Starting Over

Starting Over

User

Posted 13 May 2015 at 08:26

This thread has put a smile on my face this morning. I wish my OH had a sense of humour like you ladies!

Paul

Stay Calm And Carry On.

User

Posted 30 May 2015 at 19:56

I have just got back to Uk from a 7 day cruise with friends, my first without Mick it was another milestone, for me quite a major one. I proved to myself that I can go on holiday and have fun. For as long as I have friends that I treasure I can and will. There were a few emotional moments like our Head waiter sharing photo memories of us all from our first cruise in 1999/2000 when Mick looked like 007 in his DJ at the Millenium party or when I was invited for drinks with the Captain and his officers and I had my Best friend by my side but that was not Mick it was Jackie. I also had a significant phone issue so I could not keep in touch which left me feeling a little isolated.

The Cities we visited were fabulous, the weather was kind albeit cold and the food, entertainment and drinking were top notch. I walked so many miles every day I managed to do 7 days being very naughty without gaining any weight as well. Back to the gym on Monday and onto my diet again the break has motivated me to work even harder.

Next week is going to see another milestone that I must work my way through, on Tuesday it will be one year since Mick died, my life has moved on in so many ways and I have a lot of new things that have filled the void that was left behind following his death, but I will never forget. I now know life does go on and can be enjoyed it just takes balance, a lot of supportive friends and family and belief in yourself. I believe in me and all that lies before me with hope.

Next stop my posthumous birthday present from Mick about a year ago, a day at the Spa with Jackie and Sarah. Then MOTS with Karen and with loads of you from this forum (and NO pole dancing) then 10 days in France with my wonderful brother and his wife, I never thought I would or could say this but Life is Good, different yes, but still good.

Best wishes to everyone
xx
Mo

User

Posted 30 May 2015 at 20:13

So glad to you hear you sounding so upbeat My SS, you have been in my thoughts constantly because I know how close we are getting to the first Anniversary. So much can happen in a year and yet how we can all be brought back in an instance to where we started. Loads of love as always you are getting there , with set backs yes but you are getting closer to the top of that mountain. Keep going Mandy keep going.

BFN

Julie X

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON

User

Posted 30 May 2015 at 20:51

We believe in you too; that's what friends do. Not a new life but a new normal - Mick would be so very proud of you x

Edited by member 30 May 2015 at 20:52 | Reason: Not specified

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User

Posted 30 May 2015 at 21:03

Hi Mo,
Glad you enjoyed your holiday. The concluding words of your post " I never thought I would or could say this but Life is Good, different yes, but still good", are words that I hope my wife will be able to say if I predecease her.

Barry

User

Posted 30 May 2015 at 21:04

Mandy,

Not only are you an inspiration to all of us I know that you are an inspiration for Mick. You have been so wonderfully determined to create as Lyn says a new normal without ever forgetting the trauma just under a year old. I will be thinking of you on Tuesday and I know you will cope and prosper!

User

Posted 30 May 2015 at 22:07

New normal has always been the way I have seen my new life. The old life is never forgotten, but there is a different life there, a purpose which seems missing in the early days resurfaces.

Well done, take care, Janet, x

User

Posted 30 May 2015 at 23:06

Really pleased you enjoyed your cruise and are able to enjoy your new life. It must be a really difficult step to take, so well done.

Paul

Stay Calm And Carry On.

User

Posted 31 May 2015 at 00:10

Hi Mo,

Welcome Home.

Steve x

User

Posted 31 May 2015 at 08:31

Hi Mo,

good to know all went well

atb

dave

All we can do - is do all that we can.

So, do all you can to help yourself, then make the best of your time. :-)

I am the statistic.

User

Posted 31 May 2015 at 08:39

Welcome home from me too. Really glad the holiday went well. I'm sure Mick was watching and glad for you.

Best Wishes

Sandra

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

User

Posted 31 May 2015 at 09:45

Sending my love,

Fiona. x

User

Posted 31 May 2015 at 21:42

Just a thought when my turn comes I hope that i can be as brave and as giving.

BFN

Julie x

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON

User

Posted 31 May 2015 at 22:13

Julie my SS

I am not brave far from it but I do have fortitude when I need it, I like to think I am a decent human being and if that makes me a better giver than receiver so be it.

When the time comes (and I am not thinkng that is anytime soon) You will deal with everything in the way that suits you the best, with humour and good grace and if you find that the going gets tough then you have me and everyone else here to help you along. Just as you were and still are here for me. That is what friends are for.

Now what brought that "moment" on my SS ...?
xxx
Mo

User

Posted 02 Jun 2015 at 07:36

Hi Mo,

Thinking of you today.

