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Getting ready for robotic surgery

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User
Posted 04 Jan 2016 at 22:01

Hi, this is my first post, I have been reading most of the post since my husband was diagnosed, ( 12 weeks ago ) after a bone scan also MRI and consultation with the doctor and surgeon we have agreed on the robotic arm procedure, as my husband is only 50 and the cancer is contained to the prostate and not spread, this procedure will be carried out in Cardiff.  I was just wondering if anyone else has gone through this procedure,   

User
Posted 05 Jan 2016 at 09:20

Hello Shelle and welcome to the site.

My husband had a different treatment so I cannot help with the robotic arm but there are others on here who can so hopefully one of them will be along to answer you, especially now I've bumped your post.

~The thought to hang onto is that his cancer is contained and must be considered curable if an operation was thought to be the correct treatment for him. Even if this (~in the long term) doesn't solve the problem there will be a number of avenues still open to him treatment wise.

Try and stay calm and keep strong. We wives have to make sure our other halves get the best possible treatment and behave themselves while it's ongoing to give them the best possible outcome.

As we are always telling new members, we are here to answer any questions or queries you might have and we're also very good with the listening ear when it (and the other half !!) get too much for us.

Best Wishes

Sandra

Edited by member 05 Jan 2016 at 09:21  | Reason: Not specified

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 05 Jan 2016 at 11:20

Hi Shelle,

I had robotic assisted ( da Vinci ) surgery in June 2014.

I was 63 at the time so older than your hubby.

Click on my profile for more information if you wish.

Your hubby is relatively young, and if he has been deemed suitable for surgery, he should be fit enough to cope with the operation with hopefully not too many problems.

Although we are not medics, any specific questions you may have, please ask away, there are plenty of experienced and knowledgeable people on here who can pass on the benefits of their personal experiences.

Best Wishes
Luther

User
Posted 05 Jan 2016 at 18:52
Hello Shiela

I am 67 and had the Da Vinci procedure in August at Southmead in Bristol. 5 months after I am dry all night and feel in control of continence most of the time but leak a little when walking energetically which I do every day, but this is improving each week Post operation I did as I was advised by the medical team and had no problems but you do need to be patient. I found that it was good to drink plenty of water and do everything possible to avoid constipation. I should say that the surgeon carried out a fairly major hernia operation at the same time as the RALP which was a consideration post op. I contacted my car insurance company and they said that I could start driving as soon as I felt confident that I could perform an emergency stop. Because I hold an LGV licence I was obliged to notify DVLA and again that wrote back to say that they had issue with me driving as soon as I felt fit enough. Due to the hernia op I put off kick starting the motorbike until 6 weeks post op but was back behind the wheel of the car within 3 weeks and driving minibuses within 4 weeks. I realise that everyone is unique but I think that by taking things steady and not being afraid to rest when he needs to you husband will hopefully be Ok.

I am afraid that I do not worry about the Pca as post op I have a PSA of 0.3 And am on 6 week blood tests to see what to do next, but I carry on with my life and only really think about blood test results on the day I see the consultant. My brother had a non detectable PSA post op and is fine.

All the very best to you both for the future.

Kevan

User
Posted 05 Jan 2016 at 20:48
Hi Shelle

Sincere apologies on two counts - firstly for getting your name wrong in my initial response and secondly for omitting a crucial 'not' in that post. The DVLA did not have a problem with me returning to LGV driving as soon as I felt well enough.

Kevan

User
Posted 14 Jan 2016 at 20:09
Hi shelle. Know exactly what you mean about your husband looking well and you forget for a few moments he has pc. You'll probably find you are still coming to terms with diagnosis and you have the anxiety of preparing for the surgery. I found it surreal and in fact still do sometimes that it is happening to you and your husband. For us it felt a little easier after surgery as something had actually been done to treat the pc. You will have good and not so good days it is normal. I quite often have a teary moment in fact had one today whilst at work and after surgery you will become tired trying to care for your husband and keep everything ticking over. Just remember to look after you too, ive found a glass of wine and five minutes to gather my thoughts helps. Hope all goes well with pre med. Jayne
User
Posted 11 Feb 2016 at 17:41
Hiya Shelle,

What a disappointment for you both especially so close to the day. As you say, you were all primed and ready to go and is only human to feel a bit deflated now.

