I think that you are both still in shock from the diagnosis. I would like to say that these sorts of feelings go away, but they don't - however, things do get better and more bearable.
You are still at a difficult point of the process, awaiting RT and all that entails, wondering how it will go and if it will work.
I understand and agree with everything that you say in your last post, as we have felt exactly the same.
Isn't it sod's law that your wife's operation has come up at this difficult time? I was in a similar situation under different circumstances (C section planned) and I myself worried that something awful may happen to me whilst under anaesthetic. I think that this crosses most peoples minds who are having an op, especially with your wifes previous sad experience. It is natural, she is probably feeling vulnerable at the moment and so worried for you that she has given up on herself!! I am sure that she will feel better once her op is out of the way. It will be a difficult few weeks with mobility issues, lots of appointments for you both and no doubt a busy wedding season to juggle with too.
I think your fitness regime will really help with the weight maintenance and any inklings of depression that you may be feeling. Make the most of the good weather whilst it lasts!
I know what you mean about Robin Williams. What a sad story about all the depression/addictions that he was battling. I must admit that now whenever a middle aged man passes away I look to see if it was Ca related, and if it was PCa it really upsets me. It just shows that we never really know what is going on in other peoples lives. He didn't have Cancer and he died of something completely different.
Emotions are certainly running high though for all of us suffering this disease. No-one else can really understand and we cant expect them to really.
One thing that it does do though is put things in perspective and highlight what is really important in life. Things we used to really stress about seem so unimportant now and we wasted so much time worrying about them!
As for your Oncos letter, a G7 is classed as medium risk generally I think but they all seem to have their own view on it. It is important to find a positive onco and believe what he/she says!!
I know that we too hang on every word that the medical professionals say afterall our trust is in them.
Always a good idea to have a clear out I find and makes you feel better afterwards! (perhaps this is a woman thing as my hubbie is a real hoarder). Material items just don't mean the same now. What is important is time with friends and family at every opportunity.
We have just arrived in Mallorca now for a 2 week break. Was a stressful journey but hoping for a relaxing 2 weeks! We did not have any hols (or feel like them) until well after the RT finished as our hearts were not in it, hence this reply is a bit disjointed as I am trying to do it between other jobs!
I wish you all the best for your wifes op next week and hope you are feeling a little better. Could ramble on for hours but got a 2 year old to settle!!
Edited by member 13 Aug 2014 at 21:30
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