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Advanced prostat cancer part 2

Posted 02 Nov 2017 at 10:57
I am so sorry to hear this, Julie. You both fought so hard and are an inspiration to so many. Love Janet, xx
Posted 02 Nov 2017 at 11:53
Sorry never seems to cut it in times like these, my heart goes out to you and the boys. No one could have fought harder.

RIP Trevor

Roy xx

Posted 02 Nov 2017 at 12:54
My thoughts are with you Julie and boys. You are a true inspiration to many. You shared the measure of your love to many of us, and your wonderful man. Love is one of the things the more you give the more you get back. R.I.P Trevor, love to you and your family.

Posted 02 Nov 2017 at 14:23

Dear Julie,

I am absolutely gutted to hear of Trevor's passing.

Never in my 12+ years on the PCUK forums have I witnessed such a very long and so difficult a battle by such a courageous man.
He was a hero, and we all wished he'd continue to defy the overwhelming odds for even longer.

We salute a truly outstanding man who inspired us all.

Julie, our hearts go out to you and your boys today.

You shared with us every up and down over the years and yet never lost your unique feisty spirit and so often you were still able to type so many 'laugh out loud' postings.

Only you could have written these moving lines about the love of your life:
You summed up everything in so few words.

The Man
The Myth
The Legend
Has left the building.

We all love you, and wish you all the strength in the world to get through this sad sad time.



George & Lynn

Posted 02 Nov 2017 at 16:17

Dammit, Julie, we knew it was coming but all so wish Trevor and you could have had more time together. Thank you both for being such an inspiration to us, which I hope you will be able in time to continue to be, so that Trevor's legacy lives on through your actions and wise words.


Posted 02 Nov 2017 at 16:20


I'll make sure there are prayers for you all.


TURP then LRP in 2009/2010. Lots of leakage but PSA < 0.1 AMS-800 Artificial Sphincter activated 2015.

Posted 02 Nov 2017 at 16:49
I’m so sorry Julie - I have followed your thread for quite some time and am terribly sad to hear of Trevor’s passing. Many many condolences to you and your boys xx

Edited by member 02 Nov 2017 at 18:05  | Reason: Not specified

Posted 02 Nov 2017 at 18:33


My sincere condolences, what a fight, what a guy!



Posted 02 Nov 2017 at 18:37

Trevor battled on through what would have killed many a man years ago. My condolences to you Julie, to the rest of the family and friends.

Posted 02 Nov 2017 at 19:15

Thoughts are with you and your family at this sad time .

Posted 03 Nov 2017 at 17:43

Rest east Trevor.

Our condolences to Julie and her family.

Posted 03 Nov 2017 at 20:57

Words are not enough.

Posted 03 Nov 2017 at 21:30
So very sorry Julie to hear the sad news about Trevor. You and your family are in my thoughts.

Debbie x

Posted 04 Nov 2017 at 18:10

My heart breaks for you and your boys Julie. What a wonderful woman and support you have been to your man.
Rest in peace Trevor xx

Posted 04 Nov 2017 at 20:16
Don't comment on the site often but have followed your journey from the 1st day on this wonderful site RIP Trevor thinking of you and your family at this sad time Julie x
Posted 04 Nov 2017 at 23:26
Can the most computer literate among you bring up the Train Journey for me .


Julie X

Not mentioning names but Si I am looking at you X

Posted 05 Nov 2017 at 00:01

Here you go, Julie - page 2 and scroll down about halfway to the end of November 2014



"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

Posted 07 Nov 2017 at 12:49
Trevor has left the building....

Julie you are one Orrsome lady.

I wrote this poem about 6 weeks ago for a friend struggling after the loss of his wife. I know you won't find it inappropriate for you or your family.

I am deeply sorry for your loss.

xoxxx Mo

Ours is not to reason why

it matters not how hard we try

we can hide under that darkened sky

or spread our wings and learn to fly

Our grief isn't measured by our tears

nor time constrained by months or years

the smallest things can make us cry

yet ours is not to reason why?

each day we start with good intent

to try and simply re -invent

but that is living in a lie

For ours is not to reason why.

So we change the question to simply how?

and take one step forward in our here and now.

Posted 08 Nov 2017 at 17:29

Just logged in after a long absence to read the shocking news that Trevor has passed away...

I well remember talking to him at length about 3 years ago at a Euston Flyer meet up. I was totally in awe when he told me what he had been through and couldn't help the admiration of how he dealt with it so matter-of-factly.

