Well, this certainly hasn't been the day I was expecting it to be!
Since my operation last Saturday I've been unable to have a bowel movement. The hospital sent me home with laxatives and said that constipation was a normal side-effect of the morphine and codeine I've been on. Up until this morning, lots of urges to go, but the result was nothing but copious amounts of wind (which I was told was a good thing, because it shows my bowels were working OK.
This morning rolls around. Sudden desperate need to move my bowels, but everything locked up solid. Unbelievable pain - when I "strain" it pulls directly on the abdominal muscles that were cut during my kidney operation, and the pain of that had me on the verge of blacking out. No choice but to phone 999. They said I'd done absolutely the right thing and an ambulance showed up about 15 minutes later to cart me off to the local A&E, which was an absolute madhouse - people lying on trolleys in the corridors, etc.
After about 7h of being wheeled in and out of cubicles and explaining the same thing at least half a dozen times, about 7:30pm they sent me to the CDU ward who do more complicated stuff than A&E and they gave me an enema. Talk about a blessed relief! Flood gates opened and unbelievable amounts of poo duly emerged.
Just got home a very happy man. I really hope that things stay working as the should do now that the blockage has been relieved. I'm going to stay on the laxatives for a few days to make sure.