Advanced prostat cancer part 2

RIP Trevor

Roy xx

Dear Julie,

I am absolutely gutted to hear of Trevor's passing.

Never in my 12+ years on the PCUK forums have I witnessed such a very long and so difficult a battle by such a courageous man.
He was a hero, and we all wished he'd continue to defy the overwhelming odds for even longer.

We salute a truly outstanding man who inspired us all.

Julie, our hearts go out to you and your boys today.

You shared with us every up and down over the years and yet never lost your unique feisty spirit and so often you were still able to type so many 'laugh out loud' postings.

Only you could have written these moving lines about the love of your life:
You summed up everything in so few words.

Trevor
The Man
The Myth
The Legend
Has left the building.

We all love you, and wish you all the strength in the world to get through this sad sad time.

REST IN PEACE NOW TREVOR

George & Lynn

Julie

I'll make sure there are prayers for you all.

Julie,

My sincere condolences, what a fight, what a guy!

Flexi

Thoughts are with you and your family at this sad time .
Debby

Words are not enough.
RIP.
Trevor.

My heart breaks for you and your boys Julie. What a wonderful woman and support you have been to your man.
Rest in peace Trevor xx

BFN

Julie X

Not mentioning names but Si I am looking at you X

Julie you are one Orrsome lady.

I wrote this poem about 6 weeks ago for a friend struggling after the loss of his wife. I know you won't find it inappropriate for you or your family.

I am deeply sorry for your loss.

xoxxx Mo

Ours is not to reason why

it matters not how hard we try

we can hide under that darkened sky

or spread our wings and learn to fly

Our grief isn't measured by our tears

nor time constrained by months or years

the smallest things can make us cry

yet ours is not to reason why?

each day we start with good intent

to try and simply re -invent

but that is living in a lie

For ours is not to reason why.

So we change the question to simply how?

and take one step forward in our here and now.

⚘

Julie
Forgive me for taking so long to send my heartfelt sympathies, I’ve been in denial land so not on here. You have been so very kind & encouraging to me & I cannot thank you enough for that & for sharing your journey with Trevor & your dear boys. All I can do is wish you peace, the comfort of love from those who surround you, strength for the coming changes & hope for brighter days when the memories of the laughter outweigh the tears. Trevor & yourself will always be a part of so many of our journeys so he will never be forgotten. We will share stories with others of the The Legend Trevor & of his remarkable fire breathing wife whose boundless love and comfort blankets seeded rainbows in so many dark skies.
Love to you & your boys
Mel x

For those wondering, today will be Trevor's funeral. It must seem like a long time to have to wait, especially for the boys and I think Julie will know that we are all holding her in our hearts.

Rest easy Turmeric T xxx

Sending love to you and the boys Julie. Despite the overwhelming sadness, I hope today brings some comfort and joyful reminders of your amazing man and your extraordinary and loving relationship.

Hugs

Ruth xxx

Thoughts are with you and your boys ,I have read many of your posts with awe and can't thank you enough for sharing your journey with us all ,
Best wishes
Debby x

Next is James 18th birthday and then XMas so our train is still speeding along , “ life or the lack of it is a very strange thing “

None of us know what we have in store .

A very dear friend in fact my best friend has also just lost her partner they also have a 14 year old son , our lives have always been in in sync. Her partner Carl a bit of a lad although not a lad 60 years old and should have been more sensible left the pub at 12 am on the 18th Nov decided to ride home on his bike and for some reason stopped by the Sea Wall ( probably for a tiddle ) the police suspect he slipped on the rocks at high tide . His bike and phone where found on the wall and his body was found by the breakwater at 3.30 am .

He lived his life on the wild side and departed the same way.

It has made me reflect on so many things , yes Trevor defied the odds time and time again but can I say hand on heart that the last 4 plus years have been good years honestly I have to say no it’s been a long hard road that has been full of stress , worry , and sadnesses.

When you know from the beginning there is no hope then it is just a sad journey until you reach the finale destination..

If I had to choose between a quick slip on the rocks like Carl or a prolonged illness like Trevor I know which one I would choose.

My boys have made me so proud those boys that I was so terrified of losing there dad 4 years ago are almost men , James helped carry his dad to his finale resting place and Zack helped choose the music .

So we had Trevor entering to James Brown ( he would have loved that ) James Brown the Boss. Leaving was “ I feel Good Nina Sinome “

There was no flowers other than DAD from the boys and G DADDY from the grandchildren he would never allow them to call him grandad he always insisted on G DADDY.