No choice but to just bash on until 23rd.

Please let us know how things go.

Kind regards to you both,

Kevan

User
Posted 11 Feb 2016 at 20:43
Hi shelle so sorry op has been put back not easy especially when you have both prepared yourselves. Keeping fingers crossed for new date in meantime spend some quality time together - we did couple of meals before op. Take care Jayne x
User
Posted 26 Feb 2016 at 19:42

Hello Michelle
Just to say I'm glad that it all went according to plan and I hope your other half makes a speedy recovery.

His body has undergone a lot of trauma so neither of you should expect too much too soon. As long as he's a good patient and does as he's told he'll do well.

Good luck and all the best
Sandra

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 26 Feb 2016 at 20:41
Hi Michelle glad op is over for you both, he did really well to come out same day. Having catheter not great but gives body time to heal hope hubby has been doing exercises. Paul has done quite well with incontinence 7 weeks post op 80% dry and just started on meds for ed. It is hard and you may find he gets frustrated I have with Paul but it does get easier, the hardest thing is the going forward and how as a couple you adapt to the new normal - we are still working on this. Keep in touch Jayne
User
Posted 26 Feb 2016 at 22:32

S

I used a small squirt of instillagel  down the end of the penis to ease any discomfort and soreness it just allows the catheter to move without rubbing, I got mine from the hospital but my local chemist had some, about £3.00 a tube.

 

Thanks Chris

User
Posted 27 Feb 2016 at 22:05

The urethra has been cut, prostate removed and then the two ends of the urethra joined back together. A bit like splicing a hosepipe when it has been damaged. The catheter gets the urine out of his bladder while that join is healing.

As part of removing the prostate and that section of urethra, men also lose either one or both of the valves that control urine flow out of the bladder and stop backflow. When the catheter is removed, some men are continent straight away while others have to relearn how to control urine with the (now in a different place) valve. Also, for a little while, the urethra can leak while the new join finishes healing - our urologist described it as trying to carry water in a sieve. Alongside all this, the surgery cuts through countless layers of flesh, nerve endings and muscle, including pelvic floor muscles that control urine flow so that we can tense and 'hold it in' - something we learn as toddlers. The pelvic floor can be helped to recover with Kiegel / pelvic floor exercises but some men have to re-learn exactly how to tense because it has stopped being an unconscious act.

An unfortunate minority find that the valve is permanently damaged and/or have great difficulty getting the pelvic floor back to its previous state but for most, it is just a matter of time and patience.

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 27 Feb 2016 at 23:29
Hi Shelle

Brilliant explanation from Lyn so I will confine my reply to my own experience.

I had very little control for the first couple of weeks so was using high volume pads during the day(at least 3 per day) and using the pants at night. I was getting up at least twice during the night which meant that while lying down I had more control than when stood. It felt strange wearing the pads and I always felt as though they were causing pressure which didn't help but I persevered. I should point out that during this time I always sat to urinate as due to swelling, shrinkage and pads there was no viable altermative. Bit by bit I found that the night time improved and I was fine while sitting. Main problem was stress incontinence caused by using the muscles whem getting up or lifting anything. Kept doing

my PFE, s three times a day plus walking every day. Always carried spare pads everywhere. Night times improved so that I got rid of the incontinence pants and wore just a pad. Gradually things improved during the day and I could control myself when moving from a sitting to standing position but I still leaked when walking. This got to be a drag as if out all day I got frustrated having to keep changing the pads. I went online and ordered some Conveen external catheter sheaths and leg bags for when out walking. They were brilliant

and made a huge difference. This at about the four month mark. As things improved I changed the type of pads to lighter weight which were more comfortable. Six months on I am more or less back to full control. I would say that none of this has stopped me doing anything it has just taken a bit more planning and has on occasions been uncomfortable but you just adapt.

