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User
Posted 24 Jul 2025 at 09:27

After 20 sessions of salvage radiotherapy I've discovered my wife has fallen in love with a man with a functional penis, im bereft, id like to caution about being too entwined with prostate cancer that you lose perspective. I now await my follow up with ambivilance. 

 

User
Posted 24 Jul 2025 at 23:56
My wife left me 12 months after my diagnosis despite her saying she was actually happy I was no longer trying to have sex with her. Turns out she had been wanting to leave for ten years but waited until I was at a really low ebb for her own sadistic satisfaction.

Anyway turns out it was the best thing that ever happened to me, I now know what true love is and what a fulfilling sexual relationship is!!

Don't let the b******'s grind you down!

User
Posted 25 Jul 2025 at 15:41

Hi.

Yes, although I only have the briefest of experience of being investigated for PCa, I can definitely see how much pressure the process puts on relationships.

Focusing on yourself may well have left your wife with time to find this other guy, but that doesn't excuse it. In sickness and in health and all that.

There's nothing anyone can usefully say as to why she chose to do as she did, only she knows that.

But I fully understand your posting about it here, as a trouble shared is a trouble halved. 

I hope that you can find some support to carry you through your treatment and get you through whatever happens regarding your marriage.  

It's horrible but there is a way forward, even if it's impossible to see right now.

Take care and complete your treatment plan, I'm sure things will pan out for the best.

Mick 

User
Posted 24 Jul 2025 at 17:20

Sorry to hear that.

This disease can have an impact on relationships. As with all of life's events post cancer, we have to realise these things might not be cancer related. I hope you get your life back together soon.

Dave

User
Posted 24 Jul 2025 at 20:04
Sorry to hear this, try and concentrate on your health. Relationships do run their course sometimes whether cancer is involved or not. I hope you can bounce back and find some positivity.
User
Posted 25 Jul 2025 at 07:57

Really sorry to hear this, especially at such a crucial time in your treatment. 

I was lucky, my first wife went off with her friend's husband years before my diagnosis. I shudder to think what life would be like if I was still with her. I'm now happily married to the woman who got me through my cancer journey. 

I hope you can bounce back. 

Good luck, 

Kev.

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User
Posted 24 Jul 2025 at 17:20

Sorry to hear that.

This disease can have an impact on relationships. As with all of life's events post cancer, we have to realise these things might not be cancer related. I hope you get your life back together soon.

Dave

User
Posted 24 Jul 2025 at 20:04
Sorry to hear this, try and concentrate on your health. Relationships do run their course sometimes whether cancer is involved or not. I hope you can bounce back and find some positivity.
User
Posted 24 Jul 2025 at 20:07

Hello mate.

I'm sorry to hear that your relationship appears to have broken down. 

I thought prostate cancer would have a huge impact on marriages and cause divorce rates to soar. However, this doesn't appear to be the case. 

 There has been research into how cancer diagnosis affects divorce rates. 

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8959852/

'We found that cancer is associated with a slightly decreased divorce rate, except for cervical cancer, which seems to be associated with an increased divorce rate.'

 These findings amazed me. I thought the pressure of dealing with cancer, especially one that affects sexual intimacy, would have drastically affected relationships.

In my case, PCa and the physical and psychological side effects of treatment, has adversely affected my marriage. It's still relatively good and strong but not as good and strong as it was. 

I wish you well, Joe, and hope that you can again find happiness.

Edited by member 25 Jul 2025 at 09:21  | Reason: Additional text

User
Posted 24 Jul 2025 at 23:56
My wife left me 12 months after my diagnosis despite her saying she was actually happy I was no longer trying to have sex with her. Turns out she had been wanting to leave for ten years but waited until I was at a really low ebb for her own sadistic satisfaction.

Anyway turns out it was the best thing that ever happened to me, I now know what true love is and what a fulfilling sexual relationship is!!

Don't let the b******'s grind you down!

User
Posted 25 Jul 2025 at 07:57

Really sorry to hear this, especially at such a crucial time in your treatment. 

I was lucky, my first wife went off with her friend's husband years before my diagnosis. I shudder to think what life would be like if I was still with her. I'm now happily married to the woman who got me through my cancer journey. 

I hope you can bounce back. 

Good luck, 

Kev.

User
Posted 25 Jul 2025 at 09:25

I was just trying to say I became too obsessed with my recurring cancer, whilst I was reading papers by John Hopkins University, she managed to get something better to do. Shame,. Lots of other reasons of course, but just wanted to air a note of caution, ironically I was really happy with our marriage but like a tailess dog I couldn'tww show it. Best to luck for all on their battle with prostate cancer, but, excuse the geordie pun, no point winning the battle and losing the wor

User
Posted 25 Jul 2025 at 10:41

Hi again.

You make a very valid point, if you're not careful your cancer can be all consuming.

I think it was Craig380 who posted that his consultant had said, "Don't let your cancer become your life." or words to that affect. Very wise words indeed.

There was a lady on here who posted how the cancer had changed her husband and how it had put mental and physical pressures on their relationship.

At first I thought she was being a bit harsh on him, but on reflection, now think how brave she was to explain how she felt. 

User
Posted 25 Jul 2025 at 15:41

Hi.

Yes, although I only have the briefest of experience of being investigated for PCa, I can definitely see how much pressure the process puts on relationships.

Focusing on yourself may well have left your wife with time to find this other guy, but that doesn't excuse it. In sickness and in health and all that.

There's nothing anyone can usefully say as to why she chose to do as she did, only she knows that.

But I fully understand your posting about it here, as a trouble shared is a trouble halved. 

I hope that you can find some support to carry you through your treatment and get you through whatever happens regarding your marriage.  

It's horrible but there is a way forward, even if it's impossible to see right now.

Take care and complete your treatment plan, I'm sure things will pan out for the best.

Mick 

 
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