Advanced prostat cancer part 2

User

Posted 26 Dec 2016 at 09:18

Hi Julie,

Can't offer much to you apart from my sincerest heart felt empathy. I understand how hard it is to keep holding up a good front for the family. But even the strongest of us can't be strong all the time. I know his timing for the tears was not good but he must be aloud to let the emotion out. Maybe you will have a better day today, I am sincerely hoping so for you all.

Sending you Positive thoughts and a big hug Julie.

Take care.

Lesley xxxx

User

Posted 26 Dec 2016 at 10:07

Julie

This time of year always reminds me of our mortality, I know you will keep going girl. Lots of hugs and support.

Thanks Chris

User

Posted 26 Dec 2016 at 10:45

Yesterday must have been so hard with all the added pressure of Christmas. I hope you have an easier and more relaxed day today x

User

Posted 26 Dec 2016 at 11:11

Oh I do feel for you Julie - so very hard for you all. We've still got a way to go before we have to cope with what you are dealing with but I do know how it feels to keep that 'everything's ok' mask in place - especially after the awful few weeks Trevor had in the lead-up to Christmas. I know that Macmillan haven't come through for you yet but when they do maybe you (and Trevor? and the boys?) could book a counseling session just so you could have a place/space to cry. You are amazingly strong but this is more than anyone can bear.

Thinking of you and sending shedloads of hugs and love.

Eleanor

xxxx

User

Posted 26 Dec 2016 at 12:57

Dear Julie,

I am so sorry to hear how hard things are for you, Trevor and the boys.

It breaks my heart reading it, and like probably every one of your friends here, feel helpless, frustrated and yes, angry too because this damn disease takes such a heavy toll on people we really care about.

You must feel under unbearable pressure, but I'm glad you can post about your true feelings here.

So many of us have been lifted time and time again by your wonderful words (often so funny, even in the midst of anguish).

You know we all love you all to bits and wish you strength and peace of heart to carry on.

Warmest wishes always,

George & Lynn

B2PCa

User

Posted 26 Dec 2016 at 20:53

Hi julie

As you know I've been away from the forum whilst having a 2016 meltdown but I do pop in to see how things are for you and your amazing man and wonderful boys. It looks like you've had a horrible time recently but once again the miracle man makes an amazing turnaround. We know it can't last (can it?), we will be with you every step of the way. Your son is a proper brain box, I'm sure he gets it from his mother, wonder if he's got your comic timing too?

Personally, I can't wait to see the back of this year, I know it's only a day but hurry up New Year and bring us all better news.

I am a bit shocked at the lack of support from Macmillan, we have home visits from our hospice nurse, she's so helpful in dealing with the GP who admits he's no expert on cancer iand our current problems. She's so kind and manages to get John moving and cheers him up, I wish you could have the same support.

Big hugs Julie

Love Devonmaid xxxx

User

Posted 26 Dec 2016 at 23:22

Julie I am so sorry. You said in a previous post we are on the same roller coaster and you are so right. Mike also had a melt down on Christmas morning it is so hard trying to make your man feel okay, what can you say! and at the same time putting a smile on your face for the rest of the family when you just want to cry yourself. Today has been a better day for me I do hope it has been for you and your boys.

Big hugs look after yourself

Love Molly xx

User

Posted 27 Dec 2016 at 09:50

Julie,

Just wanted to send my love and let you know that I'm thinking of you.

I had a similar time on Christmas Eve (my birthday) when our youngest grandson was rushed into hospital. I couldn't stop crying and had to hide myself away. I think all the worries and stress that I'd been bottling up suddenly came out. I felt so low. Fortunately our grandson was released in time for Christmas day. Turns out that a rapid rise in temperature had caused him to fit several times. It can happen with babies. Thank God it wasn't more serious.

Christmas aways seems to be a time when we find things surface that we are trying to put to the back of our minds. I think it's because we are reminded of the love we feel for those around us and the love they feel for us.

I hope things become easier for you all.

