Hi, Genevie.
My Dad was 89 years old when he died of prostate cancer 9 years ago. He'd been diagnosed about 10 years earlier. He was deemed too old and frail for surgery or radiation, and instead was treated with hormone injections. He lived with my mum, who was 4 years older than him, in their own house.
Ageing and the disease gradually took a toll on him. His quality of life was still pretty good but he couldn't do as much as he once did. Fortunately he was still able to do their shopping, housework and eat okay. He was lucky, me and my brother lived fairly nearby and were able to help them.
About a month before he died, mum contacted me saying that he was getting much worse. I took him to his GP who did a PSA test, which I seem to recall was over a thousand! A subsequent scan showed that he was riddled with cancer. It was in most of pelvic area lower back and leg bones.
He then became almost bed bound. I contacted an emergency social services dept and they immediately assessed him and offered care visits, which although he had funds, were done at no cost.
I also contacted Macmillan nurses. They were absolutely brilliant. Someone came to see him and explained palliative care to me. I seem to recall, that if they think the patient has only got three months left to live, they can consider hospice/nursing care, which is free.
A few days later, I moved in with mum and dad, to help out. By this time he was very poorly and was hardly drinking and eating.
I called his GP and they sent a community nurse to us. She said that he needed to be moved to a nursing home. Me and mum were with him awaiting transport to facilitate the move, when he peacefully passed away.
My dad had always said that he wanted to die at home and as usual he got what he wanted.🙂
From that day on and for the next 6 years, me and my brother were in the enviable position to be able to take turns in looking after mum at our respective homes. Unfortunately her health worsened, as did me and my brother's. We were both diagnosed with prostate cancer. Unfortunaltely we were no longer able to look after mum, and had to put her into care for the last year of her life. She was a 101 when she died.
There is help out there to help those who've not gone long left to live, but I guess like everything else, it may be more problematic to get that help now, than it was 10 years ago.
My heart goes out to you both. X
Edited by member 16 Apr 2026 at 10:29
| Reason: Typo