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My husband just been diagnosed with prostate cancer

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User
Posted 11 Oct 2025 at 09:00

Hi, my name is Bea and my husband just been diagnosed with prostate cancer. We are both lost and struggling at the moment. My husband is 63 years old and he did not have any symptoms with his prostate. He asked for a psa test 3 years ago, because his brother was struggling with some prostate issues. His psa was 6.5 so they asked for an mri and that come back all clear 2 years ago. He had psa blood test since. This July he had an mri again and that came back with some abnormal cells, so they did a biopsy which confirmed the cancer. They did 15 samples, 7 came back cancerous. 20% grade 4 and 80% grade 3, so his Gleason score is 3+4=7. There is no tumour as such. And it has not spread. They want to keep him on active surveillance for now. But my husband is not comfortable of having this disease in him, so he’s set his heart on surgery. Prostatectomy. The other options would be radiotherapy or bracchi therapy. He’s thinking if he has to have the surgery he’d rather have it now when he’s younger and fitter. He knows about the side effects of it all. His sister died of cancer. So that’s playing on his mind as well. I’m not sure what would be the best solution, the more I read about treatments the more confused and indecisive I’m getting. I’m here for some advice. Thank you

User
Posted 11 Oct 2025 at 09:00

Hi, my name is Bea and my husband just been diagnosed with prostate cancer. We are both lost and struggling at the moment. My husband is 63 years old and he did not have any symptoms with his prostate. He asked for a psa test 3 years ago, because his brother was struggling with some prostate issues. His psa was 6.5 so they asked for an mri and that come back all clear 2 years ago. He had psa blood test since. This July he had an mri again and that came back with some abnormal cells, so they did a biopsy which confirmed the cancer. They did 15 samples, 7 came back cancerous. 20% grade 4 and 80% grade 3, so his Gleason score is 3+4=7. There is no tumour as such. And it has not spread. They want to keep him on active surveillance for now. But my husband is not comfortable of having this disease in him, so he’s set his heart on surgery. Prostatectomy. The other options would be radiotherapy or bracchi therapy. He’s thinking if he has to have the surgery he’d rather have it now when he’s younger and fitter. He knows about the side effects of it all. His sister died of cancer. So that’s playing on his mind as well. I’m not sure what would be the best solution, the more I read about treatments the more confused and indecisive I’m getting. I’m here for some advice. Thank you

User
Posted 11 Oct 2025 at 18:12

Thank you Debbie, silly question but how do I find your profile?

 

many thanks for your reply 🙂

 

ps I have found the profile thank you

Edited by member 11 Oct 2025 at 18:19  | Reason: Answered my own question

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User
Posted 11 Oct 2025 at 16:12
Dear Bea,

I’m sorry to hear about your husband but glad you found this site. I wish I had found this community when my husband was initially diagnosed two years ago, because this is a very supportive group. My husband was much further along when diagnosed so I cannot advise. I am sure others on here can tell you how they feel about when is the best time to choose surgery. I have taken the advice of others on here to not look backward, only forward. But we definitely would have chosen surgery when my husband's PC was contained if we had known about it then.

User
Posted 11 Oct 2025 at 16:29

Thank you for your reply. It’s so overwhelming and stressful right now, so I welcome any replies from people who are in the same shoes as us. My husband has only been diagnosed 1.5 weeks ago, so it’s still very raw and we are not coping at all.

User
Posted 11 Oct 2025 at 17:22
Hi Bea, sorry you both find yourself in this situation, but as mentioned above, those site is invaluable and we found it a fabulous source of information and comfort.

If you want to check out our full profile, please do as we were in an almost identical situation to you.

Steve was 62, psa 6.5, tumors both side of prostate but mri showed all contained within the prostate. Gleason 3+4. He considered other options but overwhelming thoughts for him was he just wanted it out of him. Our thoughts were if he did nothing and just monitored then he was just kicking the can down the road and putting off the inevitable…and worrying that the longer left, would it break out of the capsule?

He had surgery in January 2024; post op histology confirmed cancer was all contained, so for him, the right decision.

Yes there are side effects and everyone’s experience here is different so won’t go into that here, you can read on our profile….but despite those, Steve says he would make the same decision.

Please ask away if you need any more info, everyone on here understands what you’re both going through.

Debbie

User
Posted 11 Oct 2025 at 17:31

Hi Bea.

Welcome to the forum.

Please watch this video with your husband, it explains all treatment options and possible side effects.

https://youtu.be/zYTU94-8pTc?si=1Z29_l8rbTwF6DHl

Good luck. 👍

Edited by member 11 Oct 2025 at 17:32  | Reason: Typo

User
Posted 11 Oct 2025 at 18:12

Thank you Debbie, silly question but how do I find your profile?

 

many thanks for your reply 🙂

 

ps I have found the profile thank you

Edited by member 11 Oct 2025 at 18:19  | Reason: Answered my own question

User
Posted 11 Oct 2025 at 18:13

Thank you, we will watch it 👍

User
Posted 12 Oct 2025 at 13:10

Hi Bea 624280

My diagnosis was very similar to his. I had prostatectomy 16 years ago and we still enjoying life and have seen our grandchildren growing up. Yes there are side effects which I have but that hasn't stopped us enjoying our life. Treatments have improved a great deal since my time.  I know it is very worrying for you both but prognosis for this shocking disease is very positive. You may like to look at my stream of posts on this site. Good luck.

 'Physics is like sex: sure, it may give some practical results, but that’s not why we do it.'                    Richard Feynman (1918-1988) Nobel Prize laureate

 

 

User
Posted 12 Oct 2025 at 13:29

Thank you so much for your reassuring kind words, means a lot

User
Posted 12 Oct 2025 at 14:29

I was diagnosed with 3+4 (Gleason 7) PSA 5.6 in  September 2019 (age ~52). Decided to ignore the AS recommendations and took a second opinion. Had it removed the same month privately at London Bridge (Guys Hospital) by a top professor surgeon using RARP retzius sparing + NeuroSAFE. Pleased I acted when I did as post histology showed it was close to going T3.

I was very worried before surgery but when I woke up and came round I realised it was less hassle than having my tonsils out in many ways. Absolutely nothing to worry about and a bit of management overheads with catheter bag for two weeks plus being sensible and not doing too much for 3 months.

Not looked back since and life normal and doing lots of calisthenics in the gym. No continence issues and fortunate as no ED issues.

 

Edited by member 12 Oct 2025 at 14:36  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 12 Oct 2025 at 20:23

Wow amazing. Thank you for sharing your story, I’ll tell my husband about your experience 👍

 
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