It would have floored a lesser man but he was sparky and upbeat in such a way that was instantly impressive. 

He was an inspiration and that's a fact.

RiP Trevor and sad condolences to your family.


Posted 09 Nov 2017 at 20:51

Forgive me for taking so long to send my heartfelt sympathies, I’ve been in denial land so not on here. You have been so very kind & encouraging to me & I cannot thank you enough for that & for sharing your journey with Trevor & your dear boys. All I can do is wish you peace, the comfort of love from those who surround you, strength for the coming changes & hope for brighter days when the memories of the laughter outweigh the tears. Trevor & yourself will always be a part of so many of our journeys so he will never be forgotten. We will share stories with others of the The Legend Trevor & of his remarkable fire breathing wife whose boundless love and comfort blankets seeded rainbows in so many dark skies.
Love to you & your boys
Mel x

Posted 10 Nov 2017 at 09:13

dont post a lot ,but do read a lot i have followed trevors journey,just hope i can be as brave when my time comes.r.i.p. trevor.

Posted 23 Nov 2017 at 10:06

For those wondering, today will be Trevor's funeral. It must seem like a long time to have to wait, especially for the boys and I think Julie will know that we are all holding her in our hearts.

Rest easy Turmeric T xxx

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

Posted 23 Nov 2017 at 10:38

Sending love to Julie and the boys x

Posted 23 Nov 2017 at 12:44

Sending love to you and the boys Julie. Despite the overwhelming sadness, I hope today brings some comfort and joyful reminders of your amazing man and your extraordinary and loving relationship.


Ruth xxx

Posted 23 Nov 2017 at 18:43

Just picked up Lyn's post as I have been out all day.

I too hope that the day went as well as these thing do and that you and the boys drew some comfort from the love I am sure everyone showed you all.

Your big hearted, giant of a man will always be in your heart and minds

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
Posted 23 Nov 2017 at 19:03

Thoughts are with you and your boys ,I have read many of your posts with awe and can't thank you enough for sharing your journey with us all ,
Best wishes
Debby x

Posted 26 Nov 2017 at 20:38


My deepest condolences to you and your family, you are so brave and so loved by all for sharing your journey, and dealing with the fears many hold, so very brave, words fail me, but thank you..



Posted 28 Nov 2017 at 00:40
Well today is my Birthday 59 years young and feeling more like 109 at the moment this is the first birthday without Trevor in over twenty years and one of our first withought him of the tick list.

Next is James 18th birthday and then XMas so our train is still speeding along , “ life or the lack of it is a very strange thing “

None of us know what we have in store .

A very dear friend in fact my best friend has also just lost her partner they also have a 14 year old son , our lives have always been in in sync. Her partner Carl a bit of a lad although not a lad 60 years old and should have been more sensible left the pub at 12 am on the 18th Nov decided to ride home on his bike and for some reason stopped by the Sea Wall ( probably for a tiddle ) the police suspect he slipped on the rocks at high tide . His bike and phone where found on the wall and his body was found by the breakwater at 3.30 am .

He lived his life on the wild side and departed the same way.

It has made me reflect on so many things , yes Trevor defied the odds time and time again but can I say hand on heart that the last 4 plus years have been good years honestly I have to say no it’s been a long hard road that has been full of stress , worry , and sadnesses.

When you know from the beginning there is no hope then it is just a sad journey until you reach the finale destination..

If I had to choose between a quick slip on the rocks like Carl or a prolonged illness like Trevor I know which one I would choose.

My boys have made me so proud those boys that I was so terrified of losing there dad 4 years ago are almost men , James helped carry his dad to his finale resting place and Zack helped choose the music .

So we had Trevor entering to James Brown ( he would have loved that ) James Brown the Boss. Leaving was “ I feel Good Nina Sinome “

There was no flowers other than DAD from the boys and G DADDY from the grandchildren he would never allow them to call him grandad he always insisted on G DADDY.

Donations where given to pcuk instead of flowers.

I just want to say although this is the end of our journey and OMG what a journey it has been it is going to be hard to leave I am not really sure how or when I will be able to leave you guys behind , maybe I will just linger awhile until I feel ready , you have been such a big part of mylife for so long I am going to feel lost withought you


Julie X

Posted 28 Nov 2017 at 00:55

The funeral sounds brilliant Julie - and a perfect choice of music. Birthday wishes from me and huge thanks for your company over the past year. You have been a candle in the darkness for so many people (and a whole bonfire for Trevor). Please do stay in touch so that we can attempt to return the favour as you and the boys start this new journey.

