Supporting my Dad with stage 4

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User

Posted 10 Oct 2025 at 21:34

We had quite the shock when we found out my Dad had stage 4 (also spread into his bones), especially being heavily pregnant and imagining something very different for my newly retired parents.

The grief has really hit me and I feel terrible for crying in front of my Dad when I should be his support system.

Please can anyone offer any advice as to how I can support my Dad with the time we have left and to navigate the conversations around treatment?

Thank you

User

Posted 10 Oct 2025 at 23:19

Hello.

I'm sorry that your dad has prostate cancer but credit to you for joining the forum to help him. Welcome.

Stage 4 prostate cancer, although incurable, can be treated. There are many men, who live for many years with metastatic disease. There are some on this forum, who I'm sure will come along to reassure you.

It would be helpful, if you could give your dad's age, when he was diagnosed, what, if any, treatment he's had, and his Gleason score and PSA level.

Edited by member 10 Oct 2025 at 23:53 | Reason: Typo

User

Posted 11 Oct 2025 at 06:30

You have already made a good decision by reaching out on this forum. Try and continue the journey by educating yourself on the current best practice treatment and support your dad by encouraging him to be an active and informed patient.

Don't assume the NHS knows best and always question why, what and when.

User

Posted 11 Oct 2025 at 21:09

Yes, the word ‘incurable’ has been the toughest to hear but I appreciate the positivity as I’m trying to shift my mindset from the initial shock of the news to focus on the time we have.

My Dad is in his early 60’s, he was officially diagnosed in June and since starting hormone therapy (pills and injections) his PSA level has consistency decreased and now is around 1 but pending the latest blood work. It feels like things are very slow from the Doctors or transparent in discussing further treatment plans, is this normal? I just worry they aren’t as hot on the treatment given that it’s spread beyond the prostate.

User

Posted 11 Oct 2025 at 22:14

KT10, I have been on this journey since 2013, my cancer is now being controlled with injections and tablets, my PSA is now 0.04. There won't be anymore curative treatments for me. Do you know what injections and tablets he is on. There is probably little point doing surgery or radical radiation treatment once the cancer has spread.

Thanks Chris

User

Posted 12 Oct 2025 at 09:47

Beg to differ Chris lots of clinical trial support radical treatment (prostate RT or surgery) after spread. The amount and intensity of treatment is more about the individual and what they want or can tolerate

User

Posted 12 Oct 2025 at 10:18

Francij, I perhaps generalized a bit too much 🙂. I did say "probably" little point removing or radiating the prostate if the cancer has spread. Would it be fair to say the above treatments are less likely if there is widespread disease. We of course don't know the full diagnosis.

Thanks Chris

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