Supporting husband with metastatic prostate cancer

User

Posted 21 Feb 2025 at 14:07

Hi all, my husband has metastatic prostate cancer. Is there a partners page here some where for partners to share our experience and get support from each other? I feel very lonely and anxious at times especially when he has side effects of the chemo and doesn't want to call the specialist nurses for advice because he doesn't want to bother them. Many thanks Rose

User

Posted 21 Feb 2025 at 14:57

Hi Rose

I'm sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis. I'm not sure if there is a separate page/thread for partners, but there are certainly plenty on here who post regularly. I am sure you will hear from some of them in due course. In the meantime, if there are any questions you want to ask, please fire away. The level of support on this site is fantastic.

All the best.

Ian.

User

Posted 21 Feb 2025 at 15:08

Hi Rose,

This link maybe useful to you.

https://tackleprostate.org/support-groups/national-prostate-cancer-partners-support-group/

One of our local hospitals had regular meetings for partners of those with prostate cancer. It may be worth checking to see if similar exists in your area.

There are many wives and partners on here who I'm sure will offer you support.

Good luck to you both.

User

Posted 21 Feb 2025 at 15:29

Thanks very much. Currently, he has back pain and the booklet we received from our hospital states we should inform the oncology nurses if it gets worse. My husband thinks I am nagging and he says his back pain is nothing unusual. However, I disagree, it seems worse than before. And also i am finding it hard to concentrate on work when he is unwell!

User

Posted 21 Feb 2025 at 18:17

Hi Rose,

Sorry to hear about your husband, but how lucky he is to have a wife like yourself at his side. It seems that a lot of men don’t want to seek support, but support is there for wives as well. You could call the Specialist nurses on here. Or if you have a Maggies Centre near you pop in and see them, they are there for wives/partners as well and may have a support group specifically for this.

I wish you both well on this journey…I know how hard it is…do lots of nice things together and be good to yourselves. It’s doesn’t stop you worrying but helps you through it.

All the best,

Derek

User

Posted 21 Feb 2025 at 19:05

Hi Rose ,another wife here . I was 52 and Gary was 55 at diagnosis,like your husband he had early chemo (6 sessions) with 4+5 diagnosis . It’s hard ! Luckily Gary seemed to do well on chemo but would often complain of aches and pains ,especially it seemed to target old wound's.Either you or he should speak to his team ,I’m sure someone will be there to listen . I think Gary was given strong painkillers to ease it .
Keep strong ,we are over 9 years into our journey and still here .
Lots of advice on this site ,the members are amazing.
Best wishes
Debby .

Edited by member 21 Feb 2025 at 19:09 | Reason: Not specified

User

Posted 21 Feb 2025 at 21:20

Rose, back ache with metastatic spread is a concern to many of us. The usual advice is get some medical attention without delay.

Do you have a urology ward you could call tonight or in the morning.

It might help to know some history of his diagnosis ,treatment and PSA levels etc.

Thanks Chris

User

Posted 21 Feb 2025 at 21:36

Thanks Derek, I feel so much better already posting here and with the replies I feel less alone. I think when I’m in my darkest days I forget doing nice things is important. We love walking and we are being careful to keep social distance so I’ll plan more of this with friends. (We caught covid and chemo was delayed so being more careful now). We enjoy watching movies on our new large TV. What other ideas does anything have for doing nice things together at the weekends please? Many thanks Rose

Edited by member 21 Feb 2025 at 21:37 | Reason: Wrong name spelling

User

Posted 21 Feb 2025 at 22:31

Hi Chris, thanks for your reply. I will insist on calling in the morning if his back pain is not better. Brief history is

My husband is now 58.
Feb 2021 PSA was 19.1 and Gleason 3+4. (2018 PSA was 2.6). Zoladex hormone therapy and radiotherapy was recommended. (Not surgery as spread to local nymph node). PSA was under 0.1 until Aug 2024.
Aug 24 PSA rose to 3.3.
Sept 24 PSA was 7.4.
Sept 24 Pet scan detected metastasis left posterior 8th rib and potentially left 6th rib. Started Degarelix injections Nov 24.
Started triplet therapy Jan 25 -degarelix, Docetaxcel and darolutamide chemotherapy. He is having 6 sessions of chemo every 3 weeks. Due to end beg of May. His PSA is back to 0.1.

Oncologist hopes this will prolong life for 5-10 years when maybe more chemo will be needed.
Thanks Rose

User

Posted 21 Feb 2025 at 22:48

Hi Debby

thanks for your message. That’s encouraging to hear. Is Gary on many meds and how is his quality of life. Best, Rose

User

Posted 22 Feb 2025 at 00:03

Rose,

apart from the cancer, how is your husband's health? It helps hugely to stay active and be as fit as is possible, even though this can be really hard to do when exercise is a drag and doesn't bring exactly spectacular results.

I spend a lot of time communing with nature in forests and National Parks though this might not be easily available to everyone.

Jules

User

Posted 22 Feb 2025 at 08:32

Hi Jules, thanks for your message, he was actually very well before starting chemo. He was overweight and still trying to shift same weight. We would go to the gym 3 times a week and walk most days. Since the chemo started, he has had a chest infection, developed small blood clots and now struggles to do much at the gym and feels faint after long walks. We will keep trying to do what we can. I like the idea of visiting national parks and forests. We live in North Somerset so easy access to this. But we are avoiding over night stays in hotels or holiday homes because we are trying to limit contact with others to prevent catching any infections that may delay chemo. Not sure if we are being too cautious? He caught Covid after second chemo but luckily he was negative before the next round so we didn’t need to delay 3rd round.

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