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Re-establishing sex life and Natural erections

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User
Posted 02 Oct 2024 at 13:17

Hey everyone…I’ve been keeping up with posts but not had any words of wisdom to contribute, so just an update and a couple of questions

Steve coming up 9 months post RARP. It feels like it’s been a slog on the side effects recovery situation.  Firstly incontinence, still using two level 3 pads a day plus one at night (so an improvement from 3 day pads) and we hope it will continue to improve; it’s very slow! he will see urology team early next year to see if it is improving.

Re the other big side effect, ED….absolutely no sign of ‘natural’ activity down there yet.  Prescribed the somaerect pump a month ago and using that just for penile health at the moment (not tried the rings yet…building up to it); also prescribed sildenefil 8 tablets per month, (event dose) told initially to cut them in half to 50g dose, tried a couple at that dose but no effect; will try the 100g dose next

Anyone have any experience (success or not) of these? 

Also, those two years plus post RARP, did anyone have their natural erections return? Steve was 75-80% nerve sparing (full on one side)

We know there are the injections too and although wouldn’t rule them out completely, don’t feel ready for those at this stage!

 

User
Posted 02 Oct 2024 at 16:34

I’ve struggled with the Somaerect for penile health TBH. I’ve tried every combination of cylinder sizes, inserts and so on and I don’t find any of them work well for me. I’ve tried everything! I find it very uncomfortable to use and not particularly effective. One time I gave myself a huge bruise as my skin got caught up between the cyclinders….Ouch! I’ve come to the conclusion that if you’re a grower rather than a shower it’s not very good…..I’m the former, maybe someone can answer about the latter. At best I can get a semi(60%) but it takes a lot of effort, and it’s fiddly to use with cylinders within cylinders and rubber inserts which all require cleaning.

I thought I would try a pump advertised on eBay for £9.99 and find it so much better, probably because it’s the correct size for a grower…..and the pump action is excellent. The somaerect rings don’t slide off as easily as it has a lip but for rehab I find it much better. Only had it a week though so don’t know how long it will last. Works instantly.

Edited by member 02 Oct 2024 at 16:35  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 02 Oct 2024 at 20:00

Ha ha! We certainly do Adrian!

right back at you:

Our sex life is currently dead

as Steve’s manhood won’t rise in our bed

the pills are no good and the pump is a dud

so we’ll watch the football instead

 

(we are mad footy fans btw, season ticket holders…..but the sex used to fill the time close of season!!!)

 

Edited by member 02 Oct 2024 at 20:01  | Reason: Sp

User
Posted 02 Oct 2024 at 20:40

🀣🀣🀣
Being able to have a laugh about your circumstances is so important on this journey to keep you sane!

I had a real chuckle at your verses.🀣🀣🀣

User
Posted 02 Oct 2024 at 13:46

Hi, its lovely to hear from you again.

Non nerving sparing here. 18 months, post op, dead as a Dodo below. The only time I get a semi is when straining for a poo which is not ideal as foreplay. Not allowed ED tablets, but Invicorp does the trick. 80% as good as naturals. I know you say it's early, but I'd give it a shot. Is Steve still suffering from leaking when aroused?

Edited by member 02 Oct 2024 at 13:53  | Reason: Typo

User
Posted 02 Oct 2024 at 15:04

Thanks for the reply Chris, I think we will push for the tadalafil after a couple more months of the sildenafil if no improvement! And it seems we need a bit more patience too (never my strong point!).  Apart from the usual 3 monthly testing worry, we do feel very grateful and lucky so far that the cancer seemed to have been contained but it’s like Maslow’s hierarchy of needs…once your basic needs are met, (you’re still alive!) you do want to move up and aspire to bigger things!  When you’re first diagnosed, you just want to be cured no matter the side effects, but when that bits over, living with those side effects becomes the issue!

I do appreciate that for now, others are going through much worse.

User
Posted 02 Oct 2024 at 15:34

Hi

I suffered from incontinence and ED following my prostatectomy. After about 3 months I regained 99.9% continence (tend to leak when squatting or sexually excited and at orgasm). I had nerve sparing surgery but didn't have much luck with natural erections. Because of my age my erections were waining anyway. So we had to deal with both the side effects. We opted for a VED (Somaerect and rings). It takes getting used but now we rely entirely on VEDs with ring/s for our sex life. Obviously it is not ideal but with determination, imagination and adaption we have re-established our sex life. There are unintended benefits to our approach; you may like to look at my contribution to this forum at the following link:

https://community.prostatecanceruk.org/posts/t28948-Re-establishing-Sex-Life

If you private message me I can give you more help on how to use a pump and ring/s successfully.

Edited by member 02 Oct 2024 at 15:44  | Reason: Not specified

 'Physics is like sex: sure, it may give some practical results, but that’s not why we do it.'                    Richard Feynman (1918-1988) Nobel Prize laureate

 

 

User
Posted 02 Oct 2024 at 17:40

DJC, even though I was non nerve sparring I did get some movement or stirrings a few months after surgery.i was prescribed daily 100 mg of sildenafil. Sadly I never did recover any full swelling without the aid of injections. 

 We did master the  technique of flaccid insertion/ intercourse. We just need to keep the windows shut. Ten years on I still get the odd surprise and that tingling in the testicles. As someone else said I also get a reasonable amount of swelling if straining to pass a motion.

Never give up trying to find a solution and have fun , experiment and think outside the box. 

Thanks Chris 

User
Posted 02 Oct 2024 at 18:46

Hi again.

I know that you two have good sense of humour.

I wrote this limerick about 'my condition'.

 

Having no natural erections.

I resorted to penile injections.

The wife, with a grin.

Said, "I 'think" it's gone in."

Restoring our sexual connections.