I never would have thought that I would find myself discussing the merits of various incontinence products with the girls in Boots but it is surprising what you will do when you need to.

Hopefully things will go well and all of this will be irrelevant.

All the best

Kevan

User
Posted 28 Feb 2016 at 09:14
S / M

Like K I will give you my own experience we are all different and recovery at different rates.

When the catheter was removed and before leaving hospital I had to drink water and urinate three times then after the third urination the bladder was scanned to see what was left in. The process took about two hours and I think it pretty standard.

Getting in and out of the car I leaked, getting up from a sofa I leaked, only small amounts. I do not remember leaking at night. This lasted for four days and then when I stood up no leak. The incontinence nurse told me to go when I needed to, but not to go just in case. I did my PFEs for four months pre op and restarted post catheter removal.

I still wore pads for quite a few weeks and had the odd accident, but only a few MLS. One day I was out shopping and realised I had not put a pad on. My job involed alot of 1 to 5 hour car jouneys so I carried a travel urine bottle, towel and spare under wear in the car for emergencies but only used the bottle on one occasion. I would do PFEs when driving andI still wore a pad if going on a long journey.

Some guys have done better than me and hope OH is another one.

Thanks Chris

Edited by member 28 Feb 2016 at 09:15  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 22 Mar 2016 at 18:18
Hi shelle glad all seems to be going well for you both, good luck at nxt appointment. We have first psa appointment on Thursday with consultant so just hoping for good news. Jx
User
Posted 22 Mar 2016 at 19:47
Hi Shelle

Just caught up with your news and wanted to say how very pleased I am for you both. Hope your meeting goes well and that the results are favourable. Your news reminds of the poem "Sometimes" by Sheenagh Pugh

"Sometimes things don't after all go from bad to worse. Some years muscadel faces down the frost, green thrives, the crops don't fail, sometimes a man aims high and all goes well."

May it continue to happen for you both.

Kevan

User
Posted 27 Jun 2016 at 12:56

Hi Michelle
Firstly I'm glad his results have come back clear. That's obviously one thing less off your mind. The feeling and actuality of impotence is very very draining and affects each man differently depending partly on how they were pre surgery. I'm a year on exactly and rue the day I agreed to become impotent. It eats away at me just like a different sort of cancer. But if you can both talk and try to laugh and steer yourselves on an ED journey together and use your nurse /gp things can actually turn out ok in the bedroom. My only sure results were by using injection , but the side effects for me have become more or less intolerable , and permanent scarring also. My only route now is Cialis and pump and rings but even that fails me regularly , leading to quite a depression and breakdown and busting with the frustration of it all. It makes me feel a failure and unmanly and totally incapacitated. Good days and bad. There's so much more in life than rumpton, except when you are trying and failing at it. I hope you stay good and close and communicate. Show him you love him and admire him and fancy him any way you can , as he's feeling broken. Look after yourself too and keep posting
Chris

Edited by member 27 Jun 2016 at 12:58  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 15 Aug 2016 at 18:19
Hi Ian

From my point of view there were no particular problems. I tried to be sensible as I was advised not to try lifting anything heavier than a kettle of water for about 6 weeks as I had to be mindful that I had to recover from both ops.I was advised by the medics and my insurer that I could resume driving when I felt that I could carry out an emergency stop safely and they were happy to leave that decision with me. My surgeon's comment was the same as yours which was that he was able to perform both ops but not all of the surgeons who could the RALP could also carry out the hernia repair so I was lucky on the day.

Hope all goes well for you.

Currently enjoying the sun in the garden with a coffee and thinking what a lucky guy I am.

Kind regards

Kevan

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User
Posted 05 Jan 2016 at 09:20

Hello Shelle and welcome to the site.

My husband had a different treatment so I cannot help with the robotic arm but there are others on here who can so hopefully one of them will be along to answer you, especially now I've bumped your post.

~The thought to hang onto is that his cancer is contained and must be considered curable if an operation was thought to be the correct treatment for him. Even if this (~in the long term) doesn't solve the problem there will be a number of avenues still open to him treatment wise.

