Advanced prostat cancer part 2

Reon looks great!

In time he will get to know what a great family he has been born into and understand what a powerful man his grandfather was.

I must say a thanks to you, it was a notification from this thread that has brought me back into the fold, I've been away for a long time.

Cheers m'dear!

All the best from the Southend boy,

Kevin

A Happy thread a continuation of life Trevor’s latest granddaughter has been born . And named C C Boothe . CC is named after her grandmother, Trevor’s mum who came to England on the Windrush .,Trevor’s mum was Clarice Cleopatra Boothe and for short always introduced her self with a white gloved Hand shake as CC Boothe .

prostate cancer ended his life but did not end his legacy .

BFN XXX

For Leila x 

OMGosh so I don’t get many notifications these days so I was a bit surprised when checking my emails to find this 

i am a great believer in fate as it’s almost a year to the day since my last post and here I am back on the train !

So 3 years since Trevor left us , 4 in Nov and what are we up to , so buckle up guys here we go .

Firstly I’m thinking I need to change that avatar 😂, secondly I’m still known as the Cocker Lady ( sorry Lyn was that your Tea gone again ) 😂 for all newbies that’s cocker Spaniels ie dogs 🐕 , not nearly as much fun as the first connotation.

After 12 long and very hard years I have been successful in gaining planning permission so I can now relocate back home to Essex with my family and friends, I can’t express enough how tough it’s been here cut of from my support network . But Hey Ho Silver I’m Essex bound in a few months 🤗.

Ive been a bit reflective over the last few weeks as the move draws closer and what do you know up you all pop ,

The forum was my go to place for 5 years and I don’t think anyone realised how important it was to me , I don’t think I realised in the beginning, I really did think it was going to be a short pop in get some advice , you know the kind of thing ! OH by the way my husband has a psa of 13000 does anyone think this could be serious.

What do you know yep it was seriously serious, Trevor himself never wanted to join and that was ok he dealt with his cancer in his way after all it was his cancer .

I on the other hand needed knowledge, information we all deal with things in different ways , I started reading posts from other members , posts that touched my soul so many men who are now long gone but who left an inspirational legacy on the forum ( I’ll leave Lyn to name them ) . 

So in those early days amidst all of the fear and panic I was reading those posts which were so brilliantly written and they had a strange calming affect on me even though none where good outcomes so not experiences of miracle cures , I had a calmness and a kind of acceptance although I don’t think that is really achieved until much later .

Thats when I decided for a few reasons the first reason being totally selfish that I needed to document Trevor’s journey ( totally selfish ) that’s what I needed but the second reason was to maybe give back what the forum had helped me with and that was a coping mechanism.

And OH boy did it help me cope , the only way I could write my posts was from the heart , and I needed it to be with my personality so nothing fake a tell it how it is with my sense of humour, maybe not everyone’s taste but I wanted to chart Trevor’s journey and leave something written a warts and all description .

All of time I was posting I was very aware of how my posts could potentially affect others , that brings me to my 3rd reason for documenting everything, I wanted to share that it’s ok to be up , it’s ok to be down and all of those feelings in between . 

I never thought that 3 plus years on that people would still be reading and finding comfort in our story . 

Much love to everyone xxx

Edited by member 07 Jul 2021 at 19:58  | Reason: Not specified

New beginnings, I’ve changed my Avatar to mine and Trevor’s baby Zack , not such a baby know but almost a grown man 17 .

 I’m apparently not allowed to post recent photos but that’s ok because ‘‘this avatar for me embodies Trevor , his cheeky grin and I see so much of him in Zack . 

Something i had written on my mums headstone always brings home to me that we are never really gone from this life .

The words where .

Do not grieve me because I live on in the faces of my children .

And this avatar is exactly that Trevor’s cheeky face in the face of his son , and yes they are very similar in character. 

So where are we 4 years on from Trevor passing , we are ok in fact better than ok . Against unbelievable odds after such huge and almost insurmountable obstacles we have managed to move back to Essex , back home to friends and family we now have huge support on our doorstep.

something I cherish every day .

much love to all of you. 

I love that Julie  - I think I will have that on my headstone. At the moment, my death plan (which I wrote years ago but update every so often) says that the inscription on my stone should be "she was very pleased with herself" 🤣

I saw that you had managed to get back to Essex - I am so pleased for you and yes, it is good to be back in safe arms with support around you. Big question is, have you kept the strap-on mower?

Trevor would be so proud of you as well as the boys xxx 

I really want this post to reach out to others that have young children and the worry that how a cancer diagnosis of a parent affects them . 

I was terrified for how Trevor’s diagnosis would affect my boys at the time of his diagnosis they where 14 and 9 , babies really compared to lots of others , but also I am sure many other men on here have had similar ages and gone through the heart ache and worry that we  did .

i have to say it wasn’t easy in fact I’m not going to sugar coat it Trevor had 5 years after a terminal diagnosis that was horrendous for my self and my boys and of course Trevor  ( every thing is documented if you have the time to look back on my posts ) . Most of posts I tried to make it as light hearted as I could in the most of our dire of circumstances.

But and a Huge But here we are today  almost 5 years on . James has achieved a 1st and  and his Masters in Physics and Astro Physics, Trevor would be so proud of his boys .

My message is although sometimes our children can go through the harshest of times they are more resistant than we think and can and do amazing things regardless of the struggles that life presents .

my message would be have faith in your children they will survive life’s knocks and tragedies ( I was terrified that mine wouldn’t ) but here they are grown men ( almost )