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Dating after prostatectomy

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User
Posted 16 Mar 2025 at 19:22

So I had my prostate removed on 14 February and in the grand scheme of things the recovery has gone well. My worst fear of incontinence has not been an issue (the surgeon was very confident in his abilities that he’d do enough for that not to be an issue) and I have been dry since the catheter was removed (I know how lucky I am).

I’m 42 and single and was wondering if anyone was in a similar situation after their operation and how long you waited to attempt to date?

Is it even worth it, as in my head I can’t see many women wanting to date a man with ED. I can’t feel something tingling down there but still flaccid. I know it can take months or years for that to come back if you’re lucky enough so was looking to see if any single men had any success stories post prostatectomy with dating

User
Posted 17 Mar 2025 at 23:39
I was 10 years older than you but went through a divorce after 34 years of marriage. I thought my world was over and I had been forcibly enrolled in a convent at 54.

Luckily I recovered from both traumas but not before I had dated several women while in my completely impotent state.

What did I learn? Chris's words are partially correct! Some women are as he describes, some most definitely are not!

My advice, work on the rehab, take the pills, get the injections and if all else fails get proficient with the vacuum device. Most important of all be honest about what you want and what you can offer, but do this from a position of confidence NOT weakness.

User
Posted 18 Mar 2025 at 07:01

I'm 20+ years older than you and married so can't offer any practical tips other than what's been posted above.

A touchy subject ran a series of blog posts on this topic which you can read here:

https://www.atouchysubject.com/dating-after-radical-prostatectomy

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User
Posted 17 Mar 2025 at 08:36

Hello mate.

I had surgery two years ago. I'm 26 years older than you and married, so I can't really help with any advice. Unfortunately I doubt that you'll get much response on here. There will be very few blokes as young as you on the forum and if there are they will probably be in relationships.

All I can say is, I hope that your ED issues can be resolved. If not I'm sure they'll be loads of ladies out there who don't class penile or any sort sex as a priority in a relationship. What concerns me more, is the possible detrimental effects it may have on own mental well being. About 6 months after my op I was refered to an ED clinic which helped me a lot I can get erections with Invicorp injections.

All I can do is wish you the best of luck mate.

User
Posted 17 Mar 2025 at 15:28
Hey buddy you’ve done your homework. Yes it can be aged for recovery but you need to make it happen yourself. Try the pills and injections. See if you can get daily 5mg Tadalafil. Use a vacuum pump every other day just to keep him healthy.

As for dating. Go for it !!! And as soon as things look bedroom-bound you just open up and tell it as it is. Women are the nicer of the species. If you can kiss and cuddle and use your hands and mouth then most won’t be missing an erect penis. Still LOADS of fun to be had. Just be honest 👍

User
Posted 17 Mar 2025 at 16:19

Thanks for the replies. I’ve been given 20mg Taladafil to take every Monday and Friday so hoping that will help heal the damaged nerves that were spared on my left side. I have appointment with surgeon in three weeks to discuss blood test results (here’s hoping the PSA is zero) and will ask about getting the pump then.

User
Posted 17 Mar 2025 at 23:39
I was 10 years older than you but went through a divorce after 34 years of marriage. I thought my world was over and I had been forcibly enrolled in a convent at 54.

Luckily I recovered from both traumas but not before I had dated several women while in my completely impotent state.

What did I learn? Chris's words are partially correct! Some women are as he describes, some most definitely are not!

My advice, work on the rehab, take the pills, get the injections and if all else fails get proficient with the vacuum device. Most important of all be honest about what you want and what you can offer, but do this from a position of confidence NOT weakness.

User
Posted 18 Mar 2025 at 07:01

I'm 20+ years older than you and married so can't offer any practical tips other than what's been posted above.

A touchy subject ran a series of blog posts on this topic which you can read here:

https://www.atouchysubject.com/dating-after-radical-prostatectomy

User
Posted 30 Apr 2025 at 19:40

I am about your age (41) and had my prostate removed at the beginning of February,  so almost 3 months ago!

I am married though! But still is my concern the ability to have sex. I am still young I think, as well as my wife, to stop having sex!

First do whatever your doctor suggests, or maybe take and second opinion! Then you will see how it comes out...maybe you will have your erection back and you will not have to worry about it!

 

User
Posted 02 May 2025 at 12:56

Mine was removed on 14 February so similar time frame to you. My appointment to discuss penis pump and sex life is in late June. Nurse just advised me to masturbate in the mean time. 

Still taking Tadalafil twice a week and have achieved a semi of a semi if that makes sense so I’ll take that as progress.

Going on the dating apps soon and will just mention I’ve had prostate cancer which should weed out those bothered by it

User
Posted 02 May 2025 at 14:51

The method my doctors are following are  a bit different!

I take Tadalafil 5mg every day.

I just finished 12 sessions of shockwave treatment and one session of PRP (Magellan method).

And now I just started to use the pump.

 

My opinion is go for the dates and see how it goes...besides that, even if you want to have sex before gaining  natural erections, you can use the injections!

User
Posted 07 May 2025 at 05:45

The question is how many ladies out there are aware of the adverse effects of prostate surgery on the sex life or even incontinence? I also feel the older mature ladies will be much more capable of looking for a wholesome relationship than younger ladies say 35 and below. You have to take things one step at a time, I am sure you would find the right person and connect, just put your condition to the back of your mind and take the first step. Prostate cancer will not define who you are. All the best.

User
Posted 07 May 2025 at 09:54
Sound advice Gee
User
Posted 14 May 2025 at 13:20
It’s completely understandable to feel uncertain. Many men successfully date post-prostatectomy by focusing on confidence, communication, and patience.
 
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