πŸ™‚

Edited by member 02 Oct 2024 at 19:45  | Reason: Typo

Show Most Thanked Posts
User
Posted 02 Oct 2024 at 13:46

Hi, its lovely to hear from you again.

Non nerving sparing here. 18 months, post op, dead as a Dodo below. The only time I get a semi is when straining for a poo which is not ideal as foreplay. Not allowed ED tablets, but Invicorp does the trick. 80% as good as naturals. I know you say it's early, but I'd give it a shot. Is Steve still suffering from leaking when aroused?

Edited by member 02 Oct 2024 at 13:53  | Reason: Typo

User
Posted 02 Oct 2024 at 14:31
Nine months post surgery is very early !! Use the pump for rehab as much as possible. I still use mine 9 years on πŸ˜€. After 12 months I asked for Tadalafil ( Cialis) as a daily 5 mg dose taken at night. It stays in your blood more and leaves a background level. It was a game changer for me. In a week I was warmer down there and soon some morning stiffness returned. With that and the pump and occasional injections ( Invicorp ) things were getting back to normal. At the 2 year mark I was getting natural erections and a simple cock-ring turned a 70% into a 95% πŸ˜€. Things can improve up to 3 years and beyond. Sadly I was then deemed incurable at age 54 and on life time HT. Not much need for an erection these days but still capable. Good luck. Don’t give up
User
Posted 02 Oct 2024 at 14:57

Hey Adrian…Steve leaks in every situation still I’m afraid…he’s better in the mornings though (re the leakage) and that’s fine by me, I was always a morning sex person!

User
Posted 02 Oct 2024 at 15:04

Thanks for the reply Chris, I think we will push for the tadalafil after a couple more months of the sildenafil if no improvement! And it seems we need a bit more patience too (never my strong point!).  Apart from the usual 3 monthly testing worry, we do feel very grateful and lucky so far that the cancer seemed to have been contained but it’s like Maslow’s hierarchy of needs…once your basic needs are met, (you’re still alive!) you do want to move up and aspire to bigger things!  When you’re first diagnosed, you just want to be cured no matter the side effects, but when that bits over, living with those side effects becomes the issue!

I do appreciate that for now, others are going through much worse.

User
Posted 02 Oct 2024 at 15:34

Hi

I suffered from incontinence and ED following my prostatectomy. After about 3 months I regained 99.9% continence (tend to leak when squatting or sexually excited and at orgasm). I had nerve sparing surgery but didn't have much luck with natural erections. Because of my age my erections were waining anyway. So we had to deal with both the side effects. We opted for a VED (Somaerect and rings). It takes getting used but now we rely entirely on VEDs with ring/s for our sex life. Obviously it is not ideal but with determination, imagination and adaption we have re-established our sex life. There are unintended benefits to our approach; you may like to look at my contribution to this forum at the following link:

https://community.prostatecanceruk.org/posts/t28948-Re-establishing-Sex-Life

If you private message me I can give you more help on how to use a pump and ring/s successfully.

Edited by member 02 Oct 2024 at 15:44  | Reason: Not specified

 'Physics is like sex: sure, it may give some practical results, but that’s not why we do it.'                    Richard Feynman (1918-1988) Nobel Prize laureate

 

 

User
Posted 02 Oct 2024 at 16:34

I’ve struggled with the Somaerect for penile health TBH. I’ve tried every combination of cylinder sizes, inserts and so on and I don’t find any of them work well for me. I’ve tried everything! I find it very uncomfortable to use and not particularly effective. One time I gave myself a huge bruise as my skin got caught up between the cyclinders….Ouch! I’ve come to the conclusion that if you’re a grower rather than a shower it’s not very good…..I’m the former, maybe someone can answer about the latter. At best I can get a semi(60%) but it takes a lot of effort, and it’s fiddly to use with cylinders within cylinders and rubber inserts which all require cleaning.

I thought I would try a pump advertised on eBay for £9.99 and find it so much better, probably because it’s the correct size for a grower…..and the pump action is excellent. The somaerect rings don’t slide off as easily as it has a lip but for rehab I find it much better. Only had it a week though so don’t know how long it will last. Works instantly.

Edited by member 02 Oct 2024 at 16:35  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 02 Oct 2024 at 17:40

DJC, even though I was non nerve sparring I did get some movement or stirrings a few months after surgery.i was prescribed daily 100 mg of sildenafil. Sadly I never did recover any full swelling without the aid of injections. 

 We did master the  technique of flaccid insertion/ intercourse. We just need to keep the windows shut. Ten years on I still get the odd surprise and that tingling in the testicles. As someone else said I also get a reasonable amount of swelling if straining to pass a motion.

Never give up trying to find a solution and have fun , experiment and think outside the box. 

Thanks Chris 

User
Posted 02 Oct 2024 at 18:46

Hi again.

I know that you two have good sense of humour.

I wrote this limerick about 'my condition'.

 

Having no natural erections.

I resorted to penile injections.

The wife, with a grin.

Said, "I 'think" it's gone in."

Restoring our sexual connections.

πŸ™‚

Edited by member 02 Oct 2024 at 19:45  | Reason: Typo

User
Posted 02 Oct 2024 at 20:00

Ha ha! We certainly do Adrian!

right back at you:

Our sex life is currently dead

as Steve’s manhood won’t rise in our bed

the pills are no good and the pump is a dud

so we’ll watch the football instead

 

(we are mad footy fans btw, season ticket holders…..but the sex used to fill the time close of season!!!)

 

Edited by member 02 Oct 2024 at 20:01  | Reason: Sp

User
Posted 02 Oct 2024 at 20:40

🀣🀣🀣
Being able to have a laugh about your circumstances is so important on this journey to keep you sane!

I had a real chuckle at your verses.🀣🀣🀣

 
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