Donations where given to pcuk instead of flowers.

I just want to say although this is the end of our journey and OMG what a journey it has been it is going to be hard to leave I am not really sure how or when I will be able to leave you guys behind , maybe I will just linger awhile until I feel ready , you have been such a big part of mylife for so long I am going to feel lost withought you

BFN

Julie X

Dear Julie,

Firstly I hope you have something nice planned for your birthday. I imagine it will be such a strange and bitter sweet day, with memories of previous birthdays.

There's no problem with hanging around. You have your boys but I guess apart from them you often wonder what purpose there is in your life? Eventually your life takes a different shape and you may, or may not, want to stay here.

There’s no easy answers is there, whether we have years of fighting or an ending like Carl's? You have had such a journey and been so strong for Trevor and the boys, you now need to take care of you as much as you can, Janet, x

Julie
Best wishes for the future to you and yours. As you say as one journey ends another one begins so if you do decide to leave this forum then thanks for all the comments/advice you and Trevor have given us in the past. Take care. J.

Only leave here when it’s the right time, you will know when that is. You’ve been a hugely important member here, bringing laughter through the terrible sadness and joy through the nightmare we’ve been living through. As you know John and I continue to live through our journey, it’s not much fun and I know exactly what you mean when you say you wouldn’t choose it, me neither. I couldn’t love my man more, but oh, how this illness has changed my life it’s not something I relish.

Iknow your lovely boys will be OK, they have a lioness of a mum to show them the way. They will make their way in life and make you proud, or even more proud than they do now. As you stare into the future you must wonder what it might bring, me too. Let’s hope it’s all good.

Think of you often Julie, Hugs

Love and best wishes

Devonmaid xxx

Edited by member 30 Nov 2017 at 08:42  | Reason: Not specified

xxxxhugsxxxx you need them.

Haven't signed in for quite a while as couldn't face it all after losing my man to this awful disease on Christmas Day last year. Signed in tonight just to check up how Trevor was doing. So sorry to hear you have both lost the battle Julie. God bless. My thoughts are with you and the boys.xx

John and I have all our family round us and are looking forward to a lovely Christmas but a little bit of our hearts will be with you and the boys Julie xxxx

We”ve not stopped thinking of you Julie to be honest. Simply lost for thoughtful or kind things to say that may make a difference. I have been on here long enough now to see many good people pass and it’s quite frightening. Elaine and I are sending love and strength and a very bright future to the whole family , especially the boys who have the mum-of -the -world to hold their hands. Thank you so much for all your candid input xxxx

You have been such an inspiration to me and many others in their battle against this dreadful disease.

I will miss your posts more that I can say. You always showed courage when faced with impossible odds and managed to remain positive even in the darkest times. Trevor was so lucky to have you by his side.

I understand you must move on and give your boys the all the love and support you can. That's all we can do when we loose someone we love. They are the future now and the spirit and charactor of Trevor will live on in their lives.

My one wish is that I can show the same strength and courage in dealing with, what will be, a very difficult year ahead.

Thank you, Julie, for all you have given us.

Steve xx

So just over a year on since Trevors passing and just a short time until xmas , i have changed my avatar ( sorry guys ) 

this is Trevors grandbaby born in Feb little Reon who is thankfully totaly unaware of the importance of his birth he is amaxing and so much like his grandad .

of course Trevor would have insisted he be called G Daddy because grandad was never in his vocabulary.

for any newbies reading this i am going to try and condence our 4 and half years on this forum , Trevor was diagnosed with late stage pca . spread to ribs / pelvis / spine . psa of 13000 .

He survived 4 and half years not all ups i have to be honest but like Mahoomed Alli he came out fighting and continuied untill the last round .

you can read our story on my thread .

for all of the many friends on here i know i always say this but over the years every reply has meant so much to me you guys will never know how much you carried me . 

so the last year what can i say , well i have survived so thats good news, im still alive and still fighting on my sense of humour is coming back so watch this space.

The boys are myworld and make me proud and Trevors memory everyday . James is at Uni / so just myself and Zack at home know .

I just want to give thanks to the forum sometimes people dont realise that those people that respond are going through tough times themselves 

Merry Xmas to my oldies and Merry XMas to any newbies .

love you all old amd new xxx

Julie 

Really great to hear from you again, keep going girl. 

Thanks Chris