I'm interested in conversations about and I want to talk about
Know exactly what you want?
Show search

Notification

Error

Why am i not celebrating?.

Email this conversation Print this conversation
User
Posted 10 Mar 2025 at 18:49

Hi All,


Just under 2 weeks ago I had my robotic prostatectomy, since then I have recovered well. I am going on walks, eating and drinking well, I have just been getting on with things. 


Today, I had my catheter out, no issues going to the toilet so far which is great so why am I suddenly feeling anxious like I've just been re-diagnosed. 


I don't understand it. If anyone has experienced this or can offer me some 8nsight please let me know. 

User
Posted 10 Mar 2025 at 18:49

Hi All,


Just under 2 weeks ago I had my robotic prostatectomy, since then I have recovered well. I am going on walks, eating and drinking well, I have just been getting on with things. 


Today, I had my catheter out, no issues going to the toilet so far which is great so why am I suddenly feeling anxious like I've just been re-diagnosed. 


I don't understand it. If anyone has experienced this or can offer me some 8nsight please let me know. 

User
Posted 11 Mar 2025 at 09:26
Hi Ian

It’s a little like post traumatic stress; you get on this conveyor belt of tests, diagnosis, decisions, waiting, surgery, recovery….then when it’s all over and time to get off the conveyor belt, it’s scary stepping off and returning to a normal pace!

Acknowledging and understanding the mental trauma you’ve been through and taking time to do that is important.

Take care

Debbie
User
Posted 11 Mar 2025 at 10:45

Hi Ian,


I agree with everything the guys have said so far, I almost felt empty inside after my treatment was completed. The only other aspect I did notice when I started the recovery phase and didn't seem to have as much to focus on was the anger kicked.


All the resentment was beyond belief, the "why me", "WTF did I do to deserve this" etc. I was fortunate that at my local surgery there is a counsilor available who helped me get over that. Now my outlook is "s*** happened, lets be grateful I'm here to enjoy the future".

Dave

User
Posted 20 Apr 2025 at 18:00

Thank you all for your comments and guidance on this subject.



I have just shown the post thread to my OH as she could not understand why I was being so negative after my surgery on the 26th of March. Especially so as it appears to have gone as well as could be expected.  Also, why my feelings of anger towards the whole situation have increased post op. She now has a far better understanding (whilst at the same time saying the comments made explain more eloquently how I have been in trying to explain my feelings to her).  


User
Posted 20 Apr 2025 at 22:12

When you’re faced with your own mortality, all sorts of emotions come in to play. Shock, anxiety, anger, sadness and so on. When you’re undergoing all the tests and treatment, everything is full on and you may have not had time to come to terms with your diagnosis and emotions. And now that things have settled down and your hopefully cured it suddenly hits you what has happened..you had CNANCER!


Dont beat yourself up about your feelings, if you’re struggling seek support from Maggies or some other organisation where you can talk face to face with other men who have been through the same, understand how you’re feeling and can support you.


Be good to yourself, give yourself lots of treats and do lots of nice things that make you smile.


We’ve ALL been through it and understand how you’re feeling.


All the best,


Derek

User
Posted 21 Apr 2025 at 13:56
Perfectly normal, you just have the rest of your life to worry about now!
Show Most Thanked Posts
User
Posted 10 Mar 2025 at 22:32

I felt the same 14 years ago because everything had gone so well that I thought something is bound to go wrong! Yes there were a lot of bumps along the journey but I came through.

 'Physics is like sex: sure, it may give some practical results, but that’s not why we do it.'                    Richard Feynman (1918-1988) Nobel Prize laureate


 


 

User
Posted 11 Mar 2025 at 06:54

H


i think the resurfacing of your anxiety is because you have no immediate focus such as your surgery date, removal of catheter etc.  You are moving into your new normal, hopefully a cancer survivor but with that is uncertainty. Will life be the same again?


Be kind to yourself just as it takes time to recover from the physical trauma it takes time to recover from the emotional trauma you have experienced. Seek medical advice if the anxiety does not improve. Things may improve when you begin to resume normal activities.


 

Edited by member 11 Mar 2025 at 07:02  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 11 Mar 2025 at 09:26
Hi Ian

It’s a little like post traumatic stress; you get on this conveyor belt of tests, diagnosis, decisions, waiting, surgery, recovery….then when it’s all over and time to get off the conveyor belt, it’s scary stepping off and returning to a normal pace!

Acknowledging and understanding the mental trauma you’ve been through and taking time to do that is important.

