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Advanced prostat cancer part 2

Posted 19 Dec 2018 at 16:55
Your grandson looks perfect. Thank you for the update, best wishes for Christmas and beyond.

A sense of humour is essential too, keep it going!



Posted 19 Dec 2018 at 17:22

Good to hear from you Julie! ...

I used to follow your Trevor's journey....even though his diagnosis and treatment path was far removed from mine.. 

Enjoy your Christmas

Best Wishes to you and your family 


Posted 19 Dec 2018 at 17:45
Hi Julie

Great to see your post. Great to see a photo of your grandson as well.

I have missed your humour in the posts. Trevor and you certainly had a journey but your humour, support and commitment were inspiring and Tevorvwas very lucky to have you by his side.

I’m glad to hear your humour is returning and I look forward to that

Take care

Bri xx

Posted 20 Dec 2018 at 09:45
Hi Julie,

Reon looks great!

In time he will get to know what a great family he has been born into and understand what a powerful man his grandfather was.

I must say a thanks to you, it was a notification from this thread that has brought me back into the fold, I've been away for a long time.

Cheers m'dear!

All the best from the Southend boy,


Posted 21 Dec 2018 at 04:13

Lovely to hear from you Julie, you were sorely missed here but always glad to know that l life goes on and the boys are doing well. hugs 

devonmaid xxxx

Posted 21 Dec 2018 at 15:34

How lovely to hear from you again Julie and what a handsome G son you have. I too followed Trevor's journey and your strength and humorous posts were an inspiration! Sadly, I lost my younger brother to advanced prostate cancer last month and am still finding it a difficult to be up-beat and positive at times. However, I have the imminent arrival of our 8th grandchild to look forward to!!

Have a great Christmas and and happy new year

Tom xxx       

Posted 21 Dec 2018 at 18:38

Fab to hear that you have a grandson and tha5 you are still the same Julie. i hooe that you have a wonderful xmas


Dream like you have forever, live like you only have today Avatar is me doing the 600 mile Camino de Santiago May 2019

Posted 21 Dec 2018 at 18:49
Glad to hear from you Julie and learn about the new addition to the family. Those of us familiar with Trevor's story and your posts will never forget. Wish you well.
Posted 21 Dec 2018 at 19:09

Hello Julie, i dont post on here often but read yours and Trevors journey when i joined earlier this year . You and your family are an inspiration to all of us . And you make me feel very humble.

I hope you are all coping well.


Posted 22 Dec 2018 at 00:29

Dear Julie, I am a wife, a long time reader but not a poster to the forum.  But I felt I must reply when I saw your new post. I don't think you will ever know how much your posts have meant to me and others over the years.  They often gave me the strength to think that I could keep going, and more than that they often made me laugh.  I pleased to hear that your sense of humour is returning, and that you and the boys are managing.  I've thought of you so often over the past year.   May there be lots of smiles from Reon to brighten Christmas and the years ahead.

Posted 23 Dec 2018 at 23:54
Oh my Lord; girl you gone all soft on me????

Second Christmas without T - it will be easier than last year in a way but also more poignant. I see you on FB finding your new normal and I know he would be so very, very proud of you xxx

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

Posted 03 Jul 2020 at 23:12

A Happy thread a continuation of life Trevor’s latest granddaughter has been born . And named C C Boothe . CC is named after her grandmother, Trevor’s mum who came to England on the Windrush .,Trevor’s mum was Clarice Cleopatra Boothe and for short always introduced her self with a white gloved Hand shake as CC Boothe .

prostate cancer ended his life but did not end his legacy .




Posted 03 Jul 2020 at 23:14
How lovely - we have a little one named after his grandad Stan.

Congratulations to you all xxx

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

Posted 04 Jul 2020 at 00:07


Lovely to hear from you and congratulations on your wonderful news. Keep going gal.

Thanks Chris

Posted 04 Jul 2020 at 03:17
Congratulations on another addition to the family Julie. I hope you are OK and it's nice that you keep in touch. Sadly, we have lost more members and others have joined more recently who will not know of Trevor's journey, so it's good that your posting may lead them to learn about him and indeed you. As I have said a number of times over the years, it is often the wife, partner or offspring that researches and supports their man who has PCa and others affected by this rotten disease too,
Posted 05 Jul 2020 at 11:02

Wonderful News, Julie. 

Trevor would have so proud (I'm sure he is) of not only the new granddaughter, but of all of you in the way you have coped and continue to live your lives.

Steve x

Posted 05 Jul 2020 at 14:29
Julie ( lady in the blue dress ) , what delightful news. Miss you and your fun so much on here. I hope life just gets better and better and .......... for you x
Posted 06 Jul 2020 at 06:55
congratulations on the new baby, wonderful happy news .

barbara xxx

Posted 06 Jul 2020 at 09:57

Wonderful news, congratulations 


Posted 23 Jul 2020 at 16:03

Lovely news -  our rector recently reminded us that we go on in our children and grandchildren and this is wonderful for all your family.x

Posted 30 Jul 2020 at 21:51

Think of Trevor often - even some time after his posting - an inspiration of a man, cool headed, logical and without an ounce of self pity or panic.

