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Concerned about incontinence

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User
Posted 07 Jun 2025 at 15:04

Hello all, 

I'm new to the community but have seen there is plenty of encouraging words from many who have undergone surgery. My thoughts on my situation are mixed, I feel my diagnosis was a bit of a fluke as I only had a change in night time toilet going that prompted me to go and see my GP and here I am some 8 weeks later waiting for a date for surgery. My biggest fear isn’t the pain and discomfort that will be forthcoming but the thought of leaking while out and about. I have seen there’s plenty of pad options which are a bit mind boggling tbh but at least a lot of choices. 
Does anyone have any suggestions for a good pad to use and I’m also after some good mattress protection too. 
I met my surgeon yesterday and he was great and really thoughtful but honest about the leaking and how long to expect it to last which did shock me a bit as my nurse had told me a lot less than he did, but that’s fine I can live with it being a bit longer. 
I guess everyone will have different experiences depending on their age and general health, but any advice/suggestions or moral boosting anecdotes please shout.

cheers 

Flash

User
Posted 07 Jun 2025 at 16:39

Hi Flash

Welcome to the place no one wants to be. Apart from cancer spread the 2 things we all worry about are continence and erectile function and you'll have seen on the forum that the range of actual situations following surgery is vast. I massively overbought pads and mattress protectors despite posts on the forum saying 'don't go crazy buying'. Amazon is your friend, both are available next day so don't buy more than one box at a time! I stuck to using Tena pads just because I found the absorbency ratings easy to follow and was told to come in to the hospital with some Tena level 3 pads on catheter removal day. Your need for pads is determined by so many factors it's impossible for the layman to predict how you'll do but definitely do your pelvic floor exercises in the run up to surgery. Good luck and report back!

Cheers, Adam

User
Posted 07 Jun 2025 at 19:43

It isn't a foregone certainty that you'll have issues of significance.

I too expected the worst but was pleasantly surprised to find that I suffered only (infrequent) minor dribbles.

I'm using one pad per day at 8 weeks post op and can get through the night with no leakage at all.

However it works out for you, the key message is it's a situation that can be managed.

User
Posted 07 Jun 2025 at 21:40
Flash, no one knows quite how it will work out for you, some men regain continence very quickly but others have ongoing issues. In terms of pads the best are probably (unless your have them provided, it seems to depend on postcode) the ones you can buy easily. In my case they were the ones made by Tena which were in my local Tesco. I found own-brand significantly more bulky and unpleasant to wear.

And coming out of hospital you will probably want some of the incontinence underpants to ensure protection for the first few nights, though in my case (and that of many here) I became continent at night pretty quickly. Even after that you may want the insurance of protection in bed, some recomment "puppy pads" but I found disposable baby-changing pads ideal to put under the bedsheet.

Certainly in the early days you will find leaks depend on what you are doing. Sitting still is fine, walking around is more risky, anything that involves core muscles putting pressure on the bladder is definitely risky. If you are lucky you may gain complete control quickly, most do so over a period of months, and in my case there has been an ongoing leakiness mostly dealt with by one pad a day but having a spare pad in my back trouser pocket gives me confidence that I can cope with bad days. It doesn't stop me living life.

Good luck for Monday.

User
Posted 08 Jun 2025 at 07:33
Hi Flash

I am now 20 weeks post operation.

Post catheter removal I was using the pull on pants and inserting a smaller pad throughout the day ,which I was replacing up to 4 or 5 times per day .At night it was pants only as I was pretty dry .

I went on Amazon and bought a small quantity of different types of pad to try ,both shapes and absorbency ( they are to suit the different rates of leakage ,low to high)

After 6 weeks I had changed to tight y front pads and the “v shaped pad”,still 4 or 5 pads per day .

My surgeon suggested I increase my pelvic floor exercises to 5 sets per day from 3 (each set is 10 long and 10 short,the Squeezy app can help with timing and act as a reminder which is useful)

At 20 weeks I have just had my first holiday abroad .I am now 2 pads per day ,and unless I am doing something active like a game of golf I am not soaking the pad too heavily .I even managed to swim in the pool without a pad in normal trunks with no leakage ,at least it hadn’t turned Green 😂😂

It is a long slow road to recovery, but most of us with perseverance (keep doing the exercises),should get control back 🙏🙏

Good Luck!