Take care

Debbie
User
Posted 11 Mar 2025 at 10:10

Hi Ian.


Thanks for posting an update. It's great to hear that you're making a very good recovery but please be careful not to overdo things. You've been through major surgery and your body and mind will need time to recover.


Pratap is right for most of us it's a very bumpy journey and I understand exactly how you're feeling.


To me, IDK2 and DJC44 have summed up the situation perfectly. I certainly experienced exactly what they've described.


I'd just like to add that pre-op, although frightened and a bit bewildered, I still felt in control. I knew I had a problem and I had a say in how to deal with it.  Post-op, things are out of my hands. It's more a case of what will be, will be?


If you like to be in control, cancer will knock that out of you. 😁

Edited by member 11 Mar 2025 at 10:33  | Reason: Typo

User
Posted 11 Mar 2025 at 10:45

Hi Ian,


I agree with everything the guys have said so far, I almost felt empty inside after my treatment was completed. The only other aspect I did notice when I started the recovery phase and didn't seem to have as much to focus on was the anger kicked.


All the resentment was beyond belief, the "why me", "WTF did I do to deserve this" etc. I was fortunate that at my local surgery there is a counsilor available who helped me get over that. Now my outlook is "s*** happened, lets be grateful I'm here to enjoy the future".

Dave

User
Posted 11 Mar 2025 at 15:46

Hi Ian,


I was diagnosed at 46 last summer and had surgery at the end of September. What you’ve said resonates, whilst I almost felt elated the first weeks post surgery my anxiety definitely kicked back in and if I’m honest I’m not fully past this now even though I’ve had good test results. 


I got some help through MacMillan and one thing I learnt was it’s very common to feel this way post cancer treatment, especially if you felt relatively young and fit and didn’t have symptoms at diagnosis. It’s basically a feeling of safety being taken away and having gone through a traumatic experience it will take time to feel like yourself again. Looking back now I wasn’t helped by getting an oral cancer referral from the dentist leading up to surgery, turned out to be something benign called geographic tongue but it was added trauma at the time and I find myself on the look out for other things going wrong with my body!

Look after yourself, spend time with the people important to you and keep busy as your recovery allows and it will get better.

User
Posted 11 Mar 2025 at 16:36

What you are feeling is completely normal.


You get diagnosed which is characterised by shock then motivation as you prioritise this curve ball and seek the best treatment. Quickly you are on this conveyer belt of tests then treatment which monopolises your time and mental capacity then suddenly the treatment finishes and although you didn't want it you feel a bit bereft that all this attention has gone. 


Next stage is you get on with your life with (hopefully minimal side effects) and only PSA test anxiety every 3-6 months unless like some of us you have the misfortune of it coming back then it is all over again with RT.


As others have said be kind to yourself it is a traumatic journey and you need to give yourself the time to come to terms with it afterwards because during the treatment you are unlikely to have had the opportunity to rationalise it.

User
Posted 20 Apr 2025 at 18:00

Thank you all for your comments and guidance on this subject.



I have just shown the post thread to my OH as she could not understand why I was being so negative after my surgery on the 26th of March. Especially so as it appears to have gone as well as could be expected.  Also, why my feelings of anger towards the whole situation have increased post op. She now has a far better understanding (whilst at the same time saying the comments made explain more eloquently how I have been in trying to explain my feelings to her).  


User
Posted 20 Apr 2025 at 22:12

When you’re faced with your own mortality, all sorts of emotions come in to play. Shock, anxiety, anger, sadness and so on. When you’re undergoing all the tests and treatment, everything is full on and you may have not had time to come to terms with your diagnosis and emotions. And now that things have settled down and your hopefully cured it suddenly hits you what has happened..you had CNANCER!


Dont beat yourself up about your feelings, if you’re struggling seek support from Maggies or some other organisation where you can talk face to face with other men who have been through the same, understand how you’re feeling and can support you.


Be good to yourself, give yourself lots of treats and do lots of nice things that make you smile.


We’ve ALL been through it and understand how you’re feeling.


All the best,


Derek

User
Posted 21 Apr 2025 at 08:34

Thank you Decho. It is veryreassuring to know that. This is such a tough journey. We are going to try and get away for a few days to hopefully recharge the batteries. 

User
Posted 21 Apr 2025 at 13:56
Perfectly normal, you just have the rest of your life to worry about now!
 
Forum Jump  
Email this conversation Print this conversation

Join the online community now.

Click through to become a member and gain access to support, information and real time replies.




MenuTop ▲
©2025 Prostate Cancer UK