Lots of love

Ruth xxx

Posted 28 Nov 2017 at 08:28

Dear Julie,

Firstly I hope you have something nice planned for your birthday. I imagine it will be such a strange and bitter sweet day, with memories of previous birthdays.

There's no problem with hanging around. You have your boys but I guess apart from them you often wonder what purpose there is in your life? Eventually your life takes a different shape and you may, or may not, want to stay here.

There’s no easy answers is there, whether we have years of fighting or an ending like Carl's? You have had such a journey and been so strong for Trevor and the boys, you now need to take care of you as much as you can, Janet, x

Posted 28 Nov 2017 at 11:17

Dear Julie

It sounds like you and your boys did Trevor proud with the funeral. Now you are into this strange life of trying to find a different way forward than the one you had planned. Carry on posting if it feels right for you. I found it helped but gradually posted less as time went by.

Look after yourself and your boys. Sending best wishes for your birthday

Rosy x

Posted 28 Nov 2017 at 16:00

Best wishes for the future to you and yours. As you say as one journey ends another one begins so if you do decide to leave this forum then thanks for all the comments/advice you and Trevor have given us in the past. Take care. J.

Posted 28 Nov 2017 at 17:11

Birthday thoughts and wishes Julie on what must be a sad day though it is supposed to be your own special day.

I hope you and your boys managed to get some pleasure out of it,among all the sad memories.

Even if the time comes when you think you're ready to leave the site, you'll never leave us, because you and Trevor will always be remembered for your love and fortitude towards each other but especially for you Julie for the way you help others still on their journey.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, hopes and dreams with us as well as Trevor's final journey.

Take care of yourself and your boys. No longer boys though eh? but young men to be proud of


We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
Posted 29 Nov 2017 at 23:10
Julie my love

Only leave here when it’s the right time, you will know when that is. You’ve been a hugely important member here, bringing laughter through the terrible sadness and joy through the nightmare we’ve been living through. As you know John and I continue to live through our journey, it’s not much fun and I know exactly what you mean when you say you wouldn’t choose it, me neither. I couldn’t love my man more, but oh, how this illness has changed my life it’s not something I relish.

Iknow your lovely boys will be OK, they have a lioness of a mum to show them the way. They will make their way in life and make you proud, or even more proud than they do now. As you stare into the future you must wonder what it might bring, me too. Let’s hope it’s all good.

Think of you often Julie, Hugs

Love and best wishes

Devonmaid xxx

Edited by member 30 Nov 2017 at 08:42  | Reason: Not specified

Posted 30 Nov 2017 at 11:32
Julie sincere condolances to you and your family, you sound like you gave trevor the send off and celebration of his life he so well desereved, ive followed your journey with tears and laughter at your humour, your such a brave woman and youve helped others with your advice and sharing your experiences to us on the start of this rocky road ahead, just sending lots of love.joxx
Posted 01 Dec 2017 at 17:06

xxxxhugsxxxx you need them.

Posted 01 Dec 2017 at 17:10
Julie. Simply gutted. Simply effin gutted.

Love peace and understanding.

Your's and Trevor's longstanding forum friend.


Posted 10 Dec 2017 at 21:40

Haven't signed in for quite a while as couldn't face it all after losing my man to this awful disease on Christmas Day last year. Signed in tonight just to check up how Trevor was doing. So sorry to hear you have both lost the battle Julie. God bless. My thoughts are with you and the boys.xx


"You can only play the hand you're dealt"

Posted 24 Dec 2017 at 22:01
I have thought long and hard on how to bring this thread to a close it has been such a part of my life for so long and you all have been my crutch and support system for so long .

I will still pop in every now and then to check up on everyone .

I couldn’t think of the best way to end this thread and then suddenly today it came to me , of course it’s XMas eve and what better way to honour Trevor and my boys .

So here goes .

There stockings are hung by the chimney with care

But all they wanted was for there Dad to be there

I’ve made there hot chocolate

With marshmallows and care

But all they wanted was for there dad to be there

The table is set with love and with care

But it’s not the same because there Dads not there



Julie X

Posted 24 Dec 2017 at 22:18

John and I have all our family round us and are looking forward to a lovely Christmas but a little bit of our hearts will be with you and the boys Julie xxxx

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

Posted 24 Dec 2017 at 22:31
Julie, I totally understand why you may chose not to post on this thread again but this thread will never "close" because what you have shared over the years has been and will be an example of how determination and passion can give hope to so many. I remain determined to give this bu@@er of a disease as much of a run for its money as I can in part because of what I have read in your posts. Trevor's legacy lives on. Thank you both, I hope that you and the boys will find some joy over Xmas as you will only have 25/12/2017 once in your lives.

