Mick's day of reckoning part 2

User

Posted 31 May 2014 at 15:51

That's good I checked in with Si earlier and he told me Mick got home last night. Not surprising that they are both exhausted.

Bri

User

Posted 31 May 2014 at 21:15

Mick came home last night he had a bad time in the wheelie taxi he was very sick but it is 3 months since he has been in a vehicle other than 2 ambulance rides (without blue lights and nee nas much to his disgust) he is going to take a few days to adjust and it is quite scary for him knowing that there are no nurses or drs just along the corridor only nurse mo. Oh and the overnight carer 3 or 4 nights a week and hospice at home+ district nurse every morning and two carers twice a day. House is like Piccadilly circus. We will scale back when everything is stable. We had to fight to get the healthcare package a very emotive and distressing process . We finally got a fast track 12 week package approved at 2pm on Friday, hats off to the palliative care team who then got everything in place until Tuesday giving monday to get a more manageable timetable together.

Today we are both very tired , Mick has another urine / local infection he feels ok but blood sugar is all over the place again.

Our GP will come out on monday so we can get full transfer from hospice to home care.

This is probably the hardest part of this journey for me . Next big goal is Leicester it is going to be tough if we cannot get Mick stable and clear of any infection. But wehave a few weeks and I am stockpiling dexamethasone in case of need.

Fingers crossed ....one good thing we no longer need to worry about PSA results ....So I am going to cheat and move the decimal place on the last one several times and say it was 5.306

Xxxxx Mo and Mick

User

Posted 31 May 2014 at 23:28

Hi Mo,

You and Mick are a fantastic inspiration to us all. The next few days are going to be hard on you both but you are both fighters and will get through them.

Rest when you can, Mick will need all your strength. Leicester and the mad gang are looking forward to seeing the two of you.

Take care

Life is for living

Barry (alias Barrington )

User

Posted 31 May 2014 at 23:43

Wonderful news Mo. So much hard work to get there hope mick can settle and keep clear of infection. Make sure you take time for yourself when you can too! Thinking of you both!

User

Posted 01 Jun 2014 at 00:14

Hi Mo,

So glad that Mick is home, tell him Trevor says the nee nas and the flashing blue lights aren't nearly as much fun as they sound. It will take Mick a little while to feel relaxed back at home he has been away and reliant on Drs and Nurses for a long time. Once you get a routine going and Mick has had a few home cooked meals, your new normal will slot into place. As TG says try and rest as much as you can, I know this won't be easy and probably impossible. In fact that was a pretty daft thing for me to say, rest is going to be pretty much on the back boiler. I don't know if this is going to help but I have adopted a fur coat and no knickers approach to housework. So everything looks OK on the top, just don't let anyone open cupboards.http://community.prostatecanceruk.org/editors/tiny_mce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-surprised.gif I used to be very house proud and know I realise I cannot do everything.

Enjoy having Mick home, another good tip , make visitors work for a cup of T.

Lots of love

BFN

Julie X

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON

User

Posted 01 Jun 2014 at 00:51

Phew, although I will forever more think of you and Mick when I hear a nee na.

It is great to hear that people went the extra mile to make sure you got Mick home without any more delays. You are bound to be tired but despite the warnings from everyone else and the undoubtedly hard work ahead of you, I think you may find you are less weary being at home together than what you have just been through. The nervous energy involved in planning & mobilising, the worry, constant back & forth visiting - these are draining. Being together surrounded by your own stuff and the people that matter most - these are radiators.

Thinking about you and looking forward to seeing you at Leicester x

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User

Posted 01 Jun 2014 at 00:56

Julie, I have always had that approach to housework ... and to cooking .... and to ironing. John was appalled that I had an article published in a national in which I mentioned that when visitors arrive I shove things behind the sofa. Not many people visit me anymore 💩

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User

Posted 01 Jun 2014 at 01:19

First - best wishes to Mo and Mick - you deserve all the luck in the world.

Second - I wish my OH would take a relaxed view to cleanliness around the home. We had a few words when she got back from work yesterday as my efforts were not up to standard! I am sure there's more to life than a perfectly clean house.