Steve x

User

Posted 02 Jun 2015 at 08:44

One year ago today i was dashing over to Lincoln to say goodbye to a dear friend.

Ness just posted this on facebook and i thought i would share it here

"A day tinged with joy and sadness today. 8 years ago I married a wonderful man who loved me completely, regardless of my faults and failings, (of which I have many) and who accepted that he wished to spend every day from that day fwd with me. To be someone's first love is special, but to be their last is priceless. And that is why it is so poignant, not only for me and Si but because a dear friend lost her soul mate and husband exactly 1 yr ago on our wedding anniversary. Today we can look bk at our wonderful memories, but also toast a very special man who meant the world to his family, especially his wife Mandy Amanda and daughter Karen x x x"

So tonight we will be out for a lovely meal and a few drinks to remember this great guy, Mo will have to play the O & X with the girls.

There will be memories and laughter and a few tears and i am sure Mick will be looking down saying That,s my girl.

Thinking of you today Mandy

Si x

Don't deny the diagnosis; try to defy the verdict

User

Posted 02 Jun 2015 at 09:21

hi mo

you are the strength some of us draw from

happy memories today

run long and prosper
'pooh how do you spell love'
'piglet you dont spell love -you just feel it'

User

Posted 02 Jun 2015 at 09:52

Hi, Mo,

Adding my love and thoughts,

Fiona xx

User

Posted 02 Jun 2015 at 15:33

thinking of you today Andyxx

User

Posted 02 Jun 2015 at 18:26

No matter that you have gotten on with your life so marvelously, today will bring back memories of all shades. Thinking of you, as I am sure you are of Mick.

Paul

Stay Calm And Carry On.

User

Posted 02 Jun 2015 at 18:52

In our thoughts Mo...can't believe it's a year ago

Take care

Bri

User

Posted 02 Jun 2015 at 20:25

Thinking of you today, Janet, xx

User

Posted 02 Jun 2015 at 20:48

Such a tough day for you Mo, I know you are resilient and forward thinking, but I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you today of all days.

Lots of love
Allison xxx

User

Posted 02 Jun 2015 at 20:56

Lots of love Chris & Dawn, see you soon.

User

Posted 02 Jun 2015 at 21:37

Gosh
got quite a lump in my throat ... just got in from a lovely meal with Si,Ness and the twins really to celebrate their wedding anniversary but also to raise a glass to Mick. Such amazing friends I am so lucky to have them close by.

I would like to say a huge thankyou to everyone for your lovely messages today, If I was clever like Si I would copy the post I put on my own FB page today. The basic message was for people who knew Mick wherever they are in the world to think of one thing that he did that made them laugh or smile and hold that thought for today. That has prompted some lovely pictures, funny stories and a whole day full of happy memories. I am not hurting today just thankful to have such amazing friends and family

THANK YOU

The support this forum has given me over the last 2 years (according to my profile I joined on 3/6/13) has been invaluable. I hope I can give some of that back in trying to help others.

xxx
Mo

User

Posted 02 Jun 2015 at 21:50

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

BFN

Julie X

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON

User

Posted 04 Jun 2015 at 09:36

Hi mo
Sorry, a little late but wish to send my love to you. To a very special person who is so giving to others on the forum.
Lesley xx

User

Posted 19 Jun 2015 at 00:16

So once again I find myself sitting here on the eve of the annual Mill on the Soar Leicester weekend actaully getting colly wobbles about going.... stupid really as I have been looking forward to it this year for ages. Last year it was just after the most amazing funeral service for Mick.

I can think back to all those who came, the lovely summer day, the pub wake and watching England play Uruguay in the world cup (badly) with the BBQ at my house until the small hours happy in the thought that Mick had an amazing send off. Then I think of Karen and I arriving at Leicester emotionally raw and wondering if we had done the right thing by coming... answer.. definitely it was the event that marked my starting over.

This year several more amazing people will be missing, Topgun aka Barrington Newman, Pete Wilshire, John Sherwood and although previously unable to make it to leicester Eric (weewifie) and Neil (Zarissa) we will all be thinking about you along with anyone else who has lost the fight against PCa either this year or in the years gone by.

This is one amazing community, I have met people through this forum that have changed my life and many who have helped me and my lovely step daughter Karen through a most difficult year. I thank every one of you
xx
Mo

User

Posted 19 Jun 2015 at 03:17

Don't wobble your collies - we are getting there on Friday evening to give you a hug.

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User

Posted 19 Jun 2015 at 08:40

Mandy you deserve the physical version of the cyber hugs you are always offering others.

