Originally Posted by: Online Community Member
I’m not terrified but just simply dreading moving on after 4 1/2 yrs full recovery post op. It feels so surreal as I feel so fine and am living a totally normal life in every way.I was told HT would be for the rest of my life and after reading all your stories it just haunts me that my life will change forever again. And then whether to have Chemo up front or not. My mental stability is dodgy at the best of times , and work is so important to me as is my love life. Just scared guys and very sad.
Ah CJ, you will already have worked out that I have been hesitating to reply because I don't know how to word it without hurting you. But honestly, I have never seen a man come on here and say "hi, I've just been diagnosed but my life is already tihs so I am really looking forward to having hormones" and only very rarely have I seen anyone post "my work and love life is irrelevant so bring it on." I guess what I am saying is that your perception that you are somehow different isn't correct; the only difference is that you are more capable of verbalising your fears and less hung up on the 'stiff upper lip' than some.
You were fragile when you first joined us; you were fragile and very resistant to RP but survived; you were extremely wobbly when you first realised that the RP that you hadn't wanted had failed; you have survived all these things that your head was telling you were unsurvivable. And you will survive this as well. No one is going to force you to have chemo if you don't want it - going onto HT means your job should be unaffected and as I have told you many times, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOUR LIBIDO!!! Not everyone loses it - Alathays had regular HT and a number of the big hitting drugs when they were still trials and continued to have great sex almost right up to the end. It is your way to think and anticipate the worst, I get that, but as our old friend Spurspark used to say, dead men don't have sex. And interestingly, some of these old heroes of the forum who outlived and out-played all predictions for their cancer (Alathays, Spurspark, Nimeniton, Old Al, TopGun, Candyman, Trevor, Devonmaid's husband) only had chemo towards the end if at all - Si_Ness was really the first person on here to have early chemo and that was only about 5 years ago - so while there is research to suggest that it helps, deciding not to have it is no big deal.
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard
If life gives you lemons , then make lemonade