Rest in piece Trevor, your trials and hard times are over.

Posted 06 Jul 2021 at 01:25

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member

Got to thinking about this Cancer and the journey that we are all on. This is just a little poem about the road we are all travelling. Hope you enjoy it.

The station is so busy far to hectic for me, I can't remember what train they said , I'm not sure where we should be. I look at him for reassurance but he looks more confused than me, sit down and take the weight of I'll fetch us a cup of tea.

I spy the ticket office but there's crowds of people there should I push my way through or just politely que.

The family in front of me have buckets and spades day trippers I thought, they brought a return ticket to RP they say it's nice there this time of year. I think they used there rail card and this reminded me I had accidently dropped mine when I went to get the tea.

Finally it's me, 2 tickets to Cancer central please, "sorry love this window is return tickets only you need window 3. I looked around for window 3, this station this station is so busy it's beginning to worry me.

I saw a guard he might help. " Excuse me do you know where I can find window 3 , you don't want window 3 love that's the non stopper it terminates at the end of the line. OH I thought bu@@er me, so where should we be. Try window 2 he said that's the scenic route it stops at all the stations.

Come on I said to him lets try window 2 there's a buffet car included and you get a free cup of tea.

Are you sure this is our train he say's , are you sure you heard him right. The speaker booms out the train leaving at platform 2 is for Cancer Central and is calling at all stations so of we set into the night. Yes I thought I heard him alright.

The lady with the buffet car came rattling down the aisle anyone with a HT season ticket gets a free curry, that made him smile.

We dozed awhile grateful for a nap, The train started slowing as we approached Chemo many fellow travellers stood up we gave each other a knowing nod as the speaker said Mind the Gap.

The train is speeding along know, clickety clack , clickety clack , should we stop at Abiraterone or go further up the track.

We chatted to the man opposite he was going to Enzalutamide, he said it's brilliant there's a water park with a slip and go slide.

This journey has been exhausting and I think we both agree, if we have to come this away again it'll be the Bus for him and me.


Julie X


For Leila x 

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

Posted 06 Jul 2021 at 13:20

Hi Lyn,

Many thanks for that, I've just read it about three times. I'm not a gal who cries easily, but I have to admit me eyes are leaking as I type. I followed Julie, both she & her Trevor were an inspiration to me in the early days.

It seems he had another event last night. The dark humour in me keeps thinking of the eventing at the horse trials at Hickstead, although David has never ridden in his life, I have, and been to many ' events' but none like this one

Looks as if he will be in hospital for a week if the stent can't be done. His consultant has a good rep, and knows his stuff, but the bedside manner of Caligula according to David. I hope the stent can be done, as it seems its a one off procedure. And it's his birthday this week. Hey ho... 

Thankfully I don't have too much work on at the moment.

Leila x




Posted 07 Jul 2021 at 19:57

OMGosh so I don’t get many notifications these days so I was a bit surprised when checking my emails to find this 

i am a great believer in fate as it’s almost a year to the day since my last post and here I am back on the train !


So 3 years since Trevor left us , 4 in Nov and what are we up to , so buckle up guys here we go .


Firstly I’m thinking I need to change that avatar 😂, secondly I’m still known as the Cocker Lady ( sorry Lyn was that your Tea gone again ) 😂 for all newbies that’s cocker Spaniels ie dogs 🐕 , not nearly as much fun as the first connotation.


After 12 long and very hard years I have been successful in gaining planning permission so I can now relocate back home to Essex with my family and friends, I can’t express enough how tough it’s been here cut of from my support network . But Hey Ho Silver I’m Essex bound in a few months 🤗.

Ive been a bit reflective over the last few weeks as the move draws closer and what do you know up you all pop ,

The forum was my go to place for 5 years and I don’t think anyone realised how important it was to me , I don’t think I realised in the beginning, I really did think it was going to be a short pop in get some advice , you know the kind of thing ! OH by the way my husband has a psa of 13000 does anyone think this could be serious.

What do you know yep it was seriously serious, Trevor himself never wanted to join and that was ok he dealt with his cancer in his way after all it was his cancer .

I on the other hand needed knowledge, information we all deal with things in different ways , I started reading posts from other members , posts that touched my soul so many men who are now long gone but who left an inspirational legacy on the forum ( I’ll leave Lyn to name them ) . 

So in those early days amidst all of the fear and panic I was reading those posts which were so brilliantly written and they had a strange calming affect on me even though none where good outcomes so not experiences of miracle cures , I had a calmness and a kind of acceptance although I don’t think that is really achieved until much later .

Thats when I decided for a few reasons the first reason being totally selfish that I needed to document Trevor’s journey ( totally selfish ) that’s what I needed but the second reason was to maybe give back what the forum had helped me with and that was a coping mechanism.

And OH boy did it help me cope , the only way I could write my posts was from the heart , and I needed it to be with my personality so nothing fake a tell it how it is with my sense of humour, maybe not everyone’s taste but I wanted to chart Trevor’s journey and leave something written a warts and all description .

