Help just diagnosed

Hi Dave

I’m so sorry that you’ve been diagnosed and had to join us all. It is certainly a shock in the early stages and consumes most of your mental capacity for the first few months, but as Adrian has said once you have had the chance to discuss things further and decided on a treatment path then you will feel better. It’s also tough with a young family, it does though reinforce how important it is to spend time with them and to enjoy life. I was diagnosed last year at 43 and with two young boys, 7 & 5, it was tough in the early stages but I found this forum a massive help to rationalise the situation. I also decided after a few weeks to tell close friends and family and their support also helped.

Feel free to ask questions, there is lots of people on here  willing to offer their support, advice and experiences. 

All the best 

Hi again Dave.

I don't know the age of your children, but I wouldn't tell them anything yet, because you don't know the extent of the disease. You don't know what, if any, treatment, you will need.

My kids were in their forties when I was diagnosed so there is no comparison to your younger children. However, my two grandkids were only 7 and 4 at the time. I'm very close to them and probably as much time with them as I did with my own kids at their age, because I no longer have any work commitments.

We decided not to tell them anything, it would have upset them too much.  During cancer treatment I ended up in hospital for a couple of weeks following a heart attack. Likewise we didn't tell them all the facts, just that I had tummy problems.

Please don't be offended by this but  you might be thinking a bit too deeply at the moment. Wait and see what your consultant says. People get terrified when they hear the word cancer, but more often than not it isn't the monster it portrayed. It a disease, like any other, that may or may not need treating.

The reason I posted all those links was not to bombard you with confusing facts but to reassure you that the disease can come in many forms and there are many ways to deal with it. If you can mate, sit down for an hour and view the videos, they may put your mind at rest a little. They will also make it easier to understand things your consultant tells you at your appointment.

Good luck, mate.👍

Edited by member 09 Jul 2025 at 09:36  | Reason: Additional text

Dedward,

I hope AS goes well for you, mate. It generally gets bad press on here, because those who find it successful get on with their lives and we never hear from them again. We only hear from those who it has failed.

There was a post from a bloke on here the other day, who'd been on AS for 10 years with no.problems.

Good luck, mate.👍