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Dad just diagnosed metastatic cancer

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User
Posted 26 Mar 2025 at 23:17

Hi everyone just looking for some advice or similar stories.

my dad was just diagnosed today with prostate cancer, unfortunately very aggressive it is in his lymph nodes and has two tumours on his spine one behind the chest and one lower down. 

he has a catheter as his only symptom was urine retention that he had for two weeks and since then it’s been full steam of tests to reach this diagnosis, he was told today it’s not curable but treatment is there to try prolong his life as long as possible and slow down the cancer. 

he has started hormones today for 4 weeks while we await an oncologist appointment to discuss next steps, obviously it feels like our world has been flipped upside down and still feeling very overwhelmed and in the deep end any advice or experience please do share cancer is a lonely place and without knowing anyone it feels like no one really understands 

thank you in advance 

User
Posted 27 Mar 2025 at 00:26

Sorry you are here. I am not in the same position as your dad (hopefully I'm cured). There are plenty of people who are in a similar position to your dad. The good news is that aggressive prostate cancer is not very aggressive compared to many other cancers. It also usually responds to treatment, in your dad's case hormone treatment, very well.

It is very difficult to know how long the hormone treatment will work for. The worse case scenario would be six months, but I would say that is about 5% of cases. Lasting between two and five years would be the case for about 85% of people and for about 10% of people it seems to carry on working possibly forever.

So though it isn't good to have a cancer diagnosis once he has started treatment he may not have any problems for years. The effects of hormone treatment, vary from person to person. I was on HT for two years, I did not find it too troublesome, some men on here have found it quite unpleasant. 

There are plenty of people on here in your father's position. I think you'll get some more posts soon.

Edited by member 27 Mar 2025 at 00:27  | Reason: Not specified

Dave

User
Posted 27 Mar 2025 at 01:46
Hi , hope I can give you a bit of comfort as my husband was diagnosed over 9 yrs ago at the age of 55 with high grade Gleason 4+5 spread to lymph nodes . He just had retention and no other symptoms so it was a shock . He went straight onto hormone injections and at that time chemo was recommended. Times and medications have moved on so he may be offered one of the newer treatments like abiraterone, and also radiation therapy.

Gary’s PSA reduced quite quickly once on his treatment path and has stayed undetectable since . Life will be different for him and the family,but you learn to cope with it . Gary’s still working and we go on lots of holidays.

Stay strong.

Best wishes

Debby.

User
Posted 27 Mar 2025 at 00:37

Hi Morgen,

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad's diagnosis. I know how dreadful you must be feeling. Do you mind telling us how old he is?

I'm afraid I know very little about stage 4 cancer and can't really help or advise you. However, there are several on here that have experience of that stage of the disease and they will undoubtedly help you.

You are not alone. There have been many daughters and sons on here with fathers who have a similar diagnosis to your dad's.

I lost my dad, 7 years after he'd been diagnosed with the disease. All I can do is offer you my support and send you and your dad huge hugs.

 

 

User
Posted 27 Mar 2025 at 11:05

Hi Morgen

I am in same position as your Dad Advance metastatic prostrate cancer which is widespread throughout bones and lymph nodes. The cancer is incurable and prognosis for myself is not great. My treatment is monthly Hormone injections Degarelix and daily enzalutimide tablets monthly blood tests show my PSA levels have fallen drastically so hopefully slowed spread of cancer down as well. Other treatments have not been considered as likely to cause more harm than good.

Dont know how old your father is but for my initial appointments I took my daughters and wife to appointments with urologist and my urology team as it can all be a bit overwhelming at first. Would advise to write down list of concerns questions about treatment before you attend which may help your Dad choose the right treatment path for himself.

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User
Posted 27 Mar 2025 at 00:26

Sorry you are here. I am not in the same position as your dad (hopefully I'm cured). There are plenty of people who are in a similar position to your dad. The good news is that aggressive prostate cancer is not very aggressive compared to many other cancers. It also usually responds to treatment, in your dad's case hormone treatment, very well.

