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Getting my head around the fact I have cancer!

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User
Posted 20 Aug 2025 at 12:34

Hi guys, I'm not sure why I'm writing this, as I don't usually join forums. However yesterday at my 4th cycle of chemo, my nurse suggested I should! Basically I am struggling to get my head around the fact I have advanced prostate cancer. It's obvious I have, but my head doesn't want to except this situation. I have been referred to McMillan for counseling, but unfortunately this will not start now for about 8 weeks. Has anyone else been struggling to except they have cancer? Or I am I being melodramatic! Kindest regards Grant.

User
Posted 20 Aug 2025 at 19:42

Hi Grant,


I'm sorry that you've got advanced PCa, but welcome to the forum, mate.


By saying your "mind doesn't want to except your situation", do you mean that you are mentally struggling to cope and deal with your diagnosis.


I think most men when initially diagnosed suffer from anxiety and depression to some degree. Some come to accept the situation others need a bit of help to cope with it. 


You are reacting normally and certainly not being melodramatic.


As Peterco says there are counselling services available to you. You could also contact your GP who might prescribe antidepressants which may chemically ease your worries and lighten your mood.


You'll also get plenty of support here, most of us can fully empathise with how you feel.


Good luck, mate.👍

User
Posted 20 Aug 2025 at 20:48

This is quite common, as most men don't have any symptoms, and indeed usually feel very well. So being told you have a serious condition which needs treatment and the treatment is going to make you feel worse can be understandably difficult to accept.


Sorry you're here, but hopefully we can answer questions for you. For many people, having answers and understanding what and why treatments are done can help and reduce the anxiety-generating unknown.

User
Posted 21 Aug 2025 at 11:36

Hi Adrian, thank you for your supporting reply. Basically, I feel absolutely normal, apart from my hair deciding it would rather be somewhere else apart from my head! And at the moment, that is my biggest issue. I know I shouldn't care what other people think, but no hair makes me feel embarrassed. I have plenty of support from family and friends, work colleagues and management. My cancer nurse at the GP is amazing, but the McMillan counseling has been moved from 2-4 weeks to 6-8 weeks. I understand they are busy, but that is a hurdle I didn't expect. I'm trying my best to stay positive, so fingers crossed 🤞🏻. 

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User
Posted 20 Aug 2025 at 18:45
I personally didnt have a problem accepting I had cancer, albeit 'only' locally advanced, not knowingly anyway. Plenty of us do though and a lot of people benefit from counselling via the li!es of macmillan, maggies, gp, holistic therapy charities etc. I did suffer depression whilst on the HT etc treatment I had, a common effect, antidepressants from gp really helped.
Peter
User
Posted 20 Aug 2025 at 19:42

Hi Grant,


I'm sorry that you've got advanced PCa, but welcome to the forum, mate.


By saying your "mind doesn't want to except your situation", do you mean that you are mentally struggling to cope and deal with your diagnosis.


I think most men when initially diagnosed suffer from anxiety and depression to some degree. Some come to accept the situation others need a bit of help to cope with it. 


You are reacting normally and certainly not being melodramatic.


As Peterco says there are counselling services available to you. You could also contact your GP who might prescribe antidepressants which may chemically ease your worries and lighten your mood.


You'll also get plenty of support here, most of us can fully empathise with how you feel.


Good luck, mate.👍

User
Posted 20 Aug 2025 at 20:48

This is quite common, as most men don't have any symptoms, and indeed usually feel very well. So being told you have a serious condition which needs treatment and the treatment is going to make you feel worse can be understandably difficult to accept.


Sorry you're here, but hopefully we can answer questions for you. For many people, having answers and understanding what and why treatments are done can help and reduce the anxiety-generating unknown.

User
Posted 21 Aug 2025 at 11:30

Hi Peter, thank you for your reply. I think I have been hard on myself as it has all happened so quickly. I was tested in April, had a scan I thought would be fine. Then the most brutal biopsy I have ever known! All 31 biopsy samples came back aggressive. This shocked me to say the least. After the PET scan had shown it had spread was the last straw I think. My GP cancer nurse is amazing, it's just I was told 2-4 weeks by McMillan for counseling, and now it's gone to 6-8 weeks. I'm glad I took the first step to reach out to you all in this forum, as just to get one reply has lifted my spirits. Thank you 🙏🏻

User
Posted 21 Aug 2025 at 11:36

Hi Adrian, thank you for your supporting reply. Basically, I feel absolutely normal, apart from my hair deciding it would rather be somewhere else apart from my head! And at the moment, that is my biggest issue. I know I shouldn't care what other people think, but no hair makes me feel embarrassed. I have plenty of support from family and friends, work colleagues and management. My cancer nurse at the GP is amazing, but the McMillan counseling has been moved from 2-4 weeks to 6-8 weeks. I understand they are busy, but that is a hurdle I didn't expect. I'm trying my best to stay positive, so fingers crossed 🤞🏻. 

User
Posted 21 Aug 2025 at 11:44

Hi Andy, thank you for the kind words. I too am glad I am here with you all. In one day I feel so welcomed, and I am starting to relise I am very far from being alone. My exceptance of cancer is going to be a struggle, but knowing I can fall back here and vent my frustrations, good or bad has given me a great deal of relief. 💯💪🏻

 
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