Kev,
Yes you're right, I don't know what it's like to be in the incurable camp. But I have had doubts about whether my treatment plan was working for me sometimes though and my Onco told me that because of G5 it's likely that I might face recurrence.
The important thing for me is that having been dx'd I have taken the opportunity of looking at life again and trying to ensure I make the best of it. If there any benefits from having cancer then for me that is top. I have had conversations with my wife about all sorts of things and we've cleared the air over many unsaid issues. That has helped us both enormously. I value each day as best I can.
I saw our friend with incurable cancer 2 weeks ago. She said that I was the only one she knew that she could talk openly too as I had cancer. None of her other close friends have been inflicted by this disease. She worries about her husband and his chances of survival from recurrent Pca. She's a GP and is well versed in cancer matters but finds it very strange seeing it from the personal and not professional side.
She worries about her daughter's in their mid twenties after she/they go. She knew I understood what she was talking about. I told her that we had already offered support to her family and she thanked me for that, saying that already a great weight had lifted from her.
We spoke about the feeling of isolation and how for her it's even worse because of her husbands position. They don't want to upset each other and live almost in a bubble, treading around each other's emotions. They are trying to be very positive and doing as much together as possible whilst they can.
She thinks too that this site is great and encouraged her Pca patients to join but her husband has refused to. There's nothing like this for women with her cancer she said and that she's envious of what we have here. She just feels incredibly lonely and scared. She has no one to turn to regarding her condition as we can online here.
One person who I see each week whilst at my one day work I started this year has Pca too . When he found out about me we discussed in private where we are. He's just come off HT having had RT. He looked at me and said "I bet you've been to places you never knew existed- I know I have ". A bond has formed between us, just a nod or a knowing look if conversation with others there turns to medical matters. And it helps.
John