Steve xxx

User

Posted 27 Dec 2016 at 16:17

Julie, I saw your latest post soon after you sent it, but it made me so sad that I simply couldn't think what to say. It is all so horribly familiar to me, and however brave and positive you and Trevor are, you know, as we did, how it's going to end. Special dates such as Christmas, birthdays, etc sometimes only heighten your emotions as you compare them with previous, happier occasions you shared before it all started to go wrong.
I hope things will settle down for you all a bit now that you've got Christmas out of the way. New Year can be safely ignored, and that's probably the best thing to do with it if you can.

Keep in touch - you have been so generous with your support and words of encouragement to others that there's a big pool of collective goodwill and kind thoughts here for you to tap into when you need them.
Marje

User

Posted 27 Dec 2016 at 17:34

What more can I add that hasn't already been said, xxxxhugsxxxx

Earlier in the year you didn't expect Trevor to see this Christmas, well he made it, so well done to all of you,xxxxx

But our prayers continue, as the next milestone is The New Year, then Easter.............

Keep your spirits up lass you have lots of friends here rooting for you.

With love, Chris and Shirley. xxxxhugsxxxx. XxxxhugsxxxX

User

Posted 27 Dec 2016 at 18:19

What can I say that has not already been said, love to you and Trevor. Thinking of you both constantly. Hug often, Kev

Dream like you have forever, live like you only have today Avatar is me doing the 600 mile Camino de Santiago May 2019

User

Posted 27 Dec 2016 at 18:56

Lighting a candle, sending Spartacus' strength and wishing you both well.

Bazza

User

Posted 29 Dec 2016 at 00:36

Well what's happening in our household in True British Style we have managed to pull ourselves together hitch up our britches and carry on. There really was only two alternatives pull the quilt over our heads in self pity or get on with life.

So although unspoken it was a kind of let's open the sweetie tins and move on. So the after eight mints and the cadburys Rosie's have taken a bit of a bashing but hey that's Xmas isn't it.

So things are a little bit more like normal in as much as we are ignoring the elephant in the room and oh boy is that elephant huge but Xmas is even huger when you have children.

I say things are more like normal well I suppose for us our emergency trip to the vet today is pretty normal . It would be crazy for most other families but for us just an ordinary day.

I have to back track on this story so firstly to set the scene I am a very well respected Breeder of Cocker Spaniels (as some of you will know) I don't agree with all of these cross breeds , Cocker Jacks, Cocker Poos, and all of the other weirdly named cross breeds out there that people charge huge amounts of money for what is essentially a mongrel.

So enter Tulip our Bull Terrier who had her season about 6 weeks ago and I have noticed over the last few weeks that she has been gaining weight and also been suspiciously subdued .

So the thought that I might be the first person ever to produce the very first out cross between a Bull Terrier and a Cocker Spaniel was not only terrifying but would have been so embarrassing.😱

So emergency scan results are we are not , I say not expecting a litter of BULL COCKS and it is probably a phantom pregnancy . (Pheeewwww)

My vet didn't charge me for the scan he was doubled up laughing when he said what would you call them after I told him BULL COCKS he said I should be charging him for the laugh. Can you imagine the que of plumbers trying to but them😆

So just a day in the life of us, it is more like Monty Python our lives.

I always cook a roast lamb dinner with all of the trimmings on New Years Day followed by charades so Trevor is not up for charades so I am going to order board games instead . This will be our next big hurdle.

Wishing Xmas and new year away is so hard but I always think in our hardest times there are children out there suffering from cancer , children who have been in hospital over the Xmas , there are many who were not at home to open the Rosie's tin.

BFN

Julie X

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON

User

Posted 29 Dec 2016 at 09:18

Glad to hear you were able to make the most of your Christmas, even though you are having to adjust your activities and your expectations. It's all you can do, and it's part of a long, painful process. In a way, New Year is harder to face, with all that looking back and looking forward, but then again, it's an occasion that's easier to ignore. Hope Trevor is still enjoying his meals, at least that's something you can take pleasure in together.