Stay Calm And Carry On.

User

Posted 01 Jun 2014 at 04:34

When we were on our cruise🚢 I had breakfast☕️🍴🍛🍓🍌🍍 delivered to our stateroom (cabin). Putting the order out the night before together with the time required⏰ worked perfectly and about 5 minutes before breakfast was delivered they would ring📞 the cabin to ask if it was convenient to deliver it.

When I suggested to Karen that at home after preparing my breakfast she ring me in the bedroom from the kitchen to see if I was ready for her to bring it up, for some reason SHE WENT OFF ON ONE👹. Woman today, just can't understand them.😳

Life is for living

Barry (alias Barrington )

User

Posted 01 Jun 2014 at 08:17

And on the cleaning note: Sorry to go off on a tangent Mo but couldn't resist

Three friends married women from different parts of the world...

The first man married a Greek girl. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.

The second man married a Thai girl. He gave his wife orders that she was to do ...all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man married a girl from Yorkshire. He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. The first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything either but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he urinates.

Sure Mick will appreciate that one x

Bri

Edited by member 01 Jun 2014 at 08:18 | Reason: Not specified

User

Posted 01 Jun 2014 at 09:18

Sod cleaning, would rather be making Neil a bacon buttie anyday ! Seriously, Mick and Mo, hope things settle down a bit for you. This damn illness is non stop. Am just about to transport Neil to the local car boot sale, might just sell him if the mood comes over me !

Love Fiona. x

User

Posted 01 Jun 2014 at 09:52

I know my house is clean(ish!) but I am also aware that I am untidy. Mainly because I need the time to craft and garden and now after Tuesday to be ready to act as nurse if necessary.

I have 4 surviving sisters, ALL of whom are house proud but, in my opinion anyway, have a less fulfilling life than me because housework is more important than working on the veg plot or making a beautiful card, or going out with my husband for a walk in the sun

The housework and ironing will still be there ready and waiting for me.

It won't hide from me so I won't seek it! but I'll know where it is.

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

User

Posted 02 Jun 2014 at 13:56

Mo has asked if I can come on here and let everyone know that her beloved husband, Mick, died peacefully this morning. Nobody could have done more for a loved one, especially in the last ten weeks of hospital and hospice care, than Mo. She is understandably devastated by Mick's death, but was glad she was able to bring him home in time.

Personally, I was so pleased I was able to say goodbye and pay my respects to Mick today. A very lovely, funny friend who will be very sadly missed by me and my family.

It such a shame that it takes such an awful set of circumstances, to find such dear people to become friends with. Tonight, Ness and I are going to go to The Moorings Pub, the place where we held the Newark meet ups, to raise a glass in memory of Mick, and to Mo who has been the best wife one could wish for.

RIP Mick,

Love Si and Ness xxxx

Don't deny the diagnosis; try to defy the verdict

User

Posted 02 Jun 2014 at 14:06

Just read your post, Si and am lost for words but will try. Cannot begin to express the love and support Mo has shown to so many on the forum whilst going through such a hard time. A wonderful, courageous lady with an equally wonderful husband. My love and condolences and a piece of my heart goes out to you.

Fiona. x

User

Posted 02 Jun 2014 at 14:31

My Dear Mo,

I am totally devastated by this news, I was bemoaning a bit of pain when this so sad news was posted. You could have done no more for Mick and he in turn has fought this bloody disease with all his might. The love you have for each other has shone through.

I can say no more the tears are running down my cheeks, me a battle hardened veteran.

God bless you Mo, Rest in Peace Mick.

Love Barry & Karen

Si thank you for passing on this awful news, please pass on mine, and the many other thoughts from others on here that will duly come to Mo when you see her next. Thank you.

Edited by member 02 Jun 2014 at 14:37 | Reason: Not specified

User

Posted 02 Jun 2014 at 14:51

Dear Mo,

I am absolutely gutted to hear this terrible news. My wife Lynn and I have followed your posts all the way through and have been so impressed with you and Mick. Your devotion to eachother shone through, and you both gave the fight everything you had.

