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Struggling with recent Diagnosis

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User
Posted 06 Jun 2025 at 15:05

Hi I am 56 and last week was diagnosed with prostate caner 

I had a private PSA test which was 3.9 then a test from my GP 4.1 then a further test at the hospital 3.9.

Exam then MRI then biopsys found cell in 1 of 14 samples Gleason Score 3+4 = 7 ( 2 )

Still not 100% what all that means told its contained in prostate and advised to go on AS.

I am all over the place at the moment thought of not doing anything seems wrong but then they say lucky to have caught it early. I worry about the smallest things and think I am going to struggle mentally. Any advise for support or where to look would be appreciated not good on opening up which i know isnt good either. Only known for sure for a week i just cant believe how emotional I have become. Only told Kids and the people at work that need to know ... I cant even come to talk about it out loud. I booked for a support call but then couldnt take the call even thought I wanted the help and advice.

I know i am certainly not the only person with these issues and am in a much better position than some people I just need pointing inn the right direction for firstly support then practical advise would be good also.

Thanks for reading and any help would be greatly appreciated.

Phil

 

 

 

User
Posted 13 Jul 2025 at 07:09

Hi Phil,

The first thing to say is don’t beat yourself up about the way you feel, hearing  the word Cancer is indeed very scary but your prognosis is very good, and all the treatment options for you should be open to you. And it may well be that AS is the right choice given your low levels of the disease.  Trust me, it does get easier and once you have a treatment plan in place you WILL feel better and be able to just get on with your life. Console yourself that it’s been caught early, unlike myself who stupidly didn’t want to bother my GP during COVID and as a result didn’t have the options open to you.

IF you’re struggling mentally….DONT! Seek out support. You say you don’t want to talk about it, but you’ve made the first VERY important step by joining this fantastic Community. Even posting on here for the first time is VERY scary, but just look at the support you’ve had, and you know why that is? Because your talking to people who know EXACTLY what you’re going through….so well done 👍 
Other things I would suggest….
1. Find out if you have a Maggies Centre near you, and if so you and your wife drop in to talk to them(you don’t need an appointment).
2. Give the Specialist nurses on here a call..they are amazing.
3. If you’re really struggling(like I was after starting HT) go and see your GP. I was prescribed sertraline which has kept me on an even keel throughout.
4. Keep yourself busy, active and fit, it really does help.
5 Do lots of nice things with your family and be kind to yourself…give yourself lots off of treats.

So, yes you’ve got Cancer but life goes on, I’ve been through it all with a much worse level of disease than you, yet here I am in Lyon ready to board my River Cruise Ship for a cruise down through the south of France.

All the best,

Derek

 

User
Posted 07 Jun 2025 at 16:49

Hi Phil

Welcome, you'll find the forum a great place for support. I'm 10 years older than you and was also diagnosed G3+4 (T2b) in January and told AS but all other options up to me. I was actually quite calm through the diagnosis journey as my Dad had PCa and made it to 91 so I kind of knew it was coming but when I actually had to tell the kids the emotions took over and saying the 'C' word isn't easy. The first thing though is DONT PANIC the words 'contained in the prostate' mean a great deal and you've got time to think about what to do next. Talk to as many people as you can and research, research, research for yourself because the specialists will likely tell you that AS is a good call for you but if you want treatment they can potentially cure you. I found ChatGPT amazingly helpful and whilst there's the caveat that it's not always 100% accurate it sent me on further research which ultimately gave me the information I needed to decide what to do.

Good luck on the journey, you're with good company!

Edited by member 15 Jul 2025 at 18:40  | Reason: Not specified

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User
Posted 06 Jun 2025 at 16:44

Hi Phil,

Sorry you’ve joined the club no one wants to join. I would say at the start it’s Extremely scary, due to all the certainty around it. I know how scared I was with a young family and young kids, and it was hard for me to tell them too. For me it got much easier over the next few weeks as you learn more. Especially once my treatment was confirmed.There are many places to go and talk about this and personally I would advise this. I wish I’d used maggies ( in Manchester but there will be similar ) and the cancer nurses are usually amazing. So is this forum with many more experienced people than I. Keeping it all in ( my trait) really doesn’t help and found it made it harder trying to keep it all in. One I told everyone that was a relief but we are all different.

Looking at your diagnosis I would take the positives, low PSA, low Gleason, I assume low stage 2, only 1 core positive are all positives in your favour. I really wish you well and the best of luck on the journey. You’ve got this 👍.

Stuart

 

Edited by member 06 Jun 2025 at 16:47  | Reason: Additional info

User
Posted 07 Jun 2025 at 11:38

Hi Phil,

the initial diagnosis can be a real blow because all one can see is the big 'C' word, but as Stuart points out, there are some strong positives with your diagnosis.  You're much younger than the average, and the cancer seems localised, which means you have a lot of treatment options available to you.  

I would suggest having a good chat with your oncology consultant first about the options available to you, then ask for referral to MacMillan cancer support who can help with the support and advice you need.    