Take care, Kev

Dream like you have forever, live like you only have today Avatar is me doing the 600 mile Camino de Santiago May 2019

Posted 24 Dec 2017 at 23:07

We”ve not stopped thinking of you Julie to be honest. Simply lost for thoughtful or kind things to say that may make a difference. I have been on here long enough now to see many good people pass and it’s quite frightening. Elaine and I are sending love and strength and a very bright future to the whole family , especially the boys who have the mum-of -the -world to hold their hands. Thank you so much for all your candid input xxxx

Posted 25 Dec 2017 at 00:14

Dear Julie

I know how much you and your boys want their dad to be sharing this Christmas with you all.

He was such a tremendous part of your lives, such a big hero of a man for the way he fought to stay with you all.

He is at peace and although it will take time for you and your sons to find your own peace, your Giant will always remain with you all and I hope that, in time, you will gain comfort from your happy memories.

I'm thinking of you now as we begin this special day of the year and I thank you for sharing your hopes and dreams and for just being the strong person you are.

Your boys have lost their dad. They are lucky in their mum.

I wish you comfort and quietness and acceptance.

Look after yourself.

Best Wishes

Sandra XX

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
Posted 25 Dec 2017 at 01:42
Hi Julie,

You have been such an inspiration to me and many others in their battle against this dreadful disease.

I will miss your posts more that I can say. You always showed courage when faced with impossible odds and managed to remain positive even in the darkest times. Trevor was so lucky to have you by his side.

I understand you must move on and give your boys the all the love and support you can. That's all we can do when we loose someone we love. They are the future now and the spirit and charactor of Trevor will live on in their lives.

My one wish is that I can show the same strength and courage in dealing with, what will be, a very difficult year ahead.

Thank you, Julie, for all you have given us.

Steve xx

Posted 25 Dec 2017 at 17:49

Thinking of you and your family at Christmas Julie. Look ins here will always be welcome when you feel so inclined.

Posted 18 Dec 2018 at 23:39

So just over a year on since Trevors passing and just a short time until xmas , i have changed my avatar ( sorry guys ) 

this is Trevors grandbaby born in Feb little Reon who is thankfully totaly unaware of the importance of his birth he is amaxing and so much like his grandad .

of course Trevor would have insisted he be called G Daddy because grandad was never in his vocabulary.


for any newbies reading this i am going to try and condence our 4 and half years on this forum , Trevor was diagnosed with late stage pca . spread to ribs / pelvis / spine . psa of 13000 .

He survived 4 and half years not all ups i have to be honest but like Mahoomed Alli he came out fighting and continuied untill the last round .

you can read our story on my thread .

for all of the many friends on here i know i always say this but over the years every reply has meant so much to me you guys will never know how much you carried me . 

so the last year what can i say , well i have survived so thats good news, im still alive and still fighting on my sense of humour is coming back so watch this space.

The boys are myworld and make me proud and Trevors memory everyday . James is at Uni / so just myself and Zack at home know .

I just want to give thanks to the forum sometimes people dont realise that those people that respond are going through tough times themselves 

Merry Xmas to my oldies and Merry XMas to any newbies .

love you all old amd new xxx

Posted 19 Dec 2018 at 02:26
Great to hear from you, your grandson Reon looks just perfect ,

Best wishes to you and your family .


Posted 19 Dec 2018 at 06:21
Lovely to hear from you Julie. Enjoy Xmas as much as you all can xx
Posted 19 Dec 2018 at 06:48

Hi Julie.  Have a great Xmas with your family. I am sure you will be remembering Trevor with lots of laughter and yes some tears. I am a relative newbie to the site as my husband was just embarking on his" journey" ( I do hate that term! ) when Trevor was very ill.

I did read Trevor's story and it frightened me silly at the time as I was so naive and thought that would be my Tony in due course. I know now of course that everyone's journey is different but does make me realise how cruel this disease can be.

The thing that did hearten me however was you and Trevor's courage and good humour throughout it all. You came across as a wonderful couple and I'm sure you are a great mum and G nanny.


Best wishes 


Posted 19 Dec 2018 at 07:42


Really great to hear from you again, keep going girl. 

Thanks Chris

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