Try and stay calm and keep strong. We wives have to make sure our other halves get the best possible treatment and behave themselves while it's ongoing to give them the best possible outcome.

As we are always telling new members, we are here to answer any questions or queries you might have and we're also very good with the listening ear when it (and the other half !!) get too much for us.

Best Wishes

Sandra

Edited by member 05 Jan 2016 at 09:21  | Reason: Not specified

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 05 Jan 2016 at 11:07

Hi Shelle,i had the proceedure 10 weeks ago,having been diagnosed in July,my cancer was just starting to sprout out of the prostate,so i chose surgery above radiology as im led to believe if you opt for radiology first then an operation isnt possible(you can still have further radiology after surgery if its needed).So my outcome after 6 weeks was a PSA of 0.09(when diagnosed it was 5.2).I wont say that things post op arent challenging in their own person specific way but im now 98% continent(odd accident now&then)dont wear any pads&have started running again(steadily).So 11 weeks in&I go tomorrow for blood test 2&a review on Jan 14th.All i can say is that my experience of the proceedure was good,it was performed in Bradford.I believe i had a very skilled surgeon&my post operative treatment was good too.I wish you both the very best of luck&i see no reason why you shouldnt both feel posetive about the outcome.Please keep me up to date on your husbands progress.

Best Wishes.

Polarbear2.

User
Posted 05 Jan 2016 at 11:20

Hi Shelle,

I had robotic assisted ( da Vinci ) surgery in June 2014.

I was 63 at the time so older than your hubby.

Click on my profile for more information if you wish.

Your hubby is relatively young, and if he has been deemed suitable for surgery, he should be fit enough to cope with the operation with hopefully not too many problems.

Although we are not medics, any specific questions you may have, please ask away, there are plenty of experienced and knowledgeable people on here who can pass on the benefits of their personal experiences.

Best Wishes
Luther

User
Posted 05 Jan 2016 at 18:52
Hello Shiela

I am 67 and had the Da Vinci procedure in August at Southmead in Bristol. 5 months after I am dry all night and feel in control of continence most of the time but leak a little when walking energetically which I do every day, but this is improving each week Post operation I did as I was advised by the medical team and had no problems but you do need to be patient. I found that it was good to drink plenty of water and do everything possible to avoid constipation. I should say that the surgeon carried out a fairly major hernia operation at the same time as the RALP which was a consideration post op. I contacted my car insurance company and they said that I could start driving as soon as I felt confident that I could perform an emergency stop. Because I hold an LGV licence I was obliged to notify DVLA and again that wrote back to say that they had issue with me driving as soon as I felt fit enough. Due to the hernia op I put off kick starting the motorbike until 6 weeks post op but was back behind the wheel of the car within 3 weeks and driving minibuses within 4 weeks. I realise that everyone is unique but I think that by taking things steady and not being afraid to rest when he needs to you husband will hopefully be Ok.

I am afraid that I do not worry about the Pca as post op I have a PSA of 0.3 And am on 6 week blood tests to see what to do next, but I carry on with my life and only really think about blood test results on the day I see the consultant. My brother had a non detectable PSA post op and is fine.

All the very best to you both for the future.

Kevan

User
Posted 05 Jan 2016 at 20:06
Yes, my oh had da Vinci Dec 2014. I'm happy to answer any questions I can.

He was 58 at the time, psa 9.2, Gleason 9.

He is psa undetectable at the moment

User
Posted 05 Jan 2016 at 20:48
Hi Shelle

Sincere apologies on two counts - firstly for getting your name wrong in my initial response and secondly for omitting a crucial 'not' in that post. The DVLA did not have a problem with me returning to LGV driving as soon as I felt well enough.

Kevan

User
Posted 05 Jan 2016 at 22:14

thank you for replying to my post, it has been a scary time awaiting for the results to come back, but there is a massive light at the end of the tunnel, I find it very reassuring reading the posts and shocked on the amount of people that are experiencing the same pain, my husband date for his pre med is on the 27th January then we wait for the date for surgery.