We were all hoping for a miracle, for such a lovely couple, who even found the strength to smile through all your struggles.

Our Hearts Are With You Mo,

George & Lynn

xxx

B2PCa

User

Posted 02 Jun 2014 at 15:00

The love you shared with Mick shines like a beacon throughout your postings. You will rightly be devastated now, but remember the many good times you had together and be proud of all you did.

Paul

Stay Calm And Carry On.

User

Posted 02 Jun 2014 at 15:04

Dearest Mo

I am deeply saddened to hear that Mick has fallen victim to this hideous disease. I don't think any woman could love a man as much as you do Mick. Words fail me but I hope you can find some comfort in knowing he put up the best fight anyone could.

Rest in Peace Mick

Nil desperandum

Allister

User

Posted 02 Jun 2014 at 15:11

Thankyou Si superman for that lovely post, you Ness and the girls are part of my extended family forever, nobody could have done more for us and especially this morning. Love you so much.

RIP my wonderful, funny,courageous Man. I love you more than words would ever say xxxx

I promised him that I would carry on with this forum and I will, especially if I can be of any help or support to anyone now or in the future.

Karen and I are still coming to Leicester, Mick would have wanted it that way.. I certainly do as I want to celebrate his wonderful life with all of you and probably get a little drunk in the process.

God bless and stay strong please know that I take enormous strength from all of your kindness and support.

xxx

and just this one last time Mick

User

Posted 02 Jun 2014 at 15:51

Dear Mo,

It will be lovely to see you and Karen at Leicester and I know that George and company will be raising a glass or two to Mick and yourself. Even in this sad time you take time out to wish us well and to offer your continued support and comfort is so kind of you.

You have so many wonderful memories to look back on and I know that will help see you through.

Thinking of you,

Love

Barry & Karen xxx

User

Posted 02 Jun 2014 at 15:53

Dear Mo, I am so sorry to hear this, and can only imagine how you feel now. As others have said you couldn't have done more for Mick, and in time I hope this will help. For some time though the surreality of it all will be with you, please let others do as much for you as possible. You must be exhausted, but with your focus on the care you have given Mick you probably don't quite realise how exhausted.

In time I am sure memories of happier times will bring you comfort but until then all you can do is take each day a step at a time, take care, love Janet

User

Posted 02 Jun 2014 at 16:05

Dearest Mandy

Your immense love and respect for Mick have been wholly evident right through his journey and it is true that no one could have done more, shown more love and understanding and support to Mick and also to many others here and elsewhere.

Like everyone else here I was devastated to hear the news today and can only be thankful that you have managed to move heaven and earth to get him home, where he clearly wanted to be and to have the support of Si and Ness, I know has been truly wonderful. What friends they have turned out to be.

Per Ardua Ad Astra Mick.

Can't wait to give you a hug at Leicester Mandy.

Rest in Peace big man.

With our my love and sincere condolences

Allison and John

User

Posted 02 Jun 2014 at 17:03

I've only been a member of this site for a very short while but have followed yours and others' posts regarding your journey. Please accept my deepest sympathy

You can tell from the comments here how much you and your husband were respected and loved.

Best Wishes from Sandra

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

User

Posted 02 Jun 2014 at 17:55

Dear Mo

I was very saddened to hear the news about Mick. I have followed your postings over the last few months and cannot imagine the strength needed for you both to deal with whatever was thrown at you by this terrible disease. I really don’t know what to say except if you carry on with the forum your contributions will be invaluable in giving help and support to others who have to get through similar situations.

Condolences and best wishes

Alan

User

Posted 02 Jun 2014 at 18:08

My SS,

I am so very sad to hear this news, like so many others I have shed tears today. Both you and Mick have fought so very hard with this terrible disease. I am glad that you got him home in time , and that Si was there to help you through. It is almost as if he held on to be at home with you.

My thoughts and love are with you.

RIP Mick.

BFN

Julie XX

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON

User

Posted 02 Jun 2014 at 18:31

Dear Mo

Kim and I are so very sorry to read your news. It's very quiet and reflective here at the moment.

