Oh no not him again I hear you say . The aftermath of me cancelling the surgery at the pre-op assessment had repercussions obviously. The phone never stopped ringing , so I turned it off and buried my head in the sand.
Friday was a new day and I felt ashamed. Elaine was giving me " that look" that you ladies learn aged 4 . My mum and dad were angry , and a few friends that know me were quite shocked also . So I felt bad. I texted the nurse specialist to say sorry and also my surgery and also my mental health psychiatrist who had all tried to contact me worried.
Since I retired , I read with young children at my little boys school twice a week. On Friday morning my sons teacher grabbed me and wished me luck. And when I read with the children Friday afternoon they gave me a HUGE card with each child's picture and good luck message. I felt such a fraud. Elaine and I went to our village at 4pm and the surgeon rang . He was lovely and not mad like I thought . He asked how we both were . He said there had been another MDT meeting that day , and they insisted the operation was the only way. He promised he would do everything in his power to heal me but also keep my functions ok . He basically said the slot on Monday was still available , and Elaine said yes before I could - and gave me "that look".
And just now on Sunday afternoon he has called to see if im ok and still on track ( nice in his own time tbh ). Minor concern as I missed the blood test on Thurs re my dodgy adrenal function , but he said I should be ok ( my adrenal lumps still need looking at ).
So YES tomorrow is the big day -- Hand Laproscopic radical prostatectomy , with bladder work and Lymph removal . I suppose in the end I didn't have the choice , but did the "right thing". Either that or be shamed or die . So i'll be in contact Tuesday hopefully if all goes well.
We cant thank everyone enough for your input and kindness. And reading posts from the past .
On a lighter note its been amazing having sex virtually every day for 4 weeks ! I'm just dreading Elaine finding out ;-)
Chris