User
Posted 06 Jan 2016 at 11:06
Morning Shelle

Plesse try not to worry about the op. Everyone will have a different experience but I experienced minor discomfort but no pain. The biggest shock is the amount of swelling and the colour of the testicles. Mine were tender for about 6 weeks but the swelling does subside. I am afraid that we both looked and laughed. The catheter was removed after 8 days and I was prepared with some 'harvest festivals' as all was safely gathered in for the first night. When I put them on we both collapsed laughing. I was producing water at both ends as I had never seen such a funny sight in my life. Laughter has helped us both so far and I really do hope that you will both be able to only deal with what is happeningrather than what could happen.

All the very best to you both.

Kevan

User
Posted 06 Jan 2016 at 11:19
Hi shelle, know exactly how you are feeling as do many on this site. My husband is 51 and following visit to Dr in September was referred to urology consultant all believed at time he had water infection following mri and biopsy we were told he had pc, psa at start 13.6 after infection went down to 9.6 and last week 8.3. Gleeson 7 3&4. He had keyhole surgery last week, I was scared but all went ok and one week on he is improving and as kevan said the important thing is to laugh we have - so romantic! He is due to catheter removed hopefully tomorrow. We know we still have a way to go but it's one hurdle over. My advice seek advice from this site and ask for a post op kit v useful. Take care jayne
User
Posted 10 Jan 2016 at 15:52

Hi Shelle

 

am now 60 and had robotic surgery oct 2013. chose experienced surgeon and op went well. no internal pain after op which surprised me. only pain was from incisions getting out of bed in first 7 days. first week very tired and just rested, slept and read books. second week started gentle walks.

was more worried about catheter but got used to it and only in 10 days. taking it out was not unpleasant or painful as expected.

expected incontinence and first few weeks very frustrating but luckily onto small pads after 4 weeks and then 99% dry after 6 weeks.

yes its scary, i admit that.i am a member of a local support group and have met many men who have had successful ops. so there is light at the end of the tunnel. so good luck with everything

User
Posted 13 Jan 2016 at 19:28


Hi, thanks for the reply's and words of encouragement, the pre med date is just around the corner so as my husband is self employed ( builder ) and I'm part time QCF assessor we thought we would see if we are entitled to any benefits as Steve will be off for up to 3 months due to the nature of his job, well we had a shock apparently the government say a couple only need £114 pound a week to live on so I will have to support the both of us, Thanks for the advise about laughing cos this did make us laugh. I find one of the hardest thing is when I'm with Steve for a few minutes forget he got PC then it is there, he looks so well and fit.

User
Posted 14 Jan 2016 at 10:36

Hi Shelle,just to say i wish you all the very best in your journey,i was 65yrs when i was diagnosed&as i write this i wait for my results of my2nd blood test(12 weeks)im 99.%continenthave just been out for a 40min run.What im trying to say is anything is possible if you both remain optimistic,okay you will both have some challenging times over the next few weeks,communicating&laughing about situations is the best way forward.Please keep me informed on your OH's progress.

Best wishes.

Polarbear2.

User
Posted 14 Jan 2016 at 17:38

Hi Shelle,

It is good that you can find something to laugh about in all of this, really, seriously. I still believe that a sense of humour, no matter how dark that humour or the situation, can help with the coming to terms and the passing of time. And when you thought things could not get worse, and they do, if you can laugh again in the face of that new challenge, you can cope with pretty much anything. Never give up.

When I was at the post op stage I wrote a blog about my life and times, and encounters with amongst other things frozen peas, warming balm gel stuff from a squirty can, and the ydoolb cable ties. I don't know how to access the blog, it was on the old site. But if you want a mild chuckle I can email you a document with the tale (yarn with some artistic licence) for you to read. Have a pad and some tissues to hand. All seems like an age ago, but was only May 2013. Oh, and herding sheep on a lane in Reading with a catheter fitted and wearing hospital pyjamas. I could laugh about it then, I can still laugh about it.

