husband spirraling

User

Posted 27 Oct 2026 at 11:27

Hi - thanks for allowing me to join - although i'd rather not have too - nothing against you guys :)

So my husband (71) recently (8/10/26) had a PSA test (low pee flow) and the reading came back at 27.1. Obviously this has now put some wheels in motion.

GP referred him on the 2 week pathway - he's had a CT scan but no results yet. He's got a NM Bone scan appointment for tomorrow. But as yet he hasn't had a DRE or any biopsies. But regarding the biopsy - he's adimante he doesn't want it unless its under general.

As you can imagine he's in a very dark place at the moment, fearing the worst. He's convinced himself that its going to be the very worst outcome and nothing i say will convince him otherwise. I'm trying to be positive but its very hard.

So i'm here really just to vent but also to get your opinions and some answers. At that reading is it going to be cancer and will it be the worst case? Can they tell without biopsies yet? Is the order of tests significant?

i'm sure i'll be back but that's all i can think of for now.

User

Posted 27 Oct 2026 at 12:16

thanks for your replies guys.

yes the waiting for tests and the unknown is the bit that seems to be the worse. Fingers crossed its not as bad as he believes it to be, and we'll certainly be pleading his case for some sort of sedation for the biopsy stage.

I'll keep you updated.

thanks again

User

Posted 29 Oct 2026 at 17:07

Daisy.

The biopsy procedure is very straightforward and painless.

Back in the day we all had dentistry done with general anaesthetic, not any more.

I'd far rather have a biopsy under local than a tooth out.

I know a lot of men fret and fuss about having anything put in their rear passage, I have my suspicions as to why that is and it's a nonsense.

The rectal biopsy is just a procedure, nothing more.

Some times I think men need a good old kick in the pants and some tough love to say get on with it. Women have far more invasive and embarrassing tests to deal with and you hear very little about it in the way of complaint.

Hope he gets all his tests done soon.

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User

Posted 27 Oct 2026 at 11:46

Hello Daisy,

sorry for what you're both going through.

He can ask for a biopsy under GA, but it will probably delay it as that means booking a theatre slot and theatre team. Another option might be to have it done under sedation if available at his hospital.

A biopsy is usually done - it's that which diagnoses prostate cancer and how aggressive it is. It's only normally skipped in old people who aren't going to be suitable for any curative treatment due to age/frailty and will manage it with just hormone therapy, or sometimes if the scans show extensive spread.

This period of going through diagnosis is usually the most anxiety generating, in part due to a sense that you're lost control of your lives. When you have the diagnosis and start choosing a treatment plan, that often marks the point where you feel you're starting to take control of your lives again.

User

Posted 27 Oct 2026 at 11:58

Hi, Daisy.

I'm sorry to see that your husband may be having prostate problems, but it's great that you've joined us, in order to give him some support. Welcome to the forum.

I think I'm right in saying that it's usually to have an MRI scan first. Bone scans seem to be relatively normal procedure.

As far as I'm aware a biopsy is is the only sure way of detecting IF there is any cancer, and IF there is, how aggressive it's likely to be.

His PSA of 27, is deemed high and does suggest there is greater likelihood of PCa. However, it is only an indicator, PSA levels as high as his can still be caused by non cancerous conditions such as prostate inflammation, (prostatitis), an enlarged prostate (BPH, benign prostatic hyperplasia,) and UTIs.

I don't think he can demand a biopsy done under general anaesthetic, but if he pleads his case, they might oblige.

As Andy says, these early stages, where a diagnosis is being made, is the hardest time. Various test and scans are nerve-racking, and waiting for results can be depressing. My advice is to be as patient as you can, and just take one step at a time.

Please keep us updated and good luck to you both. 👍

Edited by member 27 Oct 2026 at 12:04 | Reason: Additional text

User

Posted 27 Oct 2026 at 12:16

thanks for your replies guys.

I'll keep you updated.

thanks again

User

Posted 27 Oct 2026 at 18:48

Hi Daisy

Sorry that you have ended up here, but the folks are great. I didn’t find this until six months or so in, so missed a lot of the support during this early stage.

It is really difficult in these early days, and you probably won’t feel better about things until the final diagnosis- which will involve a biopsy .

Once a treatment pathway is identified things will get clearer and easier to manage.

Don’t forget that you can click on our names or roundel to see our own stories which may help you in seeing how we have faired individually. My PSA was 953 a year ago - it has been undetectable since April, so you can see that the treatments can work…

Best wishes - stay positive

CeePee

User

Posted 27 Oct 2026 at 19:54

Hi Daisy,

I just wanted to add my support. I think the entries before me have mainly dealt with what to expect and I just wanted to say that you are doing the right thing. This is a great forum and we will help as much as we can. Please feel free to rant on here as often as you need to.

The darkness of those early days were bad for me as well. My wonderful wife was the difference as she kept me taking only the next step and talking me out of looking too far ahead. She came to all my appointments and did a great job of capturing the information that I missed. I'm certain you will do the same for your husband. If you read around on here; you will see references to this being a couple’s disease but it's really more a couples challenge and it's as a couple that we got through it, to the point that I am at. If you want to see my journey to date then click on my name and read my profile.

Hang on in there, both of you!

User

Posted 29 Oct 2026 at 17:07

Daisy.

The biopsy procedure is very straightforward and painless.

Back in the day we all had dentistry done with general anaesthetic, not any more.

I'd far rather have a biopsy under local than a tooth out.

I know a lot of men fret and fuss about having anything put in their rear passage, I have my suspicions as to why that is and it's a nonsense.

The rectal biopsy is just a procedure, nothing more.

Hope he gets all his tests done soon.

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