Soon there will be more daylight and brightness to cheer us all.

(((Big New Year hug)))

Marje

User

Posted 29 Dec 2016 at 09:19

Thanks for the laugh Julie,

I can't picture what a CockerBull would have looked like. Since most folk seem to buy the cross breeds on the basis of cuteness you may well have been left with a full litter (unless you hyped it up some way and made it the in thing for acting as a plumber's mate!!

I don't know where you all get your strength from, can't be the Roses as that's a Christmas indulgence. Whatever it is it's a shame it can't be bottled.

Now in that case they would fly off the shelves.

Keep smiling, hard as it is. XXXXXX

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

User

Posted 29 Dec 2016 at 21:35

Hi Julie

Cocker bulls or bull Cocks!! Lol. It's lovely to hear you've managed to lift your spirits again and back to having "normal" days. It's a tough old journey which is impossible to always stay on an even keel. I think it's good to let yourselves crash and let all that pent up emotion out. Then you can refocus your energies and move on again.

Enjoy your roast lamb dinner with all the trimmings!

Take care

Lesley xx

User

Posted 03 Jan 2017 at 18:26

I love you, crazy lady - I can't bear all the insensitive sods that have sent me Christmas cards with comments like 'hope this is your best one yet' or 'have a great new year' .... wtf? So I am not going to wish you a happy new year, simply that whatever 2017 brings you, we will be here xxx

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User

Posted 03 Jan 2017 at 22:25

I Love you to Lyn some one who actually gets it . I understand that most people don't know what to say but so many have wished us a merry Christmas and a happy new year . I find it unbelievable and so totatally unthinking. In fact there has been no thought at all.

In fact I may just go into designer cards for next year your WTF would be my inspiration.

The truth I can handle , some one who hand picked me a WTF card would make me smile.

So New Year's Day I bottled it guys I chickened out , I did cook the whole lamb roast but I didn't set the table or make any reference to Happy New Year . It was. A kinda cook , eat and run . A bit like the film chicken run but with lamb.

Trevor couldn't actually eat the lamb or the roast potatoes or the Yorkshire puds so it was a good job I went all out with the side dishes . His mouth is so sore with the extra bone growth that eating anything that requires any effort to chew is impossible.

New Years Eve his face swelled up with abscesses so I rang 111 and managed to get an emergency appointment for him to see a dr at our local small hospital. He was prescribed antibiotics. Upshot is as of today his face is still so swollen that I rang the gp again to say the antibiotics aren't working . They refused to see him and said he had to see his dentist.

So he has had to get dressed and drive himself to the dentist who has given him different antibiotics.

Still no contact from McMillan

Happy 2017

BFN

Julie X

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON

User

Posted 04 Jan 2017 at 03:40

Here I am awake at 03.30 feeling pretty p****d off about something which, in the wider scheme of life is annoying, aggravating and downright unfair, and for something to do whilst my cocoa cools I come on here and read your message.

Your life puts my whines to shame.

Yes, I can tackle big business and I will, but really does it matter compared to what you are going through.

As usual you are in my thoughts Julie and Trevor. I won't wish you a Happy New Year either, since it can't be - won't be.

I hope I'll be allowed to wish you strength though and a measure of calm acceptance.

With love and heartfelt best wishes to you all

Sandra

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

User

Posted 14 Jan 2017 at 18:15

I am going to make this a very quick update before the server goes down again 😄

So after the emotional and physical dramas over the last few weeks what can I say this man of mine has rallied beyond belief, the slow release morphine has enabled him to be back up on his feet, driving and he has just been outside lighting a bonfire.

I have said this many times on here he is obviously not human and quite how he does it I will never know.

Second Raduim was last Tue (drove himself there and back)

I can now see our 4 year Canservasory in May in sight ok he won't be attempting Britains Strongest man or Running a Marothon any time soon but for know the Dingy is patched and we are rowing towards the shore.

BFN

Julie X

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON

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