Your forgetting hubby is ill is entirely understandable, and no one looking at him will appreciate or understand his predicament. I used to describe having PCa to my friends as like rotting from the inside.

Good luck.

dave

All we can do - is do all that we can.

So, do all you can to help yourself, then make the best of your time. :-)

I am the statistic.

User
Posted 14 Jan 2016 at 17:53

Great post Dave.

I wish you both all the luck in the world Shelie. We still laugh. You have to. And it has got easier to deal with although I'm not cured. We are closer as a couple , just as people on this forum promised me. A new level of understanding , trust and love.
Best wishes
Chris and El

User
Posted 14 Jan 2016 at 20:09
Hi shelle. Know exactly what you mean about your husband looking well and you forget for a few moments he has pc. You'll probably find you are still coming to terms with diagnosis and you have the anxiety of preparing for the surgery. I found it surreal and in fact still do sometimes that it is happening to you and your husband. For us it felt a little easier after surgery as something had actually been done to treat the pc. You will have good and not so good days it is normal. I quite often have a teary moment in fact had one today whilst at work and after surgery you will become tired trying to care for your husband and keep everything ticking over. Just remember to look after you too, ive found a glass of wine and five minutes to gather my thoughts helps. Hope all goes well with pre med. Jayne
User
Posted 27 Jan 2016 at 17:59

Well today is the day Steve had his Pre Med, I still cant believe it I'm sitting there listening to the nurse talking about my husband it just doesn't seem real, all the checks have been done, Steve has had the all clear and the date has been agreed for the 16th February, In and out the same day,

User
Posted 27 Jan 2016 at 20:54
Hi Shelle

Another milestone passed!

All the very best to you both for the 16th - keep us all posted. Try to just go with flow (in every way).

Kevan

User
Posted 28 Jan 2016 at 09:38

Hi Shelle,all the very best for you both on Febuary 16th.Please keep in touch on your husbands progress.

Very Best Wishes.

Polarbear.2.

User
Posted 11 Feb 2016 at 15:00

Hiya, operation has been put back a week, gutting we were all ready and then this, it is on the 23rd we were hopping by then Steve would of been a week into recovery by then. just fed up with the waiting game. : (

User
Posted 11 Feb 2016 at 17:41
Hiya Shelle,

What a disappointment for you both especially so close to the day. As you say, you were all primed and ready to go and is only human to feel a bit deflated now.

No choice but to just bash on until 23rd.

Please let us know how things go.

Kind regards to you both,

Kevan

User
Posted 11 Feb 2016 at 20:43
Hi shelle so sorry op has been put back not easy especially when you have both prepared yourselves. Keeping fingers crossed for new date in meantime spend some quality time together - we did couple of meals before op. Take care Jayne x
User
Posted 26 Feb 2016 at 19:27

Hi the robotic procedure wet to plan Tuesday Steve went to theatre at 8am and was there for 4 hours, all went well and he was home at 6.30pm. He is doing well the catheter is painful and sore, he is walking around keeping his mobility up, the district nurse popped in to see Steve not really sure why as we will not be seeing her again lol, Steve is finding the stockings a real nightmare and that he has got to wear them for a month, Roll on the 8.3.16 the catheter will be coming out. Michelle

User
Posted 26 Feb 2016 at 19:42

Hello Michelle
Just to say I'm glad that it all went according to plan and I hope your other half makes a speedy recovery.

His body has undergone a lot of trauma so neither of you should expect too much too soon. As long as he's a good patient and does as he's told he'll do well.

Good luck and all the best
Sandra

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 26 Feb 2016 at 20:24
Hi Shelle

So pleased that the op is over and all appears to be going well. Make sure that he drinks loads to keep the system flushed.

Good advice from Sandra - don't let him overdo it.

Next milestone will be the catheter removal so make sure you go prepared.

All the very best - look after each other.