All the best,

Craig

User
Posted 07 Jun 2025 at 16:49

Hi Phil

Welcome, you'll find the forum a great place for support. I'm 10 years older than you and was also diagnosed G3+4 (T2b) in January and told AS but all other options up to me. I was actually quite calm through the diagnosis journey as my Dad had PCa and made it to 91 so I kind of knew it was coming but when I actually had to tell the kids the emotions took over and saying the 'C' word isn't easy. The first thing though is DONT PANIC the words 'contained in the prostate' mean a great deal and you've got time to think about what to do next. Talk to as many people as you can and research, research, research for yourself because the specialists will likely tell you that AS is a good call for you but if you want treatment they can potentially cure you. I found ChatGPT amazingly helpful and whilst there's the caveat that it's not always 100% accurate it sent me on further research which ultimately gave me the information I needed to decide what to do.

Good luck on the journey, you're with good company!

Edited by member 15 Jul 2025 at 18:40  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 10 Jul 2025 at 17:56

Hi Phil,

Loads of good advice and perspective in the replies already. 

Hold onto the positives, keep yourself well physically, set yourself some targets for the future and reach out for help when you feel you need it. (Apologies if that all sound really obvious).

I was diagnosed about a week ago - seems a whole lot longer - and it was a real knock. This forum is hugely useful resource.

Hope you find yourself in a good place soon,

Best wishes.

 

 

User
Posted 12 Jul 2025 at 10:57

Hi Phil

im also 56 and was diagnosed in March completely out of the blue , no symptoms etc, I’m also 3+4=7

Take your time mate to let it settle in , its a bombshell and takes a lot to get your head around….but remember it is treatable and you do have options which we are lucky to have even though it seems these options are what makes the process quite difficult as to which one to pick

i have done much back and forth considering AS, SABR , Focal Therapy or Surgery 

after speaking with many different specialists on these options I have opted for surgery, AS was my preferred option before but it had already started to play on my mind and after I had a recent MPMRI scan it showed that the tumour had moderately increased in size and PSA had gone up so for me decision on surgery was made and booked 

edit , just seen you posted this over a month ago, hope you have had time to let it settle in and consider options 

all the best

Nick

 

User
Posted 12 Jul 2025 at 12:27

Women seem far better informed about Brest Cancer than men about PCa and due to prevalence men should be educated about this as a matter of course. If men learnt about PCa and it's treatment at an early age, they wouldbe better prepared and it would come as less of a shock when they are diagnosed. Also, there would be a better chance of treating it early whiilst more likely hood of better outcomes. Having said that the medical Profession believes some men rush to treatment too early and get what the term overtreatment because some PCa does not advance in men or does so slowly. In such cases men can sometimes just be monitored, at least for a time, thereby putting off potential adverse side effects of treatment.

You really need to know all the Pros and Cons of your individual case and discuss with your Consultants.

This is a link to one of a number of videos concerning Prostate Cancer and I recommend you take your time and visit all from this source https://www.uclh.nhs.uk/our-services/find-service/cancer-services/prostate-cancer-1/prostate-cancer-videos

 

Barry
User
Posted 12 Jul 2025 at 12:58

Hi Phil,

I found an excellent video produced by the cancer alliance to some London hospitals. It covers Gleason scores, cancer staging, all treatment options including their pros and cons.

https://youtu.be/zYTU94-8pTc?si=1Z29_l8rbTwF6DHl

I hope it helps.

User
Posted 13 Jul 2025 at 07:09

Hi Phil,

The first thing to say is don’t beat yourself up about the way you feel, hearing  the word Cancer is indeed very scary but your prognosis is very good, and all the treatment options for you should be open to you. And it may well be that AS is the right choice given your low levels of the disease.  Trust me, it does get easier and once you have a treatment plan in place you WILL feel better and be able to just get on with your life. Console yourself that it’s been caught early, unlike myself who stupidly didn’t want to bother my GP during COVID and as a result didn’t have the options open to you.

IF you’re struggling mentally….DONT! Seek out support. You say you don’t want to talk about it, but you’ve made the first VERY important step by joining this fantastic Community. Even posting on here for the first time is VERY scary, but just look at the support you’ve had, and you know why that is? Because your talking to people who know EXACTLY what you’re going through….so well done 👍 
Other things I would suggest….
1. Find out if you have a Maggies Centre near you, and if so you and your wife drop in to talk to them(you don’t need an appointment).
2. Give the Specialist nurses on here a call..they are amazing.
3. If you’re really struggling(like I was after starting HT) go and see your GP. I was prescribed sertraline which has kept me on an even keel throughout.
4. Keep yourself busy, active and fit, it really does help.
5 Do lots of nice things with your family and be kind to yourself…give yourself lots off of treats.

So, yes you’ve got Cancer but life goes on, I’ve been through it all with a much worse level of disease than you, yet here I am in Lyon ready to board my River Cruise Ship for a cruise down through the south of France.

All the best,

Derek

 

 
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