We have followed your story from the beginning and have always admired yours and Mick's unwaivering strength, determination and love for each other at all times. Moreover, throughout everything you have still had time and love for your friends and fellow travellers.

Two amazing people and a great sadness one has had to leave. RIP Mick.

We hope the much deserved love you have gathered on your journey now aids you through this most difficult times.

Sincere condolences and love

Veronica and Kim

User

Posted 02 Jun 2014 at 19:39

I am relatively new to site but have been following your journey for some weeks now, Please accept my deepest sympathy

Frank

User

Posted 02 Jun 2014 at 20:38

Mo, I really struggle with what to say at times like this. Si let me know this morning and I was shocked by this very sad news.

As you know I had the honour of meeting Mick at Newark and spent a lovely few hours in his and your company. Mick is, and will continue to be, an inspiration to me and many others. Your love, devotion and commitment to Mick are obvious as is his courage, fortitude, dignity and humility. All this will live on through your wonderful posts.

Please take care of yourself at this difficult time. You have your family and friends for support and you have all of us here.

RIP Mick, a true gent

Bri xx

User

Posted 02 Jun 2014 at 21:30

What another very sad day.

Mo, (Mandy), we send our very deep felt condolences to you at this very sad time, what more can I say, I am gutted, we are so glad we managed to meet up at Newark. Remember ALL those good times.

RIP Mick, join the get together in the sky!!!!

Chris and Shirley. xxxx

PS. when I can find my thread I will add Mick to "Absent Friends" C.

User

Posted 02 Jun 2014 at 22:10

Mo so sorry to read your sad news. Both you and Mick fought this pc with dignity humour and a lot of love for each other and always found time to advise others if we needed advice me included. Iam glad when your ready to stay on the forum as your knowledge will help many people on here.

Eric shed a tear when I told him today although he had never met you both in person .I always told him your replys and best wishes you sentt.Some people say it must be easier to know that our OH are on borrowed time.Its not.

Eric and I bothe send our deepest condolances to you and your family.x

Carol Wric

User

Posted 02 Jun 2014 at 23:13

Dear Mo,

I heard this morning when Si sent me a text. I have been out until now and unable to get on the forum. I have spent the day thinking about you and your wonderful hubby Mick. It was a privilege to meet him and get to know a little about how he ticks. You have been unstinting in your time, care and support to Mick and to so many others including myself. Take time Mo to breathe and reflect on this devastating news. There are no easy answers here, no text book responses, but you know that you have the forum here to help and guide you in whatever you need.

RIP, Mick. I wish I could have said a proper good bye. You are at peace and there is no pain any more.

Mo, look after yourself now and just shout if you need anything.

User

Posted 03 Jun 2014 at 01:14

Some people are ripped from this earth whilst for others the final moments are gentle and comforting. I have no doubt that Mick held on long enough to get home and that in his last hours, he was contented and felt safe, hearing the words of those most important to him in the world and knowing the hands that touched him were full of love.

My heart aches for you Mo x

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User

Posted 03 Jun 2014 at 14:31

Dear Mo,

So sorry to read this news. My condolences to you & family.

Both of you fought so hard & have gained so much admiration from many members here .

Mick is at rest now and I wish you continued strength over the coming weeks.

With Great respect to two brave people.

Rob

User

Posted 03 Jun 2014 at 19:16

So sorry to hear your sad news Mo,we have never met and possibly never will,but I have followed your many posts this last 9 months and my sympathies are with you and your family,be strong. Diesel x

User

Posted 03 Jun 2014 at 22:05

Mo I too am so sorry to hear the news of your dear Mick's passing. We have never met, but I have followed your thread throughout. I was so glad to see you got your beloved man home and the sail away party sounded so amazing. It is nice to see you have so many good friends on here and around you who can help support you through this, but if what I know of you is right you will be back fighting the cause and providing your support to so many people on this site.