User
Posted 19 Jun 2025 at 14:21
You'll get an initial supply from the hospital and possibly follow-up supplies as necessary.

My NHS Trust provides pads FOC but not all do so it's best to check.

User
Posted 19 Jun 2025 at 14:36

Hi Flash, you might be better renaming yourself splash.

Only kidding mate. Welcome to the forum. According to the wife, and she'll know, I only used a dozen × boxes of ten Tena pads, before I was dry again. From day one I was always dry at night.

I wasn't a member of the forum pre op. So I went in blind as it were. I think this actually worked in my favour. This site, although excellent, does tend to be heavily biased towards poorer outcomes.

Having said that, there have recently been a lot of posts saying how quick some have regained bladder control.

I wish you all the best, mate and hope everything, apart from the urine, goes swimmingly. 👍

Edited by member 19 Jun 2025 at 14:50  | Reason: Typo

User
Posted 19 Jun 2025 at 20:04
Hi Flash

I am just over a year post operation. My op was 13/06/24 and I only used the NHS supplied pads. They are tricky to use at first and had some fun with a few that literally dropped out of my pants and down my trouser legs! Then I got the knack of using them and had no more drop outs. I mainly had issues with driving distances over 30 minutes. Such long journeys could lead to a gush that overwhelmed my pad and I had to keep a supply of pads and change of clothing if I was on a long journey.

By the end of November 2024 I was out of pads for times when I was relaxing and had no heavy lifting to do. By Christmas 2024, I was pad free during the day and by February 2025 I had stopped all pad use.

Unfortunately, I then had a problem with blood in my urine and I needed a biopsy of a lump in my bladder. The great news is the biopsy was cancer free. The bad news was I was back in pads 24/7 for two months. I am now close to pad free again.

I never had one overnight leak so go light on the bed covers. We had the one bed cover and it's never been needed.

User
Posted 03 Jul 2025 at 17:14
Hi! I am 14 days post RARP. My catheter came out 2 days ago. I was totally awaiting the floodgates after reading posts AND being warned significantly by my urologist. However, in time sense, I can honestly say I have only leaked probably a grand total of 30-40ml. Most of that leakage came during a 2.5k walk as soon as I got home and I have been completely dry since. Maybe a drop or 2 after visiting the bathroom. I am actually waiting for the incontinence to start. Wondering if it gets worse or if I can be comfortable moving on. I bought 3 boxes of pads, and have only changed them the past 2 mornings when I wake up. (not because they were wet, but because I had worn them an entire day).

That said, I notice that I have more frequent urges to go and don't urinate as much volume, but I have been able to hold it for the time needed to get to the bathroom with only minor effort. I hope that it continues to go that route. I think I will continue to keep the pads in for confidence for the foreseeable future, however.

User
Posted 03 Jul 2025 at 17:17

Darren, I was 99 percent dry 4 days after catheter removal. Some guys are dry from day one. Still take precautions when bending, sneezing etc.

Thanks Chris 

User
Posted 04 Jul 2025 at 11:02
Hi there, I've just picked up on this thread after being in Central Asia (Kyrgyzstan & Uzbekistan then Istanbul) for 3 weeks. My surgery was on August 16 last year and how well the trip went just shows one journey to pretty well full continence. We had temperatures up to 42C and slept in a yurt at 10,000 feet plus where the ground froze at night. I used pads as insurance but they were hardly damp when changed. But, to add context, one of my near neighbours had his surgery earlier this year and was continent within 4 weeks. He's looking to hand back the boxes of Tena Men supplied by our local NHS but suspects they won't take them. Get used to doing kegels(PFEs) they'll be a help, whatever your situation.

What is the situation with you regarding pads? I haven't had to buy any as they've all been provided by the local NHS (Active Fit followed by Comfort Mini which are neither particularly comfortable or mini sized). This seems like post code issue, is it?

