
Posted 16 Feb 2025 at 21:41

Marin

what a great positive attitude to have .

I am not sure how I would react if I was given that news ,I hope that I would react as you have.

We all need to focus on making the best of whatever time we have.

Wishing you all the best

John

 

User
Posted 16 Feb 2025 at 22:04

Hi Marin,

Good on you, with that attitude hopefully you will be here for a lot longer than the ‘death sentence’

Coming to terms with this disease is NOT easy,  so if you’ve done that then just get on the with the rest of your life and have as much fun as possible!

I wish you all the best for the future.

Derek

User
Posted 17 Feb 2025 at 04:48
I guess being told we had 5-6 years would produce different reactions with younger men being more upset. When you get to your eighties you know that you only have a comparatively few years left regardless of whether you have PCa, so are more likely to take it in your stride and think about it less. I was diagnosed back in 2007 and did my very best to get what I judged was the best treatment for me. When my primary treatment failed I was naturally downcast but looked for further treatment and yet further treatment when that failed. With the exception of the treatment leading to ED, I have not let PCa affect the way I spend my life and by and large have been able to do this albeit with time spent on check up MRI's and blood tests and of course the time spent having treatment and recovery. I don't think PCa has changed me as a person or my goals in life. I look at PCa like any other problem I encounter, do what I can to address it and if there is nothing that can be done just accept it, carry on and adddress the next problem that comes along. Of cousre some have advanced cancer and it must be an unavoidable and constant concern. Like much else in life it's the luck of the draw, so make the most of the hand you are dealt.
Barry
User
Posted 17 Feb 2025 at 07:28

Hi Martin.

I'm sorry to hear that you are deemed incurable, mate; but welcome to the forum.

I did think it a bit weird that that you'd taken the news so well. However, I then read your bio and saw that at times you feel in the very depths. These up and down feelings do resonate with me and I'm sure with many others on this site. 

There are days where I barely think of cancer but there are others when, no matter how hard I try, I can't get it out of my mind. I agree with those who've described dealing with the disease as being on an emotional roller coaster.

PS. I also see that you've called your prostate cancer Adrian. Did you name it after me? 🙂

Your comparison of our club to the English Folk Dance and Song Society does seem apt. My wife is always accusing me of making too much of a song and dance over my diagnosis. 🙂

 

Edited by member 17 Feb 2025 at 07:41  | Reason: Additional text

User
Posted 17 Feb 2025 at 12:03

Hi and welcome to the club no-one wants to be in.

I totally get where you're coming from.  I was diagnosed when I was 54, and given 3 to 5 years.  That was 6 years ago.  I am now running out of treatment options and I'm under no illusions:  at best, I may have another 12 to 18 months. 

But it doesn't get me down:   I have my family and my hobbies, and I enjoy life.  I realise I'm very lucky that I don't currently have any real symptoms or pain, and as long as that continues I'll carry on enjoying life, with the cancer being an inconvenience.

I look at it like this:  in the original cinema release of Blade Runner, Harrison Ford's voiceover says at the end:  "We didn't know how long we'd have together.  Who does?"  We cannot see or predict the future, all we have is today.  

Wishing you all the very best, and keep on keeping on!

Craig

 

 
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