I tried a different approach today.  After I came home from golf, having eaten nothing since breakfast, I took a sidenafil tablet, had a shower, and we engaged in some fun.  
I still can't manage enough of a stir for intercourse, but the most embarrassing thing is the uncontrolable  although relatively small amount of leakage that occurs.  My OH, and I can understand why, finds it a real turn off, although if things keep improving, maybe we'll accomplish something more worthwhile, wearing a condom.
I am finding it harder to climax as well, so my OH has suggested the shower in the morning again, especially as there was a significant response with no tablet the last time. The other advantage is, of course, we'd both be less aware of unwanted leakages.
We'll keep trying - we're only just over a year post op and in a good place.
Paul