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User
Posted 07 Jun 2025 at 16:39

Hi Flash

Welcome to the place no one wants to be. Apart from cancer spread the 2 things we all worry about are continence and erectile function and you'll have seen on the forum that the range of actual situations following surgery is vast. I massively overbought pads and mattress protectors despite posts on the forum saying 'don't go crazy buying'. Amazon is your friend, both are available next day so don't buy more than one box at a time! I stuck to using Tena pads just because I found the absorbency ratings easy to follow and was told to come in to the hospital with some Tena level 3 pads on catheter removal day. Your need for pads is determined by so many factors it's impossible for the layman to predict how you'll do but definitely do your pelvic floor exercises in the run up to surgery. Good luck and report back!

Cheers, Adam

User
Posted 07 Jun 2025 at 19:43

It isn't a foregone certainty that you'll have issues of significance.

I too expected the worst but was pleasantly surprised to find that I suffered only (infrequent) minor dribbles.

I'm using one pad per day at 8 weeks post op and can get through the night with no leakage at all.

However it works out for you, the key message is it's a situation that can be managed.

User
Posted 07 Jun 2025 at 21:40
Flash, no one knows quite how it will work out for you, some men regain continence very quickly but others have ongoing issues. In terms of pads the best are probably (unless your have them provided, it seems to depend on postcode) the ones you can buy easily. In my case they were the ones made by Tena which were in my local Tesco. I found own-brand significantly more bulky and unpleasant to wear.

And coming out of hospital you will probably want some of the incontinence underpants to ensure protection for the first few nights, though in my case (and that of many here) I became continent at night pretty quickly. Even after that you may want the insurance of protection in bed, some recomment "puppy pads" but I found disposable baby-changing pads ideal to put under the bedsheet.

Certainly in the early days you will find leaks depend on what you are doing. Sitting still is fine, walking around is more risky, anything that involves core muscles putting pressure on the bladder is definitely risky. If you are lucky you may gain complete control quickly, most do so over a period of months, and in my case there has been an ongoing leakiness mostly dealt with by one pad a day but having a spare pad in my back trouser pocket gives me confidence that I can cope with bad days. It doesn't stop me living life.

Good luck for Monday.

User
Posted 08 Jun 2025 at 07:33
Hi Flash

I am now 20 weeks post operation.

Post catheter removal I was using the pull on pants and inserting a smaller pad throughout the day ,which I was replacing up to 4 or 5 times per day .At night it was pants only as I was pretty dry .

I went on Amazon and bought a small quantity of different types of pad to try ,both shapes and absorbency ( they are to suit the different rates of leakage ,low to high)

After 6 weeks I had changed to tight y front pads and the “v shaped pad”,still 4 or 5 pads per day .

My surgeon suggested I increase my pelvic floor exercises to 5 sets per day from 3 (each set is 10 long and 10 short,the Squeezy app can help with timing and act as a reminder which is useful)

At 20 weeks I have just had my first holiday abroad .I am now 2 pads per day ,and unless I am doing something active like a game of golf I am not soaking the pad too heavily .I even managed to swim in the pool without a pad in normal trunks with no leakage ,at least it hadn’t turned Green 😂😂

It is a long slow road to recovery, but most of us with perseverance (keep doing the exercises),should get control back 🙏🙏

Good Luck!

User
Posted 19 Jun 2025 at 14:03

Cheers Adam thanks for the reply, kinda going into practical mode now as surgery is booked for 30th June, I’ll keep in mind not over stocking.

 

cheers 

Flash

User
Posted 19 Jun 2025 at 14:06

Thanks for the reply JB, certainly seems a lack of decent pads/pull ups etc and very mixed reviews.

just a waiting game now as surgery booked for 30th June.

cheers 

Flash

User
Posted 19 Jun 2025 at 14:21
You'll get an initial supply from the hospital and possibly follow-up supplies as necessary.

My NHS Trust provides pads FOC but not all do so it's best to check.

User
Posted 19 Jun 2025 at 14:36

Hi Flash, you might be better renaming yourself splash.

Only kidding mate. Welcome to the forum. According to the wife, and she'll know, I only used a dozen × boxes of ten Tena pads, before I was dry again. From day one I was always dry at night.