My heart goes out to you, I cannot fathom how hard it is to lose someone you love so dear, but you could not have done more to make his last few weeks so special and you will have many happy memories

God bless you and RIP Mick xxx

User

Posted 03 Jun 2014 at 23:25

The last hoorah

I was quite surprised when I got into Mick's post death wishes, if I am honest it is just a true reflection of the man he was and the courageous spirit with which he fought this horrid disease.

No religious service, Mick never believed in God as such but he did not rule out the possibility of some deity he just was not sure what it was. so the service is going to be a civil one with an independent funeral celebrant conducting the service. There is a theme and that is celebrating a wonderful life. He has specifically requested no mourning clothes , no floods of tears (as they could not bring him back and if he could be aware of the events would just make him sad too) definitely no suits or ties or black . He himself is wearing his favourite BBQ T shirt (a xmas gift from his beloved daughter Karen and her partner Mark) a pair of hand me down Bermuda shorts from one of his best buddies Alan and his best flip flops. So he requested that we all dress as if we were going to a mates BBQ or a summer garden party. Shorts, Jeans and T shirts very much the order of the day. His music in will be a jazz rendition of Bring me sunshine a tribute to his comedy heroes Eric and Ernie and also a tribute to our wonderfully talented jazz pianist nephew Paul who composed and plays this arrangement.

His music out is a surprise and is only known to the director and a few others.

The service will probably be quite well attended, with many of his gliding and flying buddies as well as some of you guys and gals here supporting all our friends and family. a bit like a wake without live music.

The wake post service is being organised by Karen and two very dear friends. It should be at our local village pub with a buffet and a beer or two on his Immensitude (Mick) how thoughtful that the chosen venue will be showing the England v Uraguay football match from 8 onwards (only for the stalwarts)

If anyone wants to come along please do , the service is on 19th June at the Lincoln Crematorium on Washingborough Road at 13.10 and the post event is at the Wishing well pub in Cherry Willingham village. Please could you let me know so that I can factor in numbers for the crematorium and the wake party.

Of course Leicester is only a blink behind this so bring it on.

Many thanks to you all for your lovely messages you have no idea how much it helps at this time

User

Posted 04 Jun 2014 at 00:02

I'm lost for words. I don't think even our wonderful language can express my admiration for you. I hope everything goes to plan and Mick's send off is everything and more he wished for.

Paul

Stay Calm And Carry On.

User

Posted 04 Jun 2014 at 00:34

Hello Mo,

Why am I not surprised, Mick quite rightly bowing out in the same great spirit that he enjoyed throughout his life.

I would love to be there but Karen will be working and in the evening we will be starting out on our way to Leicester.

Hopefully we will meet up then and I can see lots of hugs being given.

Stay strong but shed a tear if you feel like it Mo, remember all the good times you had together.

In my last couple of posts to you I have refrained from using my normal signature phrase but I'm sure both you and Mick welcome it's return as it is the way you lived,

So.....

Life is for living

Barry (alias Barrington)

Looks like it will be the Union Jack Waistcoat and bow tie 🇬🇧 for me Mo, not sure about the bottom half though!

Edited by member 04 Jun 2014 at 10:07 | Reason: Not specified

User

Posted 04 Jun 2014 at 00:45

Way to go Mo. I love this celebration for Mick and whilst it would be a bridge too far for me to come in shorts I think (for me and for others!) and I always wear a suit at my own BBQs but I will try and dress down. Tuxedo too much? I will be there and help give Mick a great send off. Look after yourself and see you soon.

Thinking of you Mo, and never forgetting your man!

User

Posted 04 Jun 2014 at 07:43

Well done Mo. My Mrs said I'd best get my suit out. I had a feeling I may not have to.

I will be popping out from work to attend. Hope they don't mind me wearing my shorts and Hawaiian shirt in the MDT meeting

Bri

User

Posted 04 Jun 2014 at 07:50

Hi Mo,

Ness and i will be there and the twins will be in spirit.

Ness will see you later

All our love.

Don't deny the diagnosis; try to defy the verdict

User

Posted 04 Jun 2014 at 09:41

Sounds like it will be a wonderful send off, Mo, a fantastic tribute to Mick !

Sending love as always,

Fiona.

