How do you tell your family......

Hi

I think this is down to each individual. In my case, I felt I couldn't not tell close family. I'm glad I did as they have been a huge support. It's natural for you not to want to burden them, but they might want to know so that they can be there for you?

The fact that PC has been caught before it spread and that you have a clear treatment plan might help them come to terms with your news. 

Hope it goes well whatever you decide.

Hi,

16 years ago, when I was 54 years old, my dad, who was then 80 years old, telephoned me. That was very unusual. Although we spoke on the phone everyday, it was always me that rang him.

He asked how me and the wife were and how his grandkids and great grand kids were. He then spoke at great length about what he was having for dinner before analysing how England did in the last test match.

Then, right at the end of the half an hour call. He said," Oh, and I've found out that I've got prostate cancer that can't be cured"

I remember that call, as if it was yesterday.

He lasted another eight years. It wasn't  mentioned on his death certificate, but I knew that it was the main cause of his demise.

Fortunately,  he passed away, before my younger brother and I were both diagnosed with the disease. The thought that his two boys may be have to cope with what he'd had to cope with, would have deeply upset him.

I was 63 years old when I was diagnosed. I chose active surveillance. I didn't tell any of my kids that I had PCa. It was 2 years later, when I ended up needing surgery that I informed them. 

However, we all kept it a secret from my grandson who was 9 years old at that time. Even at that age, I'd heard him talking about cancer and how it can make people bald. He was frightened by it.

A few weeks after my robotic surgery, I took him swimming and he noticed the operation puncture wounds across my abdomen.

"What are they, Grumble?", he asked.

I had I to think quick!

" Bullet wounds, when I was shot in the Army" 

No wonder I'm that lad's hero. 😁

He's now got his first girlfriend. Her mum has been very poorly with breast cancer. He is worried about her. It was only then, that I told him that I'd had cancer and that you recover from it. He's less frightened now.

With a strong family history of the disease, I often advise my two lads, who are both approaching fifty, to get themselves tested.  However, the thought that my two boys may be have to cope with what I've had to cope with, would deeply upset me. So the circle of life continues.....

Edited by member 17 Aug 2026 at 11:19  | Reason: Typo