Is there hope?

User

Posted 23 Oct 2025 at 12:02

Hi everyone,

I am new here and looking for some experiences similar to my dad’s. We have never dealt with anything like this so any words you can offer are appreciated. We are absolutely heartbroken.

Today we attended an appt with the consultant following a high PSA blood reading for dad (in the 2 week wait to see the consultant my dad had a CT scan and a bone scan)

When we attended today the doctor confirmed cancer had spread into the bones at the top of the spine and to the rib cage on one side. It has also gone into the Lymph Nodes in the pelvic area and in the abdomen wall.

They started him today on a tablet called Bicalutamide (1 per day) and they also said a weekly injection. Until he sees the oncologist.

They have told him in the next week he will be called for a biopsy to confirm something called a Gleason Score and also what type of cancer it is.

They’ve not discussed any other treatment.

They also mentioned that the radiologist has said there is something showing at the top

Of his bowel (they don’t really think it’s cancer) but are not 100% sure, so are referring him to bowel screening (which they said will be dealt with separately) he does have regular stool samples as part of routine checks, but nothing has ever come back.

Back to the prostrate cancer, they said it’s not curable but treatable.

Has anyone had similar to my dad????

When I’ve researched it seems to not be common which makes me feel so sad

If so what treatment did you have?

And when was you diagnosed.

Is there anything I need to ask at more appointments my minds blank at the minute. I can’t sleep I’m that upset

Thanks so much 🙏

User

Posted 23 Oct 2025 at 12:02

Hi everyone,

I am new here and looking for some experiences similar to my dad’s. We have never dealt with anything like this so any words you can offer are appreciated. We are absolutely heartbroken.

Today we attended an appt with the consultant following a high PSA blood reading for dad (in the 2 week wait to see the consultant my dad had a CT scan and a bone scan)

They started him today on a tablet called Bicalutamide (1 per day) and they also said a weekly injection. Until he sees the oncologist.

They have told him in the next week he will be called for a biopsy to confirm something called a Gleason Score and also what type of cancer it is.

They’ve not discussed any other treatment.

They also mentioned that the radiologist has said there is something showing at the top

Back to the prostrate cancer, they said it’s not curable but treatable.

Has anyone had similar to my dad????

When I’ve researched it seems to not be common which makes me feel so sad

If so what treatment did you have?

And when was you diagnosed.

Is there anything I need to ask at more appointments my minds blank at the minute. I can’t sleep I’m that upset

Thanks so much 🙏

User

Posted 23 Oct 2025 at 18:04

Hello and welcome....although sad to find you here.

All our details are in my profile which you can find by clicking on my photo. My partner was diagnosed in July, aged 56 years old, widespread bone mets, 7 bones affected in total.....devasted doesnt come close BUT we have been overwhelmed by the support from forums like this and also from our local Maggies centre.....check out where your nearest one is......honestly worth visiting. Treatments are progressing all the time, there is no reason why your dad wont have many good years in front of him.

We haven't really asked about prognosis because it doesn't matter, we all have an expiry date but this diagnosis has just reminded us how precious life is.....if anything, we are living a much better life now, really embracing new opportunities etc.

Use these forums to gather some questions together, write things down and write notes in the appointments too, we all have a different journey but just remember you are not alone💙

User

Posted 24 Oct 2025 at 15:19

Hi, Wishing you and your dad all the best. There certainly is hope - although I know it's hard to imagine at the time of diagnosis. I was diagnosed 3 years ago (details in my profile) with prostate cancer that's spread to my bones. Obviously, my life changed that day - but there have been a lot of positives in the last 3 years. There are 4 main types of therapy.

1. The oncologist will almost certainly recommend hormone injections (e.g. once every 3 months) for your dad - there are various types but I think all are fairly similar. There is now a daily tablet (Relugolix) that is available on the NHS which could be taken instead of the injections.

2. They will also very probably discuss the addition of a different type of hormone tablets (in the UK, Enzalutamide; Abiraterone; Apalutamide or Darolutamide). These are newer drugs which have proven very effective at increasing life expectancy with good quality of life. They seem to have fairly similar effectiveness to each other - although side effects may differ.

3. They may also discuss (depending on your fathers age/fitness) starting chemotherapy (now or in the future) with docetaxel. The aim of this is to shrink the cancer - but it comes with the side effects of chemotherapy.

4. They may also discuss (depending on the extent to which the cancer has already spread) some radiotherapy to the prostate gland.

None of these are cures but there is evidence that, in some men, they can significantly improve quality of life / life expectancy in future.

There are also a lot of other therapies depending on what other symptoms your dad has (e.g. problems peeing or bone pain) and the genotype of his cancer.

There is an overwhelming amount of information - particularly at the 1st Oncologist appointment. The most important thing is to discuss and then decide on 1. and 2. above. Decisions about 3. and 4. can typically wait until later oncologist appointments.

Take a notebook with your questions and take someone who can write down (or record) all the options the oncologist mentions so that you can think about them after the appointment. If NHS, you should be introduced to a specialist prostate cancer nurse who can help answer your questions after the appointment.

