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Dads small cell cancer

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User
Posted 13 Sep 2017 at 10:40
Dear Paula, I am sure your frank posts over the last few years will have helped so many, but I understand your thoughts. And yes, I am sure your posts will inspire. There is a lot more hope, and a lot more known now, about this particular type of cancer than when my husband died from it. Almost eight years ago the timescale was classed as a year at very most.

I hope keeping the garden pristine and looking after your mum gives your life a purpose. This is what can so easily be missing in the confused early stages of grief. But more importantly you need to make sure you and your mum take care of yourselves. You will both be shattered emotionally - take care of you first, it is so important.

I hope in time the photos become comforting. In time I learned to focus on the majority of happy photos, rather than the few of the last weeks. Somehow we get through - our minds seem to only give us as much as we can cope with.

Take care, Janet, x

User
Posted 14 Sep 2017 at 17:46

We have set up.a just giving page for prostate cancer UK.Dad would he loved this as he did a charity event for the cause a couple of years ago.xx Paula

User
Posted 15 Sep 2017 at 04:27
Paula,

I'm so sad to read of your Dad's passing.

May he rest in peace.

He was so lucky to have such a loving daughter. You couldn't have done any more. I'm sure you brought great comfort to him.

Take care.

Steve

User
Posted 15 Sep 2017 at 14:49

Thank you Steve you have been so supportive over the years as one of my adopted brothers wrote a passage about how mum and Dad saved him from the care system but this bit struck a chord with me

'How conspicuously absent the book on life and death is I wish I had been able to read him this last chapter were it to hand but we all go into the unknown disarmed I hope though that his families love was a sound enough vessel for his voyage to the other shore.
If the currency were love and wishes for ease the ferryman was well paid indeed"
I love this and hope we can give Dad the best send off with his whole huge family gathered he would be loved to see us together
Take care Paula xx

User
Posted 17 Sep 2017 at 19:49
Oh Paula

I haven't been on for a while and am deeply saddened to read that your lovely dad has passed away. I know from my own experience of losing my mum and dad that the relief of them being out of pain overwrote my sorrow at losing them. I did have a delayed reaction to grief, I assume because of the initial relief but I would never want them back given the state they were in. I love dreaming about them and always feel that we remain connected that way, I feel the same about my sister who passed away this year, I've had some odd dreams where things that happened in real life have been sort of mentioned in my dreams, it feels like a connection remains with her too.

You have been through a pretty awful time, be kind to yourself and your mum and siblings, and hopefully in time, you will remember only the good days with dad. That's how it has worked out for me, memories of the final days are quite blurred and I see them in my minds eye as strong and healthy and it makes me happy.

Hugs

Devonmaid xxxx

User
Posted 18 Sep 2017 at 10:12

I'm so sorry to be reading your sad news Paula,

My condolences to you and your family

Viv
X

The only time you should look back is to see how far you have come
User
Posted 18 Sep 2017 at 20:57
Dear Paula,

I am so sorry to hear that your Dad has died.

I only started following your posts recently but they have really given hope to Tony and I.

Take care

Sue

User
Posted 19 Sep 2017 at 20:30

Thank you all so much especially Devenmaid who has followed Dads story for years.The rugby club are honouring Dad with a minutess silence before Saturdays game.This is a rare thing for them to do.
I feel OK and hope this will remain the case although I'm prepared for some sadness that will hit me.
On a positive note Dad had years longer than prognosis even since 2015 when he was Given a few months:)
Mums doing OK really and I know the funeral is going to be emotional with all the family there.
Dad was loved by all that knew him.A kind considerate man.
I hope his long journey gives hope to others diagnosed with this rare type.xx Paula
I hope we can raise money for prostate cancer UK on mums just giving page too.

