Nick, I can only sympathise, but share my own experience in case it is helpful.
I find control tends to be worse in the evenings, probably because what remains of my sphincter muscles become tired - certainly things are worse if they have been worked hard (e.g. gardening). I have never been on a cruise, but I do find parties a particular risk. I think it is a consequence of alcohol, when at home (or restaurants/pub) I know what I am drinking and am careful about it, but at parties my glass tends to be filled up by the hosts without me keeping count and with the conversation and general bonhomie keeping me drinking. It can cause embarrassing leaks.
Like ColwickChris I always carry a spare pad and bag with me in a back pocket; most days it isn't needed but just occasionally I am very grateful. Having learnt my lesson, if we are heading for a party at someone else's house I now change to a higher rated pad before just in case, better to be safe than sorry!