Go and get them and give out some more of your sage advice in person. http://community.prostatecanceruk.org/editors/tiny_mce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-smile.gif

All the best

Sandra

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

User

Posted 19 Jun 2015 at 11:14

No Mandy don't Wobble your Collies up that pole that could be a disasterhttp://community.prostatecanceruk.org/editors/tiny_mce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-embarassed.gif.

I have been thinking of you today and I know that once you get there you will have a lovely time , have an extra glass from me and give everyone a hug from me. Take loads of pics so I can see everyone. Sadly I won't be able to be there as you all ready know the puppy situation has been a huge disappointment to say the least. The only surviving puppy needs my constant attentionhttp://community.prostatecanceruk.org/editors/tiny_mce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-embarassed.gif.

So advice from me is be careful up that pole, avoid any stray sheep and stay of the Harley but most of all have a great time.

BFN

Julie X

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON

User

Posted 19 Jun 2015 at 11:59

I think my colli wobbles are actually down to excitement rather than nerves, I am really looking forward to seeing people I have not seen for ages as well as those I see regularly. As for the pole dancing give me a break I have been going to the gym, trying all sorts of new stuff and some long forgotten ones too but pole dancing...really?

Riding on a Harley would not be a new experience for me I have done it a few times and for anyone who was a mod back in the day I have also ridden on a Lambretta and a Vespa (or was that one of those awful packet curry things?!!) I tried to be very middle of the road as a teenager, it was my opinion back then that if a bloke had automated wheels 2, 3 or 4 was a whole lot better than none and the alternative!

For those on their way to the event (Leicester guys not one of those other ones) or about to set out, safe travels, I am looking forwrad to seeing you all very much. For those who can't be there I am sure we will all miss you and be thinking of you.

Julie my SS I will try and remember to take photos in between drinking wine for the pair of us ..

xxx
Mo

User

Posted 19 Jun 2015 at 13:47

Have a wonderful time everyone
Georgina x

User

Posted 19 Jun 2015 at 14:10

I have got three live collies but I don't know if they wobble. Have a lovely time, Mo and thanks so much for your thoughts. I'm approaching week 4 of Bereavement Support Group at St Peter's Hospice, hard going but very helpful. The Hospice itself is amazing, Neil never got there but funnily enough it gives me a sense of peace and I will definately continue to support them, wonderful aftercare for bereaved families ! Give my love to all at the get together !

Fiona. xx

User

Posted 04 Jul 2015 at 22:04

Ok so mill on the soar went well, very well thanks George. I was excused pole dancing and Lyn did an awesome job with the poem.
I was so carried away I left my clothes there but that is another story. Karen bless her will rescue them on her way to stay with me next weekend.
24hrs after MOS i was off to France with my brother and sister in law to cycle in the vendee. I found another new interest one which has taken me totally by surprise.... bird watching (feathered type) what amazing creatures I have posted a few photos of the best ones on fb. I never thought that would appeal to me but it certainly has.
Food was pretty awesome too and of course the wine, not that I drink much!
Getting ready to support Siness in a bit of an adventure in two weeks time, turned my back for 5 mins and Julie goes and marries the tumeric prince ...wow congratulations SS when and where is the party?

So relieved that Bri and Lesley got home safely after their frightening experience in Tunisia too.

Lots of good news from others on the forum so that always cheers me up.

Had one or two more wobbly moments in France including a tearful and quite painful 5 minutes when I dropped into a ditch avoiding a pushy tractor driver. Bounced off a confident "I can get through this gap" standing in pedals pose to perineum crunch with one foot in the ditch one in moments ouch!!! Didn't stop me completing our daily ride and better still I didn't actually fall off.

Will aim to do further, better etc next year.

All in all life is good

Xx
Mo

User

Posted 04 Jul 2015 at 22:38

Hi Mo,

Welcome home.

Hope you're not too saddle sore.

Steve x

User

Posted 04 Jul 2015 at 22:51

We've birdwatched for years Mo.
We have the gear, the expensive binocs, the telecope etc. We thoroughly enjoy it BUT we can never remember what birds we are looking at.
It must be an age thing.
We've even been on a proper course which was great but the memory, ah well it ain't was it was.
Still, it gets us out into the country and waterways.

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

User

Posted 04 Jul 2015 at 23:07

Lovely post SS, SO glad that you are home safe and sound the bird pics on FB are fab who would have thought a couple of party girls would enjoy bird watching , I honestly loved the pics we have the most awesome Barn Owl that flies over the Bungalow every evening he flies so low that you can see his face. Life in the fast lane http://community.prostatecanceruk.org/editors/tiny_mce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-kiss.gif

I just want to second a welcome home to Bri and Lesley.

We were a bit sneaky with the Big Day we haven't told anyone yet, in fact you Guys are the first to be in on the secret but I know that I can trust you all not to blabhttp://community.prostatecanceruk.org/editors/tiny_mce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-kiss.gif . We just didn't want a fuss so just sneaked of very quietly .