User
Posted 20 Sep 2017 at 07:46

Hi Charneygirl sorry for the late reply and I'm so sorry about your husband.I agree when my Dad was diagnosed there was little information.
In 2015 Dad was passing blood and was told it was in his kidneys.He was given months to live and assigned hospice at home.
He lived 2 1\2 years longer:)
I wish I hadn't wasted time fearing the worst but it is hard when you love someone so much.
Can your husband still enjoy some quality of life?Dad did plenty of things while he was able and watched d TV with mum when he felt exhausted.
I hope you and your husband have years ahead to make more memories love Paula xx

User
Posted 10 Oct 2017 at 17:27

Hello to all you lovely.people.
I hope you don't mind if I share Dads final journey with you.
We had two weeks to prepare.On the day its self my husband son and myself went to my parents home to collect Mum and follow Dad.
When the hearse arrived decked in our flowers.it looked lovely.The sun was shining on the kind of day dad would be taken endless photographs as he was a keen photographer.
The 40 min journey took us up hills and down lanes where autumn leaves rained down on the hearse like golden confetti.At the service my brother and nephew spoke.
Afterwards we had a huge turnout as Dad.was.well loved we went to a lovely pub on the river where I used to work.
We have all been coping well and looking after Mum who has been amazing.
I will post the total amount raised through just giving for Prostate cancer UK.
Much love to you all xx Paula

User
Posted 10 Oct 2017 at 17:48

That's lovely Paula. Take care of yourself.

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 10 Oct 2017 at 18:07

Thank you Paula, for sharing dad's last journey with us.

I'm so glad the sun shone for you all, it makes it so much easier to imagine your dad looking down and sending sunshine your way to let you all know he is fine.

XXXXX

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 10 Oct 2017 at 22:50

XxxxxxxxX
Paula it’s been a privilege to share your journey with you , whilst sad. I think you’ve been amazing and everything a parent could hope for. Look after your mum then start looking after yourself again.
Best wishes here forward ok

User
Posted 11 Oct 2017 at 00:11
A wonderful and lovely post Paula thank you for sharing your dads memory and last journey.

BFN

Julie X

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON
User
Posted 11 Oct 2017 at 15:05
Paula

I haven't logged into this site for months but for some reason today I just thought I should. Yours was the first thread I looked at. We shared so many ups and downs and chatted so much over the years I felt priviliged but very sad to have shared the journeys we made.

My hearfelt condolences to you and your family. You are a very special daughter.

Your Dad's final journey sounds beautiful, a wonderful life celebrated. I bet the front garden to start that journey did him proud too.

Sending you my warmest wishes for the future

xxx

Mo

User
Posted 11 Oct 2017 at 22:20

Thank you Mo.I wasn't sure if you left the site.I've been torn between Mum Dad and work the last few months.
Today I've been reflecting on the last month.Everyone's replies on here have meant so much in a situation others don't understand.I can't thank you all enough xx

User
Posted 23 Oct 2017 at 09:23
I’m so sorry for your loss. I was reading through your posts and seeing how similar this was to my dad who passed away the week before yours.

I hope you’re ok xx

User
Posted 26 Oct 2017 at 20:26

Hi bee bee.I am sorry for your loss.Dads are special aren't they?Mostly I've been fine just looking out for Mum and working hard.How are you?
I think I'm still at the relieved he isn't suffering stage tbh.
Please feel free to tell me about your lovely Dad and you can always PM me if you prefer.
Mum had a lovely letter from prostate cancer UK as e donations were to them when Dad died.Today I feel more sad that he has gone as I given a much loved top of his and it still smells like him Not in a bad way.
I hope you are taking comfort from tjhe fact you Dad isn't suffering anymore.xx Paula

User
Posted 16 Dec 2017 at 06:57

Wishing all you fantastic people on here a peaceful Christmas.I hope you make memories with your families.Love to all especially Lynn Devonmaid edanmo Nikon Steve Julie and Chris j and and Jill batty and Johanson xxx

User
Posted 17 Dec 2017 at 09:30

Thank you, and thinking of you, Paula. Wishing you, your mum and family peace and hoping your memories of times with your dad are comforting, albeit bittersweet, take care, Janet, x

 
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