I wasn't a member of the forum pre op. So I went in blind as it were. I think this actually worked in my favour. This site, although excellent, does tend to be heavily biased towards poorer outcomes.

Having said that, there have recently been a lot of posts saying how quick some have regained bladder control.

I wish you all the best, mate and hope everything, apart from the urine, goes swimmingly. 👍

Edited by member 19 Jun 2025 at 14:50  | Reason: Typo

User
Posted 19 Jun 2025 at 20:04
Hi Flash

I am just over a year post operation. My op was 13/06/24 and I only used the NHS supplied pads. They are tricky to use at first and had some fun with a few that literally dropped out of my pants and down my trouser legs! Then I got the knack of using them and had no more drop outs. I mainly had issues with driving distances over 30 minutes. Such long journeys could lead to a gush that overwhelmed my pad and I had to keep a supply of pads and change of clothing if I was on a long journey.

By the end of November 2024 I was out of pads for times when I was relaxing and had no heavy lifting to do. By Christmas 2024, I was pad free during the day and by February 2025 I had stopped all pad use.

Unfortunately, I then had a problem with blood in my urine and I needed a biopsy of a lump in my bladder. The great news is the biopsy was cancer free. The bad news was I was back in pads 24/7 for two months. I am now close to pad free again.

I never had one overnight leak so go light on the bed covers. We had the one bed cover and it's never been needed.

User
Posted 03 Jul 2025 at 17:14
Hi! I am 14 days post RARP. My catheter came out 2 days ago. I was totally awaiting the floodgates after reading posts AND being warned significantly by my urologist. However, in time sense, I can honestly say I have only leaked probably a grand total of 30-40ml. Most of that leakage came during a 2.5k walk as soon as I got home and I have been completely dry since. Maybe a drop or 2 after visiting the bathroom. I am actually waiting for the incontinence to start. Wondering if it gets worse or if I can be comfortable moving on. I bought 3 boxes of pads, and have only changed them the past 2 mornings when I wake up. (not because they were wet, but because I had worn them an entire day).

That said, I notice that I have more frequent urges to go and don't urinate as much volume, but I have been able to hold it for the time needed to get to the bathroom with only minor effort. I hope that it continues to go that route. I think I will continue to keep the pads in for confidence for the foreseeable future, however.

User
Posted 03 Jul 2025 at 17:17

Darren, I was 99 percent dry 4 days after catheter removal. Some guys are dry from day one. Still take precautions when bending, sneezing etc.

Thanks Chris 

User
Posted 04 Jul 2025 at 11:02
Hi there, I've just picked up on this thread after being in Central Asia (Kyrgyzstan & Uzbekistan then Istanbul) for 3 weeks. My surgery was on August 16 last year and how well the trip went just shows one journey to pretty well full continence. We had temperatures up to 42C and slept in a yurt at 10,000 feet plus where the ground froze at night. I used pads as insurance but they were hardly damp when changed. But, to add context, one of my near neighbours had his surgery earlier this year and was continent within 4 weeks. He's looking to hand back the boxes of Tena Men supplied by our local NHS but suspects they won't take them. Get used to doing kegels(PFEs) they'll be a help, whatever your situation.

What is the situation with you regarding pads? I haven't had to buy any as they've all been provided by the local NHS (Active Fit followed by Comfort Mini which are neither particularly comfortable or mini sized). This seems like post code issue, is it?

User
Posted 07 Jul 2025 at 19:54
Cheers all, apologies I thought I had replied to all the encouraging responses, I had my rarp on 30th June and due to get the catheter removed this Friday. Boy are they a bugger to live with but who knew you would pee 1 1/2 litres a night,. As far as I know the surgery went as planned and was told they managed to spare nerves on both side so that’s something to look forward too when that department wakes up. For me it’s just waiting on the full pathology report just to make sure it did all go to plan. And then the next part of the adventure is to pee or not to pee. Cheers all.

Flash.

Forgot to add,

I have started a YouTube channel talking about my experiences and to raise awareness of prostate cancer, nothing too serious just being honest about my journey. Go take a look at @flashlamacq

 
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