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Some success with the pump

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User
Posted 30 Aug 2023 at 23:15

I'ts now been eight months since my prostate was removed (3+4 T2b) and i'm virtually incontinence free. Still working the pelvic floor muscles each day with the Squeezy app which has proved to be very helpfull. Feeling quite a bit more confident generally after going through a period of feeling very down and pushing myself to work towards more positive outcomes in everyway.

I have persevered with the Soma erect 2 pump and Cialis tablets and found that if i take one 20mg tablet, pump and apply two rings, i have quite a good firm erection. Have been able to masturbate and even managed intercourse for the first time which was a success for my wife and myself. The feeling of a dry orgasm was on another level to be honest, very sensitive in a lot of ways. Natural erections seem to be way off but with determination and being patient, appear to be making some progress.

The hinge effect is different but with a guiding hand you can eventually get the hang of things. Libido is very low but i don't now let that rule my life as it was just dragging me down all the time. Coming to terms with new ways of moving forward has been like starting all over again and i fully intend to live life and enjoy it as much as possible.

Best advice i was given was "Walk before you run" and so far this has helped me get where i am today. Sure there will be testing times but i feel perseverence is slowly paying off.

The one main thing i feel i have learned from this whole shitty experience is compassion, being able to listen and share events, feelings, experiences with people which has really helped me and i hope helped others too.

 

 

 

 

User
Posted 30 Aug 2023 at 23:15

I'ts now been eight months since my prostate was removed (3+4 T2b) and i'm virtually incontinence free. Still working the pelvic floor muscles each day with the Squeezy app which has proved to be very helpfull. Feeling quite a bit more confident generally after going through a period of feeling very down and pushing myself to work towards more positive outcomes in everyway.

I have persevered with the Soma erect 2 pump and Cialis tablets and found that if i take one 20mg tablet, pump and apply two rings, i have quite a good firm erection. Have been able to masturbate and even managed intercourse for the first time which was a success for my wife and myself. The feeling of a dry orgasm was on another level to be honest, very sensitive in a lot of ways. Natural erections seem to be way off but with determination and being patient, appear to be making some progress.

The hinge effect is different but with a guiding hand you can eventually get the hang of things. Libido is very low but i don't now let that rule my life as it was just dragging me down all the time. Coming to terms with new ways of moving forward has been like starting all over again and i fully intend to live life and enjoy it as much as possible.

Best advice i was given was "Walk before you run" and so far this has helped me get where i am today. Sure there will be testing times but i feel perseverence is slowly paying off.

The one main thing i feel i have learned from this whole shitty experience is compassion, being able to listen and share events, feelings, experiences with people which has really helped me and i hope helped others too.

 

 

 

 

User
Posted 31 Aug 2023 at 12:45
Great news and yes, the voyage of discovery is almost like losing your virginity all over again. Personally I much prefer the dry orgasm, as does my wife, but whatever you do, don't try 'wife on top' - it doesn't work and I was advised of this beforehand but thought we would give it a go - silly me!

Don't worry about the natural erection yet - if they saved the nerves then they will still have taken a beating and will need a few months to recover.

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User
Posted 31 Aug 2023 at 10:46

Thanks for the update Mal. Most posts on this forum are quite rightly people trying to get a solution to a problem, hence readers get a biased view that everything to do with this disease is problems. Posts like yours which just explain the reality of living with the disease and treatment give a much more balanced view.

For anyone thinking prostatectomy is a case of whip it out and straight back to normal, then clearly that is not the case. Also for anyone who thinks getting this disease and having treatment for this disease will be the end of life as they know it, that is also clearly not the case.

The reality is, things will be hard and things will be soft in equal measure, but none of it will be insurmountable.

Dave

User
Posted 31 Aug 2023 at 12:29

One thing I will add is the journey of discovery. I certainly went into my treatment a bit gung-ho. The main priority at the onset was getting rid of the cancer. QoL took a back seat - No one knows the extent of the incontinence and the ED. If the treatment is successful, attention is now focused on the attendant issues of ED and Incontinence. 

There is also the double whammy of some wives entering into menopause. Husbands are quietly grieving the loss of their "manhood" and some wives suffering from the onset of menopause. This combination can lead to an unhappy home that needs a lot of tact and patience to unpick. 

The journey is slow and laborious, and you could have weeks and months that nothing significant happens.

User
Posted 31 Aug 2023 at 12:45
Great news and yes, the voyage of discovery is almost like losing your virginity all over again. Personally I much prefer the dry orgasm, as does my wife, but whatever you do, don't try 'wife on top' - it doesn't work and I was advised of this beforehand but thought we would give it a go - silly me!

Don't worry about the natural erection yet - if they saved the nerves then they will still have taken a beating and will need a few months to recover.

