Well today is my Birthday 59 years young and feeling more like 109 at the moment this is the first birthday without Trevor in over twenty years and one of our first withought him of the tick list.
Next is James 18th birthday and then XMas so our train is still speeding along , “ life or the lack of it is a very strange thing “
None of us know what we have in store .
A very dear friend in fact my best friend has also just lost her partner they also have a 14 year old son , our lives have always been in in sync. Her partner Carl a bit of a lad although not a lad 60 years old and should have been more sensible left the pub at 12 am on the 18th Nov decided to ride home on his bike and for some reason stopped by the Sea Wall ( probably for a tiddle ) the police suspect he slipped on the rocks at high tide . His bike and phone where found on the wall and his body was found by the breakwater at 3.30 am .
He lived his life on the wild side and departed the same way.
It has made me reflect on so many things , yes Trevor defied the odds time and time again but can I say hand on heart that the last 4 plus years have been good years honestly I have to say no it’s been a long hard road that has been full of stress , worry , and sadnesses.
When you know from the beginning there is no hope then it is just a sad journey until you reach the finale destination..
If I had to choose between a quick slip on the rocks like Carl or a prolonged illness like Trevor I know which one I would choose.
My boys have made me so proud those boys that I was so terrified of losing there dad 4 years ago are almost men , James helped carry his dad to his finale resting place and Zack helped choose the music .
So we had Trevor entering to James Brown ( he would have loved that ) James Brown the Boss. Leaving was “ I feel Good Nina Sinome “
There was no flowers other than DAD from the boys and G DADDY from the grandchildren he would never allow them to call him grandad he always insisted on G DADDY.
Donations where given to pcuk instead of flowers.
I just want to say although this is the end of our journey and OMG what a journey it has been it is going to be hard to leave I am not really sure how or when I will be able to leave you guys behind , maybe I will just linger awhile until I feel ready , you have been such a big part of mylife for so long I am going to feel lost withought you