First of all I just wanted to say how gutting it must be to be told that you can't have this op in Wales without paying £10,000 !! Ludicrous !
Like all the other wives here I fully understand what you're going through.
My husband had RALP on 21st March of this year. He had only been diagnosed a few weeks earlier in January, so in his case things had moved along very quickly. Thankfully after MRI's, blood tests , biopsy's etc the results came back showing a very low PSA count of just 1:2.... of the 21 core samples taken only 4 showed signs of cancer and a Gleason score of 6.
His specialist nurse gave us various different options to consider, but he decided there and then he wanted it out !! quick sharp !!
Our local hospital didn't have the facilities for RALP so he was referred to UCH in London. From being diagnosed to having the op was just a matter of weeks, which in one way was good, less time to dwell on things, but in another way it meant he had little time to start PF exercises.
We didn't even stop to think of the after effects re. incontienece. etc. Thankfully the operation was a complete success and he was home the very next day with catheter insitu. The catheter drove him nuts I have to say, not because it was painful , it was just uncomfortable for him and he said ( in his words ) it made him feel like an old man...I had to remind him he was an old man , being as he is 66 http://community.prostatecanceruk.org/editors/tiny_mce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-wink.gif..anyways long story short.....the catheter was removed after 10 days at our local hospital and at first things were very good. After about a week or so he seemed to use a lot more pads although he'd been completely dry of a night and whilst sitting since having the TWOC.
I won't lie to you, it did get him down, but now, some 9 weeks on we are seeing light at the end of the tunnel. For the past week he's been more or less dry with just the occasional leak, but things look so much better than they did a few weeks ago.
On the erections issue ( I'm blushing here as I'm old school ) well I really don't know, as we haven't gone down that route yet ( as far as I know ).
If any of our experience can help, please just give us a shout.