Dear Paula, I am sure your frank posts over the last few years will have helped so many, but I understand your thoughts. And yes, I am sure your posts will inspire. There is a lot more hope, and a lot more known now, about this particular type of cancer than when my husband died from it. Almost eight years ago the timescale was classed as a year at very most.
I hope keeping the garden pristine and looking after your mum gives your life a purpose. This is what can so easily be missing in the confused early stages of grief. But more importantly you need to make sure you and your mum take care of yourselves. You will both be shattered emotionally - take care of you first, it is so important.
I hope in time the photos become comforting. In time I learned to focus on the majority of happy photos, rather than the few of the last weeks. Somehow we get through - our minds seem to only give us as much as we can cope with.
Take care, Janet, x