User

Posted 04 Jun 2014 at 17:50

Hi Mo,

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to come and pay my respects for your fabulous Mick today, and although the reason for my trip over was far from desirable, I actually really enjoyed the chance to have a proper chat with you afterwards too. A truly lovely man and a gentleman too.

Your courage and fortitude of spirit is immense, and I know you will do him proud in a couple of weeks time. I will be wearing white linen trews and flips as requested, and will have to find out my brightest top to go with!! Take care Mandy, and all our love and best wishes from us Scotts. See you then xxx

Don't deny the diagnosis; try to defy the verdict

User

Posted 04 Jun 2014 at 22:21

Hi Mo,

You can count on me to be there but sorry I won't be wearing shortshttp://community.prostatecanceruk.org/editors/tiny_mce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-laughing.gif

BFN

Julie X

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON

User

Posted 04 Jun 2014 at 22:58

Shorts might just be a stretch too far for me too .. linen trews sound good with flips and a nice T shirt ..My eldest sister who has always been a complete reprobate will probably wear a biker shirt, shorts and bobby socks ..kind of Olivia NJ in grease. Everyone seems to be getting into the spirit of this very casual theme.

Went to see Mick today with Ness, had no intention of actually going into the chapel of rest, just to escort Ness. However once I was there it just felt the right thing to do...glad I did Mick really looks peaceful having a lovely snooze, arms across his tummy in his favourite T shirt and shorts.. bless he almost looks well. Went for coffee and naughty cake courtesy of Ness afterwards, lovely chat with another awesome Lady. So touching to have made so many good friends through such bad times.

Had a very emotional phone call from Mick's lovely Oncologist today, know I cannot name him on here but think of Spanish golfers who have a surname starting with B ... he said that Mick was an inspiration to him, full of courage so very strong and with a humour to match. A lovely patient and a shining example of humanity. He also said that I was amazing and a few other lovely things, made me cry a bit but then he then said I could go to him anytime for any reason, he would be there for me. I made him laugh when I said I hoped to God I would never go to him for a professional consult (he only deals with prostate cancer!) how many consultants in the NHS have the time or inclination to go that extra mile.

Little article has also been published on The hospice facebook page, I gave permission for them to go ahead as it had been written before Monday, just seemed right to give back a little to such an amazing organisation.

Karen and I are very much looking forward to meeting everyone at Leicester and thanking you all for such incredible support over the last 12 months. Time now for me to give back a little and try to be of some help to others on this forum.

For those that are coming to Mick's last Hoorah see you there and remember casual is the order of the day xxx

User

Posted 04 Jun 2014 at 23:16

Hi Mo,

What a lovely thought from your oncologist, Mick and you must have made such an impression on him. I expect, like many on here, he was amazed at the way you both carried on with humour and love whilst going through such awful times. Seems strange thing to say at this particular time but you have kept us entertained through your postings. Of course there has been many serious times too but overall it has been the humour and happiness that has been a constant companion in all of your posts.

Bless you Mo and Karen and I are thinking of you

Life is for living

Barry (alias Barrington)

User

Posted 05 Jun 2014 at 00:15

Mo, you constantly amaze me; if I could conduct my life with half your spirit I would be very proud.

Mick will have a wonderful send-off and I will buy you a cup of tea at M-o-t-s ..... unless you decide to take up smoking in which case I will see you in the beer garden.

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User

Posted 05 Jun 2014 at 06:54

What a great oncol.... if only they could all show that kind of concern.

Mo you already have given back ten fold. I'm so pleased to hear you are going to stay around. But also think of yourself for now.....

See you on the 19th. I will be the one with a hankie on my head and water wings

Bri

User

Posted 05 Jun 2014 at 08:55

Only just read this very sad news.

Was lovely to meet you both at Newark.

My sincere condolences to you, and all your family and friends.

Dave

User

Posted 07 Jun 2014 at 20:22

Mo I am so sorry to read that Mick has lost his battle, but it will always be an unequal struggle against this horrible disease

RIP in peace mick

Dorrie and Barry

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Mick's day of reckoning part 2

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