So in similar words of the great Nikkon Steve, Today is an important day as I am 50.
5 months ago my wife asked what I was doing for my 50th and at that time 50 was just another number, I had plenty more to follow and as nothing was changing I was not that fussed.
Now of course this birthday has significance as with my realistic prognosis this needs to be my 50th, 60th, 70th, 80th and all those in between too only without the special events that go with or around getting older (retirement, grandchildren, kids special birthdays, weddings, graduations etc).
So today I have a good day planned with by best mate, brother and wives (all our wives not multiple for my brother!) but it will be hard not to get sucked into what will probably not be in the years to come.
I know that right now I am in lucky in so far as I feel ok, chemo has so far been kind (too kind perhaps, is the dose not strong enough), I ran 16 miles yesterday in training for the Brighton marathon in 7 weeks, have raised £14k so far for PC UK in the process (which makes me feel it's worthwhile as it may help others) and still have a normal life much of the time but dark thoughts are never that far away.
Reading most posts on this forum I can see that there is both hope and sadness and even with the hope goes much pain and effort along the way. I hope that like many others that staying fit and having an improved diet it will give me the best outcome however I can see that there are no guarantees.
So today is an important day, it will be a good day but due to the PC will have more significance, it may help me enjoy it more of course as time, especially feeling good time is not to be wasted ever again.
Thanks for reading if you got this far, Kev