So... a little update. I'm now 2 weeks and a day past my RARP and 1 week and a day past my TWOC.
The surgeon was very pleased with the way the operation went and even though we had a recap on his reservations about nerve sparing, in my case it turned out that I was one of the fortunate ones where the neurovascular bundles just fall away from the prostate without any intervention. One side he left intact and he took a little of the other bundle (on the side where I was 4+3). It also helped that I used the 3-4 month wait for surgery to lose about 12-13 kg of lard and clear the way for him.
Home next day feeling like an elephant had stomped on my guts. Lifetime supply of laxatives provided along with 2 pairs of TED socks to squeeze into for 28 days and 30 clexane pre-filled syringes to jab into what little love handle I've got left (looking like a bruised pin cushion), along with 6 night bags and a useless stand (use a bucket).
The catheter and leg bag were just grim - constantly wondering "Is it full? Has the line kinked? Is it tugging?" I honed an excellent skill set of showering and toileting with bag and I hope never to use those skills again. I had got myself some instillagel just in case but I'm relieved (ha!) that I didn't need to use it. Very grateful to this forum for tipping me off about the catheter bypass that accompanies a bowel movement, at least I wasn't parked there in a panic thinking "OMG that can't be right!!".
More than anything it's the incontinence post-TWOC that gets me down. I was dry at night from the first night - delighted to wake up in the dark and think "I need to go" rather than to find that I already had gone. But daytime it's a different story. I can sneeze without fear but even just relaxing at home there are odd drips and leaks at random. If I try just a short walk outside on the flat, say just a mile, I'm leaking like crazy - drip, drip, dribble every step. I'm probably expecting too much, but I'm not going to lie, it's really getting me down.
Between diagnosis and operation I think I've been on a pretty even keel mentally but the operation itself (it's my first ever) really woke me up to the reality that I have cancer (fingers crossed "had" but there's no guarantee) that really has brought tears.
Pain and swelling very much reduced and strength is returning. Now it's just the wait for the verdict from histopathology.