It is very difficult to know how long the hormone treatment will work for. The worse case scenario would be six months, but I would say that is about 5% of cases. Lasting between two and five years would be the case for about 85% of people and for about 10% of people it seems to carry on working possibly forever.

So though it isn't good to have a cancer diagnosis once he has started treatment he may not have any problems for years. The effects of hormone treatment, vary from person to person. I was on HT for two years, I did not find it too troublesome, some men on here have found it quite unpleasant. 

There are plenty of people on here in your father's position. I think you'll get some more posts soon.

Edited by member 27 Mar 2025 at 00:27  | Reason: Not specified

Dave

User
Posted 27 Mar 2025 at 00:37

Hi Morgen,

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad's diagnosis. I know how dreadful you must be feeling. Do you mind telling us how old he is?

I'm afraid I know very little about stage 4 cancer and can't really help or advise you. However, there are several on here that have experience of that stage of the disease and they will undoubtedly help you.

You are not alone. There have been many daughters and sons on here with fathers who have a similar diagnosis to your dad's.

I lost my dad, 7 years after he'd been diagnosed with the disease. All I can do is offer you my support and send you and your dad huge hugs.

 

 

User
Posted 27 Mar 2025 at 01:46
Hi , hope I can give you a bit of comfort as my husband was diagnosed over 9 yrs ago at the age of 55 with high grade Gleason 4+5 spread to lymph nodes . He just had retention and no other symptoms so it was a shock . He went straight onto hormone injections and at that time chemo was recommended. Times and medications have moved on so he may be offered one of the newer treatments like abiraterone, and also radiation therapy.

Gary’s PSA reduced quite quickly once on his treatment path and has stayed undetectable since . Life will be different for him and the family,but you learn to cope with it . Gary’s still working and we go on lots of holidays.

Stay strong.

Best wishes

Debby.

User
Posted 27 Mar 2025 at 11:05

Hi Morgen

I am in same position as your Dad Advance metastatic prostrate cancer which is widespread throughout bones and lymph nodes. The cancer is incurable and prognosis for myself is not great. My treatment is monthly Hormone injections Degarelix and daily enzalutimide tablets monthly blood tests show my PSA levels have fallen drastically so hopefully slowed spread of cancer down as well. Other treatments have not been considered as likely to cause more harm than good.

Dont know how old your father is but for my initial appointments I took my daughters and wife to appointments with urologist and my urology team as it can all be a bit overwhelming at first. Would advise to write down list of concerns questions about treatment before you attend which may help your Dad choose the right treatment path for himself.

User
Posted 27 Mar 2025 at 12:53

Thank you all so much for your replies already, my dad is 63 this year.

hes a power house only ever had 4 days off work sick his whole life and obviously wants to continue working. 

im a nurse myself so I have some awareness of things but obviously when it comes to family it’s harder to be more rational I’m hoping he will allow me to attend his oncology appt and most definitely will get him to write things down next time. 

he’s started the tablets and is due an injection on Monday I’m not sure what he’s been prescribed until I see him Sunday and then I can read through his results as to what the biopsy showed. 

Thank you all so much again I really appreciate being able to talk about it to people going through the same and similar experiences 

User
Posted 28 Mar 2025 at 13:22

Hi Morgen, 

sorry that you and your dad are going through this.  The good news is, your dad is relatively young at 63, and it sounds like he's fit and active.  These are both positive things.

I was diagnosed with advanced, inoperable Stage IV PC back in 2019.  I've had hormone therapy, 2 rounds of chemo (first in 2019, then again in late '24) and radiotherapy.  I was given a prognosis of 3 to 5 years when I was diagnosed:  six years later, I'm still here and enjoying life. 

It isn't always easy, there will be ups and downs, but today's treatments are more advanced than they were even 5 years ago, so hopefully there's every chance your dad can continue to have a good quality of life even if he can't be 'cured.' 

All the best, Craig

 
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