Life after sex

User

Posted 15 Jul 2015 at 16:16

I have recently re-married. Have been diagnosed with PC.

Do penis erections return to normal in ANY cases after surgery or is it somewhere between 70% and zero.

Many Thanks

Alan

User

Posted 17 Jul 2015 at 21:11

Quite interesting question from A with no replies. if you guys out there can not answer I know L will have the answer.

Thanks Chris

User

Posted 17 Jul 2015 at 22:16

15 months post op, I'd say naturally I'm around 50% but nowhere near enough for penetration. Here's hoping, though!

Paul

Stay Calm And Carry On.

User

Posted 17 Jul 2015 at 22:39

Hello and just to say welcome Alan.

I'm sure you'll get replies if you can just hang on.

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

User

Posted 18 Jul 2015 at 08:08

Pagey,

1, Will I be able to live and be able to enjoy a near normal life with my loved ones, whats my survival odds....good, bad , none at all !

2, sex life, should be somwhere down the bottom of the list ( you dont have to like this bit )

take it as it comes, there are no 100% guarantees as everyones cancer is different to the degree of disease they find, even the surgeons dont fully know until they get up close and personal,

everyones recovery time will be different too along with ED issues, some may take a few weeks others ( I'd say the majority) probably 1-3 years, recovery for most is a slow process, youre not in control of that, it will take as long as it takes, the quickest part is the surgery !

3, none of us volunteed for this disease, but we all have to find our own unique way of dealing with it

this is just my based on my personal experience , its not written in stone.....good luck

ps, yes some will regain full errections, again no ones given a guarantee !

Edited by member 18 Jul 2015 at 08:14 | Reason: Not specified

User

Posted 18 Jul 2015 at 08:38

Good morning Pagey,

What stage are you at with your PCa?

In answer to your question, some men get everything back, some men get nothing back. There is no clear answer.

If you are considering whether or not to have surgery, and worried about how this may affect your marriage, there are so many other factors to add to the mix before you choose? Your familial life expectancy for example?

dave

All we can do - is do all that we can.

So, do all you can to help yourself, then make the best of your time. :-)

I am the statistic.

User

Posted 18 Jul 2015 at 14:52

As Dave asks what is your staging? Have you been given the option of surgery?

If so have they mentioned nerve sparing? In order for you to have a realistic chance of 'natural' erectile functioning nerve sparing is the key.

What order your priorities are is purely a personal choice. There are men, some on here, who regret their treatment choices due to the side effects they are suffering. There are others who are happy to be cancer free whatever the consequences.

I told my surgeon to try and save my life whilst minimising side effects as much as he could. Was that the right thing to say, at the time I thought so but as it turned out he left a bit of cancer behind as he spared my nerves. I've had follow up treatment which statistically goes against me.

Some men will say cut wide and will deal with whatever side effects that leaves them with.

Be guided by your surgeon but make sure he/she is experienced in this procedure. Also download the toolkit from PCUK as that explains it all in more detail

Good luck

Bri

Edited by member 18 Jul 2015 at 14:54 | Reason: Not specified

User

Posted 02 Aug 2015 at 22:31

Pagey

According to this forum and our ED nurse, the answer is yes.

My OH is eight months post op. He has thickening, and sometimes semi erections at about 50%, but not enough for penetration.

He only had one nerve bundle saved.

When he was diagnosed, I did what you are doing now. With hindsight, I wish someone had told me that you can only deal with so much at a time. Try to concentrate on finding the best option to get rid of the cancer. Once you have done that, then concentrate on other issues.

Accept that, unless you are one of the lucky ones, your sex life will be different. Not necessarily worse, but almost certainly different. If you can accept this before you start, it will make it all much easier.

Good luck with whatever you choose

Louise

User

Posted 05 Aug 2015 at 01:28

Pagey, you might be worried about keeping your new wife happy but she is probably more concerned about becoming a widow rather earlier than she imagined. Men do not need erections to be great lovers but they do need to be alive.

Beyond that, I suppose you need to consider the loss of ability to ejaculate. All prostate cancer treatments will make you infertile so if you were planning to have a family with your new wife you might need to delay treatment or have some sperm frozen.

The official stats are that about 80% of men can get an erection 12 months after the op but some of these will be able to have natural erections while others will have to use a vacuum pump, tablets or injections/pellets. The NHS does not provide any data on how many men can get natural erections. After RT or brachy, most men can still get erections to begin with although this may get more difficult as the years go by. Almost all men gave smaller penis after treatment but I am sure your wife will reassure you that it's not the size that matters, it's what you do with it.

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

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