Kevan

User
Posted 26 Feb 2016 at 20:41
Hi Michelle glad op is over for you both, he did really well to come out same day. Having catheter not great but gives body time to heal hope hubby has been doing exercises. Paul has done quite well with incontinence 7 weeks post op 80% dry and just started on meds for ed. It is hard and you may find he gets frustrated I have with Paul but it does get easier, the hardest thing is the going forward and how as a couple you adapt to the new normal - we are still working on this. Keep in touch Jayne
User
Posted 26 Feb 2016 at 22:18

Thank you for your support, I have the upper hand so he has to do as his told lol Sandra, Kevan when you say make sure you go prepared for the removal of the Catheter what do you mean ? We have a good laugh about things which helps, Michelle

User
Posted 26 Feb 2016 at 22:32

S

I used a small squirt of instillagel  down the end of the penis to ease any discomfort and soreness it just allows the catheter to move without rubbing, I got mine from the hospital but my local chemist had some, about £3.00 a tube.

 

Thanks Chris

User
Posted 26 Feb 2016 at 22:58
Hi Michelle

Sorry if I worried you - I just meant to remind you to take some pads and suitable pants for the trip home. I have to admit that I bought some incontinence pants for use at night. When I put them on first time I have never laughed so much in my life. My wife and I were in hysterics.

All the best

Kevan

User
Posted 27 Feb 2016 at 11:18

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member
Hi Michelle
Sorry if I worried you - I just meant to remind you to take some pads and suitable pants for the trip home. I have to admit that I bought some incontinence pants for use at night. When I put them on first time I have never laughed so much in my life. My wife and I were in hysterics.

All the best

Kevan

 

Like the ones I bought in Asda then.

Did the job, but not the least bit "manly" what with the frilly leg elastic. After all, who was going to see them but me and all I was concerned about was keeping the mattress dry!!

Towels and one way liner under the sheet as well. Pants worked well so no mishaps

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 27 Feb 2016 at 13:19

LOL I see, yes we have a had a delivery of pads 3 massive boxes, I also went today to buy some Y Fronts for him lol which did put a smile on our faces, steve is seeing the funny side of it, Thanks Chris I will see if I can purchase some.

User
Posted 27 Feb 2016 at 13:30

Hi Shelle,

Pleased to read that Steve has had his op and things appear to have gone well.

Reading some of the comments about pads etc... I agree .... a sense of humour will certainly help you both in coping with Steve's recovery.

Laughter can be a very good medicine! http://community.prostatecanceruk.org/editors/tiny_mce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-smile.gif

Best wishes
Luther

 

User
Posted 27 Feb 2016 at 20:05

hiya, can you help me with a question, we have been told a little bit about Steve water works after the catheter has been removed, but can you tell us from your experience what to expect ? Michelle

User
Posted 27 Feb 2016 at 22:05

The urethra has been cut, prostate removed and then the two ends of the urethra joined back together. A bit like splicing a hosepipe when it has been damaged. The catheter gets the urine out of his bladder while that join is healing.

As part of removing the prostate and that section of urethra, men also lose either one or both of the valves that control urine flow out of the bladder and stop backflow. When the catheter is removed, some men are continent straight away while others have to relearn how to control urine with the (now in a different place) valve. Also, for a little while, the urethra can leak while the new join finishes healing - our urologist described it as trying to carry water in a sieve. Alongside all this, the surgery cuts through countless layers of flesh, nerve endings and muscle, including pelvic floor muscles that control urine flow so that we can tense and 'hold it in' - something we learn as toddlers. The pelvic floor can be helped to recover with Kiegel / pelvic floor exercises but some men have to re-learn exactly how to tense because it has stopped being an unconscious act.

An unfortunate minority find that the valve is permanently damaged and/or have great difficulty getting the pelvic floor back to its previous state but for most, it is just a matter of time and patience.

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 27 Feb 2016 at 23:29
Hi Shelle

Brilliant explanation from Lyn so I will confine my reply to my own experience.

