Morning Steve.
Things definitely seem worse at night time.
We did not sleep for months after diagnosis.
Everything that Lyn has said I agree with, but there are bad days, as you describe.
Unless they have been through it themselves, people do not know what to say about cancer. We did not tell many people, as some days we don't want to be asked "how we are?".
Those posters do not sound very helpful though!
We look at photos now, taken before dx and say "must have had it then and had no idea". Like you the night time weeing started ages ago - but we put it down to a weak bladder, normal ageing or too much wine that evening!
We too question why we did not go sooner for checks, but in our case I was having IVF so if we had found my OHs cancer earlier, we would not have had our now 2 year old boy. Its quite a consideration. So when we feel bad - we remember that.
We do focus and hope we are going to get a cure, and take strength that we are in that camp. As discussed before the 50/50 chance was mentioned to us by the onco.
In terms of work, we ran a large business with 100 staff and motivating ourselves was difficult. For us with the 2 children (it was a hotel so 24 hours evenings/weekends included!) we were lucky and had a good offer to sell, so we did. My OH misses the work and needs something else to focus on (the 2 children for now) so we moved away and starting the fresh life that we had dreamt about, but this will not suit everyone!
I know it must be difficult for you to focus now on photographing other peoples weddings etc, when they seem unimportant, but you will feel better and focused in time. We were in your position in late 2011 and just decided to start living life more for the day and doing the things we wanted to do.
I hope that I haven't spoken too much about myself here, I don't usually, but hope that it can help you.
As dx is so similar, interesting to chat to you, and if we can help each other all the better!
And as for these people with their comments about so-and-so who is better now....I have found that others know very little about this disease (even some medical professionals not in the field)...and they are best ignored. Others just want to know that people are fine now...so they don't have to think about it any more. Unfortunately this will never be an option for us.
But on the other hand, any of could be run over by a bus tomorrow.
Have a better day.
Alison x