All the best,

Will

Edited by member 24 Oct 2025 at 15:27 | Reason: Not specified

User

Posted 24 Oct 2025 at 15:42

p.s. I still have a copy of the questions that I asked at the 1st oncologist appointment, in case they are useful. You might not want to ask all of them.

1. What treatments would you recommend in terms of: 1) hormone injections; 2) hormone tablets; 3) chemotherapy; 4) radiotherapy to the prostate gland.

2. What do the CT/MRI and bone scans show? Please could I have a print out of the radiologists reports.

3. What is my probability of survival at 12 months and at 5 years?

4. Are there any research trials that I might be eligible to enroll in?

5. What types of physical activity would you recommend I can do or should avoid?

6. Who is the best contact if I have questions after this appointment or in an emergency?

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User

Posted 23 Oct 2025 at 12:39

Hi,

So sorry about your dad's situation, unfortunately it is very common and you will find out a lot of information and experience from people on here.

My brother has just had a very similar diagnosis at 63 years old.

There is very definitely hope. Yes his cancer is not curable, but it is treatable. And he will certainly be able to live a good and full life for some years to come based on current treatments.

The gleeson score refers to what type of cancer cells are active in your dad, so its an important part of his diagnosis. The biopsy is from the prostate itself and requires a probe up the bottom, but its just a mild medical procedure and not horrendous. Ask for more information if you feel you need it.

Its tough to hear the news and everyone assumes the very worst when the C word crops up. But there really is a lot of cause for optimism about how long your dad will have a good quality of life For.

There will be people along who have more direct experience of your dad's situation and you've taken the most positive step by making contact with the forum. Share it with your dad if it is something he is open to. Not everyone wants to engage or hear other people's experiences so dont be upset if he says no thank you. Your increase in knowledge will be more than useful by staying here.

Take your time to process what is happening and ask questions whenever you see the people dealing with dad as you need to know as much as possible about his illness.

Take care and stay in touch, Mick

User

Posted 23 Oct 2025 at 13:51

Dad will be on systemic treatment of one sort or another to slow down advance of the disease. If he develops pain in a particular area they sometimes treat this with radiotherapy.

The Gleason score is comprised of two grades of cancer, the first number being the grade most prevalent and the second being the grade of the second most grade of cancer with the two figures being added together to give a Gleason score. Grade 3 is only very slightly differentiated from normal cells whereas the number increases to 4 or 5 as the cells become more deviant from normal.

As regards the biopsy, ask if this can be a Transperineal one rather than a TRUS type as the former has several advantages, with less risk of an infection which if required can be difficult to overcome.

Be aware that there is an increased risk for sons if a father has PCa so get PSA checked by mid forties. Many men wait until they have some symptoms before being tested and this gives cancer a head start as it can often advance seriously before any symptoms are displayed.

Edited by member 23 Oct 2025 at 13:55 | Reason: Not specified

Barry

User

Posted 23 Oct 2025 at 18:04

Hello and welcome....although sad to find you here.

Use these forums to gather some questions together, write things down and write notes in the appointments too, we all have a different journey but just remember you are not alone💙

User

Posted 23 Oct 2025 at 18:42

Hi , as the others have said ,sorry you are here . My OH Gary was diagnosed with lymph node involvement similar to your dad but no bone mass . He was 55 at the time and at the time we were so shocked ,he had no symptoms apart from one day he couldn’t wee . The waiting was the hardest but once all the scores came in (psa23 Gleason 4+5) and he was given a treatment plan ,(we knew it wasn’t curable .)he had early chemo (6) and then put on a trial.
His PSA came down pretty quickly.Yes things change physically and mentally not only for Gary but me as well .
He still works and we enjoy life as it comes ,we’ve welcomed 7 grandchildren since his diagnosis 10 years ago ,something he never thought possible. Treatments have greatly improved in those 10 yrs .
Keep strong ,lots of help on here .
Best wishes Debby .

Edited by member 23 Oct 2025 at 18:44 | Reason: Not specified

User

Posted 24 Oct 2025 at 15:19

4. They may also discuss (depending on the extent to which the cancer has already spread) some radiotherapy to the prostate gland.

None of these are cures but there is evidence that, in some men, they can significantly improve quality of life / life expectancy in future.

There are also a lot of other therapies depending on what other symptoms your dad has (e.g. problems peeing or bone pain) and the genotype of his cancer.

All the best,

Will

Edited by member 24 Oct 2025 at 15:27 | Reason: Not specified

User

Posted 24 Oct 2025 at 15:42

p.s. I still have a copy of the questions that I asked at the 1st oncologist appointment, in case they are useful. You might not want to ask all of them.

1. What treatments would you recommend in terms of: 1) hormone injections; 2) hormone tablets; 3) chemotherapy; 4) radiotherapy to the prostate gland.

2. What do the CT/MRI and bone scans show? Please could I have a print out of the radiologists reports.

3. What is my probability of survival at 12 months and at 5 years?

4. Are there any research trials that I might be eligible to enroll in?

5. What types of physical activity would you recommend I can do or should avoid?

6. Who is the best contact if I have questions after this appointment or in an emergency?

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