I’ve been battling prostate cancer for the last year and Monday I got the official confirmation, my cancer is not gone and is stage 4.
I’m doing what I need to for second opinions, counseling (but how does counseling work, if I’m already hostile to the idea of being at peace with the outcome, no matter how bad it is?), I’m making the necessary steps to continue treating, going to my friends and family for help, and getting as much positive support as possible.
Last year at this time I felt so great and full of energy. Now, I still feel good, other than the surgical repercussions I’m working through. But, I feel depressed and angry. But, since I got my stage 4 diagnosis, every ache and pain, I ask myself, is that cancer or just life pains?
In the end, I feel robbed and cheated out of a good end of life and losing my vitality. Looking back, I was optimistic about the future. Now I reflect on my life, disappointed at how I got here and more disappointed about what lies ahead.
It does feel the easiest option is to continue treating and the hard one is to let it go and just suffer the pain and agony before I’m gone and at peace.
The kicker is, my genetic testing shows no mutations or any indicators that I’m predisposed to this or any other cancer. My body is telling me it wants to kill me.
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User
Hi
I'm sorry that you've joined the stage 4 club. No one wants to be here. But having been here for four years, I can say that there is hope. For many men hormone therapy is manageable and keeps cancer in check for years. Take things one day at a time and plan to do the things that make you happy.
Nothing else matters.
Best wishes