For me, personally, the most difficult time was the early stages and kind of getting my head around the situation I found myself in.
At the start of it all, I greatly feared post-operative incontinence and hey-ho, I'm back at work, almost (I'd say about 95%) dry and using about one, level one (the thin ones), pad a day to catch the odd squirt when I move in certain ways.
A big part of the emotional difficulty of this beastly thing is quite simply the 'fear of the unknown'. Sometimes - perhaps even quite often - the journey isn't as bad as you might fear it to be at the beginning of it all.
I do agree waiting for results can be agonising. I had to wait a tad over nine weeks for the histology from my op, and that nearly drove me up the wall. I felt every single aspect of my whole life, at home, at work, and everywhere else, was "on hold" waiting for this one appointment and what I might be told. Actually, whilst what I got told wasn't totally great, it wasn't nearly as bad as it might have been.
I fully understand that all the potential fears will be magnified for you due to recently losing your wife, but do try to stay reasonably positive about it all. Doing so will really help you on this rather challenging journey.
Every Best Wish.