User
Posted 31 Aug 2023 at 14:06

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member
but whatever you do, don't try 'wife on top' - it doesn't work and I was advised of this beforehand but thought we would give it a go - silly me!

How do you mean does not work?

User
Posted 31 Aug 2023 at 21:31

To be honest Dave and thank you for your kind comments, i was rightly given information from everyone involved once diagnosed with prostate cancer but found i just couldn't process it at all ie: this isn't happening to me, why, how, what did i do wrong, everything goes through your head at the time and you genuinly feel helpless. 

My turning point was a couple of months ago at a music festival and the norm, drinks, cuddles, laughs just wasn't hitting home on this occasion and i just broke down in front of our friends. Everything hit home all at once and it really broke me.

After a few days of thinking what had happend that weekend, i realised this is it and you can only make things better being the new you. Its going to take more time than i realised but i am determined to have fun, laugh and just kick life into gear. 

im not the type to volunteer for anything but if anyone wanted to talk, ask any questions about this journey, then i am more than happy to talk anytime. We all take similar journeys and i feel its about finding your positives.

Edited by member 31 Aug 2023 at 21:44  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 31 Aug 2023 at 21:39

Gee, very true indeed. My wife has for years told me the menopause had changed her completely and, being a bloke, could never understand this at all. As much as you try you won't get it until something as crap as this gives you a taster of lack of libido, moods changing eratically etc.

Don't get me wrong, i'm not comparing at all but i am understanding more and we are both working to help each other when one of us is having a moment, a wobble, a low and being there for each other as much as possible. Or just giving each other space if that helps.

User
Posted 01 Sep 2023 at 07:10
Mal just a couple of points on the technicalities of post RP erections. Cialis should not make a difference to your ability to create an erection with the pump and constriction rings so if you get any side effects from it don't feel you have to take it.

Regarding natural erections it's still early days yet, I found the low dose sily ciallis helped with recovery primarily because it restored spontaneous "semis" that started me on a journey of discovery by way of injectables, insertables and rubonables! 8 years on this has culminated with a "normal" sex life that only requires a cock ring that was my ultimate salvation!

User
Posted 01 Sep 2023 at 19:14

Hi francij1, yes understand this now as i found out recently. The Cialis tablets seemed to add a little bit of fizz to the moment but then i ventured into trying without the tablets and was pleasantly surprised. 

Im slowly coming to terms with the possibility natural erections will take some time, maybe years if it happens and am currently quite content with how things are moving forward. The consultant mentioned nerve sparing was good so fingers crossed.

Must admit, the first time i tried one of the Cialis tablets, i had a banging headache and the trots for about two days. Fortunately that only happened once so onward and upward as they say 😉

User
Posted 01 Sep 2023 at 21:18

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member

Hi francij1, yes understand this now as i found out recently. The Cialis tablets seemed to add a little bit of fizz to the moment but then i ventured into trying without the tablets and was pleasantly surprised. 

 

I did actually noticed the elections are a lot stronger with Cialis plus the VED.

i

User
Posted 01 Sep 2023 at 22:41
Probably easier to pump up with all those vessels relaxed but You would still get there eventually with the pump. It may also be you have more natural capability than you think, in which case the pills will help.
User
Posted 02 Sep 2023 at 09:09

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member
but whatever you do, don't try 'wife on top' - it doesn't work and I was advised of this beforehand but thought we would give it a go - silly me!

How do you mean does not work?

I hope I can explain this sufficiently...
With the ring on the base of the penis, it creates a hinge effect. The penis is supported by her hand to guide it in but with the movement getting more and more exciting, at some point the penis pulls out until just the head is inside and when she starts the downward movement and is slightly contracted, the penis bends at the hinge point, you scream in agony and she jumps off thinking she has done some serious damage.
Well, we did have a laugh about it later, but that position is ticked off the list forever LOL

User
Posted 02 Sep 2023 at 09:31

Funny enough I have tried the wife ontop without much thought and I was fine. Now, after your experience, I might not try that position again. 😀

User
Posted 03 Sep 2023 at 18:45

Regards her ladyship going on top, after reading this thats going to be shelved for some time!

 

Edited by member 04 Sep 2023 at 20:27  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 06 Sep 2023 at 20:24

An excellent thread showing how to adapt after prostate cancer. Like all methods of dealing with ED, VEDs are not ideal but having been using this option for 12 years we feel that their benefits need to be explored further. Just to add to this thread, readers may like to read about our experience in the following link:

https://community.prostatecanceruk.org/posts/t28948-Re-establishing-Sex-Life

 'Physics is like sex: sure, it may give some practical results, but that’s not why we do it.'                    Richard Feynman (1918-1988) Nobel Prize laureate

 

 

 
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