We have had a chat so I do understand how tricky that saddle has been, they do have a tendency to make your eyes water.http://community.prostatecanceruk.org/editors/tiny_mce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-kiss.gif.

So glad you are home.

BFN

Julie X

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON

User

Posted 05 Jul 2015 at 16:46

Lovely to hear you so upbeat Mandy.

France sounded wonderful perhaps a tick for us on our future destination planner

We will see you in two weeks at the party in the park

Take care

Bri x

User

Posted 05 Jul 2015 at 19:24

So glad you had a good time Mo but what's all this bird watching lark. A shot of zoladex would soon put paid to that

Looking forward to seeing you soon. Over 400 tickets sold and two weeks to go

Si xx

Don't deny the diagnosis; try to defy the verdict

User

Posted 05 Jul 2015 at 20:50

So glad u had a lovely time , apart from the unsaddling. Elaine and I are very keen amateur twitchers. We live in the new forest so we regularly see all woodpeckers , birds of prey etc. Our greatest scoop was a goldcrest which are quite rare. Our garden used to be full of goldfinch which are beautiful. One day right outside our kitchen window in a hanging basket was a wren. Gosh they truly are the prettiest cutest little bird and rarely seen so close.
Maybe one day I'll have the guts to meet some of u at an event.
Best wishes Chris x

User

Posted 05 Jul 2015 at 21:09

Thanks friends
Most of the men here will have had serious ouch moments during diagnosis and treatment for PCa and now I understand a little bit of how much that hurts. My cycling injury is sore, aching even you all have my upmost sympathy and now empathy ...ouch

The newly found enjoyment of bird watching was worth it though.

Si I know I am pretty nifty with a Bbq but am I on my own cooking 400 + burgers and sausages? Are Bri and Lesley on cooking drill?

Going to be a lot of fun at party in the park.

Just wanted to say well done to everyone raising money for PCUK under the summer men utd campaign. Lots of different initiatives big respect for you all.

Best wishes to you all for a warm and sunny July.
Xx
Mo

User

Posted 05 Jul 2015 at 22:53

I'm on bar duty ;-)

User

Posted 05 Jul 2015 at 22:56

John is our resident bird expert Mo so I have him checking your FB labels just to be sure. Judging from the photos you had good weather so I am hoping it will hold out for a couple of weeks until we get there (with 3 bicycles, a fancy twitchers' camera and binoculars) :-)

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User

Posted 05 Jul 2015 at 23:52

A twitcher and binoculars Lyn. ? sounds a bit Iffy to me http://community.prostatecanceruk.org/editors/tiny_mce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-wink.gif

BFN

Julie X

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON

User

Posted 06 Jul 2015 at 17:37

I took up birdwatching between my cricket and golf lives when the kids were small. We must spend a small fortune in food. This year we have been blessed with woodpeckers continually visiting. Bullfinches and gold finches are common visitors. Now my OH has retired, I expect we shall have days out especially in the winter.

Paul

Stay Calm And Carry On.

User

Posted 06 Jul 2015 at 20:12

Paul ,
Bullfinch ? Saw one once in my garden in the winter. STUNNING Never since. Greater spotted peckers which are lovely. We had endless birds then they disappeared. But no cats ? And we have gud food. We just think better food elsewhere tbh

User

Posted 06 Jul 2015 at 21:49

Maybe this is off topic, but Red Barn coconuts really attract the birds. Gardman coconuts don't get touched.

Paul

Stay Calm And Carry On.

User

Posted 06 Jul 2015 at 22:12

No-one touches my coconuts either

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User

Posted 20 Dec 2015 at 20:22

This morning at early oclock (before 5 am) I woke up feeling really sad, it was the realisation that today would have been mine and Mick's 24th wedding anniversary. All those years ago we had a very hurried together day, the registry office at Selby with our best friends Jackie and Alan as our witnesses, nobody else at all. Mick's mum was dying of lung cancer and she had told us she wanted to see us married before she died. She was too sick to travel so we invited nobody other than Jackie and Alan. Then I also realised as this year comes to a close that this has been my first whole year without him.

The sadness was intense but thankfully brief, I can look back on a year of emotional highs and lows but it has been a year in which I have grown, in ability, capability, confidence and just in life itself.

I could not have done this without my amazing friends and family, some friends on this forum have been nothing short of awesome. The inclusion in events in their lives their constant encouragement and unwavering friendship.

So I just wanted to say thankyou to you all and to wish every one of you a very merry Christmas. i hope for you all that the New year brings good health and happiness.

my very best wishes to you all
xxx
Mo

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