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Mind Wandering - whilst waiting

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User
Posted 27 Nov 2025 at 11:19

Have had a couple of weeks to get though initial diagnosis (Gleason 3+4) - still hopefully isolated to prostate but now had Full Bone Scan and awaiting Full MRI so we can understand any wider implications.

I am usually very pragmatic about these things but am struggling a bit to put this into perspective. At 56 - Cancer to me has always been a/the really "big deal" in "things that may happen" terms - but equally - the treatments I have looked into seem to be developing very quickly.

Sitting here and should be working - a pile of things to do - a year to retirement - and my mind keeps coming back to the cancer - sitting there - hopefully not developing quickly - hopefully treatable - hopefully not moved elsewhere - waiting for the MRI - wanting to know the next steps (which we can't know until the full picture is known). Fortunately my team (from boss down) seem to be very understanding and are giving me soem time....

Anyone else find they struggle to prioritise work - against the coming battle(s)? 

 

Right - back to the work....

 

User
Posted 27 Nov 2025 at 23:03
Yes it takes over your life, the realisation you are mortal comes as a major shock to most people.
User
Posted 28 Nov 2025 at 07:05

Yes, it is shocking when you hear you have it. You never think it might be you but when it turns on your door, you always think of for worse scenario. The waiting time to get whole picture could be more worse. But once you get diagnoses you are a bit relieved. And gradually you get use to it and get back to normal life with a bit of bitterness every now and then.

User
Posted 28 Nov 2025 at 12:22

I agree, just waiting for information is very distracting and distressing.

I think a lot of that comes down to the extremely poor and patchy communication from the NHS and various departments..

For example, I was told I would hear the results of my MRI scan in about two or three weeks. When I got a phone call three days later telling me I had to have a biopsy my mind went into overdrive. The nurse who called me did not know my MRI results or why a biopsy was needed, so my brain reasoned it must be serious. When I went for the biopsy the radiologist said I should have been made fully aware of my MRI results before seeing him. But he explained them to me, casually saying it was most likely to be cancer and the biopsy would just confirm it. I didn't hear from anyone for three weeks so tried to get in contact. When I eventually did get to speak to a secretary she was most put out that I was wasting her time because I'd already been discharged. "We are busy with people who really do have cancer" was her response, making me feel like a fraud and that having the tests had been and inconvenience to them. 

If the NHS could get its act together on communication and a little bit of humanity then things woukd be far easier for those going through this kind of process..the TV packages of nurses and doctors patting hands and giving out hugs is certainly not me experience. 

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User
Posted 27 Nov 2025 at 23:03
Yes it takes over your life, the realisation you are mortal comes as a major shock to most people.
User
Posted 28 Nov 2025 at 07:05

Yes, it is shocking when you hear you have it. You never think it might be you but when it turns on your door, you always think of for worse scenario. The waiting time to get whole picture could be more worse. But once you get diagnoses you are a bit relieved. And gradually you get use to it and get back to normal life with a bit of bitterness every now and then.

User
Posted 28 Nov 2025 at 12:22

I agree, just waiting for information is very distracting and distressing.

I think a lot of that comes down to the extremely poor and patchy communication from the NHS and various departments..

For example, I was told I would hear the results of my MRI scan in about two or three weeks. When I got a phone call three days later telling me I had to have a biopsy my mind went into overdrive. The nurse who called me did not know my MRI results or why a biopsy was needed, so my brain reasoned it must be serious. When I went for the biopsy the radiologist said I should have been made fully aware of my MRI results before seeing him. But he explained them to me, casually saying it was most likely to be cancer and the biopsy would just confirm it. I didn't hear from anyone for three weeks so tried to get in contact. When I eventually did get to speak to a secretary she was most put out that I was wasting her time because I'd already been discharged. "We are busy with people who really do have cancer" was her response, making me feel like a fraud and that having the tests had been and inconvenience to them. 

If the NHS could get its act together on communication and a little bit of humanity then things woukd be far easier for those going through this kind of process..the TV packages of nurses and doctors patting hands and giving out hugs is certainly not me experience. 

User
Posted 28 Nov 2025 at 17:40

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member

I agree, just waiting for information is very distracting and distressing.

I think a lot of that comes down to the extremely poor and patchy communication from the NHS and various departments..

For example, I was told I would hear the results of my MRI scan in about two or three weeks. When I got a phone call three days later telling me I had to have a biopsy my mind went into overdrive. The nurse who called me did not know my MRI results or why a biopsy was needed, so my brain reasoned it must be serious. When I went for the biopsy the radiologist said I should have been made fully aware of my MRI results before seeing him. But he explained them to me, casually saying it was most likely to be cancer and the biopsy would just confirm it. I didn't hear from anyone for three weeks so tried to get in contact. When I eventually did get to speak to a secretary she was most put out that I was wasting her time because I'd already been discharged. "We are busy with people who really do have cancer" was her response, making me feel like a fraud and that having the tests had been and inconvenience to them. 

If the NHS could get its act together on communication and a little bit of humanity then things woukd be far easier for those going through this kind of process..the TV packages of nurses and doctors patting hands and giving out hugs is certainly not me experience. 

Thanks Mick, I must admit comms and support from the NHS teams up here (Highlands) were a lot better than your experience. From MRI to biopsy was a week/10 days - no mention was made of any findings though, so when I saw the MRI with a lesion they were investigating with the biopsy, that sent me over the edge/tears. I had been prepped a little before going in but again - the nurses obv. weren't allowed to say say anything until the relevant experts had looked/tested/analysed the results. I had a phone call only 4 days later from the Nurse Specialist who informed me of the findings - which by then I had guessed generally - but this gave me the details of 3+4  but contained.

SO now - the bone scan - and full body MRI same day - but scanner was broken - so delayed a couple of weeks....

 
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