All of time I was posting I was very aware of how my posts could potentially affect others , that brings me to my 3rd reason for documenting everything, I wanted to share that it’s ok to be up , it’s ok to be down and all of those feelings in between . 

I never thought that 3 plus years on that people would still be reading and finding comfort in our story . 

Much love to everyone xxx



Edited by member 07 Jul 2021 at 19:58  | Reason: Not specified

Posted 07 Jul 2021 at 21:00
LOVELY to hear from you Julie. All best wishes to you x
Posted 08 Jul 2021 at 09:26

Julie, Your posts were quite special, and your poem is so insightful. Thank you Julie, I hope Essex and friends all work out well for you. 

Leila x

Posted 08 Jul 2021 at 18:39

Inspirational as ever Julie. Best wishes for your move.


Posted 08 Jul 2021 at 21:30
Your posts always provided a humorous and down to earth take on a very serious situation for you all. Having met you on a couple of occasions Julie it’s very evident that you wear your heart on your sleeve.

I’m now at the stage we’re I am ordering my ticket for that train. But hopefully it’s going to be as lengthy as the trans Siberian train route rather than the Brighton Belle line.

Hoping all goes well with your move and hopefully our paths will cross again some day


Bri xx

Posted 10 Jul 2021 at 20:53

Do good to see that a new chapter is starting for you , always love seeing anything from you .

Dream like you have forever, live like you only have today Avatar is me doing the 600 mile Camino de Santiago May 2019

Posted 02 Nov 2021 at 22:07

New beginnings, I’ve changed my Avatar to mine and Trevor’s baby Zack , not such a baby know but almost a grown man 17 .

 I’m apparently not allowed to post recent photos but that’s ok because ‘‘this avatar for me embodies Trevor , his cheeky grin and I see so much of him in Zack . 

Something i had written on my mums headstone always brings home to me that we are never really gone from this life .

The words where .

Do not grieve me because I live on in the faces of my children .

And this avatar is exactly that Trevor’s cheeky face in the face of his son , and yes they are very similar in character. 

So where are we 4 years on from Trevor passing , we are ok in fact better than ok . Against unbelievable odds after such huge and almost insurmountable obstacles we have managed to move back to Essex , back home to friends and family we now have huge support on our doorstep.

something I cherish every day .

much love to all of you. 




Posted 02 Nov 2021 at 22:30
Pleased that you are settling in just fine.


Posted 02 Nov 2021 at 23:27

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member
Do not grieve me because I live on in the faces of my children


I love that Julie  - I think I will have that on my headstone. At the moment, my death plan (which I wrote years ago but update every so often) says that the inscription on my stone should be "she was very pleased with herself" 🤣

I saw that you had managed to get back to Essex - I am so pleased for you and yes, it is good to be back in safe arms with support around you. Big question is, have you kept the strap-on mower?

Trevor would be so proud of you as well as the boys xxx 

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

Posted 04 Nov 2021 at 21:34

The strap on is long gone Lyn 😂 thank goodness it was the bane of my life .

you are more than welcome to the epitaph for those of us lucky enough to have children I believe it is so true because we are never really gone a part of us will always live on 😘

Posted 18 Jul 2022 at 01:45

I really want this post to reach out to others that have young children and the worry that how a cancer diagnosis of a parent affects them . 

I was terrified for how Trevor’s diagnosis would affect my boys at the time of his diagnosis they where 14 and 9 , babies really compared to lots of others , but also I am sure many other men on here have had similar ages and gone through the heart ache and worry that we  did .

i have to say it wasn’t easy in fact I’m not going to sugar coat it Trevor had 5 years after a terminal diagnosis that was horrendous for my self and my boys and of course Trevor  ( every thing is documented if you have the time to look back on my posts ) . Most of posts I tried to make it as light hearted as I could in the most of our dire of circumstances.

But and a Huge But here we are today  almost 5 years on . James has achieved a 1st and  and his Masters in Physics and Astro Physics, Trevor would be so proud of his boys .

My message is although sometimes our children can go through the harshest of times they are more resistant than we think and can and do amazing things regardless of the struggles that life presents .

my message would be have faith in your children they will survive life’s knocks and tragedies ( I was terrified that mine wouldn’t ) but here they are grown men ( almost ) 









Posted 18 Jul 2022 at 06:24
Thank you Julie my friend. It’s only recently that we told my 12 yr old son that it was incurable. He’s always known I’ve had it these past 7 yrs but I think he thought I was fixed. But over time the word has got around and he’s been confronted by lovely wee sh***tes in the playground saying your dads gonna die. It’s led to some heart-wrenching chats for sure. Thanks for your positivity xx
Posted 18 Jul 2022 at 12:34

Well done James. I'm trying to remember if Physics is a hard degree or whether Tourism and Leisure Management is the hard one?


Posted 25 Jul 2022 at 11:52
Trevor... It was so long journey... Stay strong we all are wih you!
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