I had very little control for the first couple of weeks so was using high volume pads during the day(at least 3 per day) and using the pants at night. I was getting up at least twice during the night which meant that while lying down I had more control than when stood. It felt strange wearing the pads and I always felt as though they were causing pressure which didn't help but I persevered. I should point out that during this time I always sat to urinate as due to swelling, shrinkage and pads there was no viable altermative. Bit by bit I found that the night time improved and I was fine while sitting. Main problem was stress incontinence caused by using the muscles whem getting up or lifting anything. Kept doing

my PFE, s three times a day plus walking every day. Always carried spare pads everywhere. Night times improved so that I got rid of the incontinence pants and wore just a pad. Gradually things improved during the day and I could control myself when moving from a sitting to standing position but I still leaked when walking. This got to be a drag as if out all day I got frustrated having to keep changing the pads. I went online and ordered some Conveen external catheter sheaths and leg bags for when out walking. They were brilliant

and made a huge difference. This at about the four month mark. As things improved I changed the type of pads to lighter weight which were more comfortable. Six months on I am more or less back to full control. I would say that none of this has stopped me doing anything it has just taken a bit more planning and has on occasions been uncomfortable but you just adapt.

I never would have thought that I would find myself discussing the merits of various incontinence products with the girls in Boots but it is surprising what you will do when you need to.

Hopefully things will go well and all of this will be irrelevant.

All the best

Kevan

User
Posted 28 Feb 2016 at 09:14
S / M

Like K I will give you my own experience we are all different and recovery at different rates.

When the catheter was removed and before leaving hospital I had to drink water and urinate three times then after the third urination the bladder was scanned to see what was left in. The process took about two hours and I think it pretty standard.

Getting in and out of the car I leaked, getting up from a sofa I leaked, only small amounts. I do not remember leaking at night. This lasted for four days and then when I stood up no leak. The incontinence nurse told me to go when I needed to, but not to go just in case. I did my PFEs for four months pre op and restarted post catheter removal.

I still wore pads for quite a few weeks and had the odd accident, but only a few MLS. One day I was out shopping and realised I had not put a pad on. My job involed alot of 1 to 5 hour car jouneys so I carried a travel urine bottle, towel and spare under wear in the car for emergencies but only used the bottle on one occasion. I would do PFEs when driving andI still wore a pad if going on a long journey.

Some guys have done better than me and hope OH is another one.

Thanks Chris

Edited by member 28 Feb 2016 at 09:15  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 21 Mar 2016 at 19:41

Hi everyone, we have reached 4 weeks since the robotic procedure and all is going really well actually great, Steve has leaked very small amounts, we are both over the moon with the outcome from the surgery, we have an appointment the 6th April for the full results so fingers crossed all is good xx

User
Posted 21 Mar 2016 at 19:48

Hello Shelle,
So pleased all is going well for both of you.
Long may it continue
All the best
Sandra

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 21 Mar 2016 at 19:49
S

Brilliant news and probably reassuring for those about to embark on the same journey.

Thanks Chris

User
Posted 21 Mar 2016 at 20:00

Great news!

Hopefully even more good news for you both on 6th April when you get the histology report..

Luther 

User
Posted 22 Mar 2016 at 18:18
Hi shelle glad all seems to be going well for you both, good luck at nxt appointment. We have first psa appointment on Thursday with consultant so just hoping for good news. Jx
User
Posted 22 Mar 2016 at 19:47
Hi Shelle

Just caught up with your news and wanted to say how very pleased I am for you both. Hope your meeting goes well and that the results are favourable. Your news reminds of the poem "Sometimes" by Sheenagh Pugh

"Sometimes things don't after all go from bad to worse. Some years muscadel faces down the frost, green thrives, the crops don't fail, sometimes a man aims high and all goes well."

May it continue to happen for you both.

Kevan

User
Posted 27 Jun 2016 at 12:00

Hiya everyone, sorry it’s been a while Steve has had a good result from his consultant psa is really good ( ,no trace ) we have discussed different methods for our sex life to return back, we have agreed on stronger tablets, one to be taken an hour before bed, we also discussed the injections that Steve was not too keen on. any advice would be really appreciated, also Steve is experiencing feeling low we have discussed this is expected after the surgery, He is finding it a bit difficult as he is a very positive man about everything, any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks Michelle

User
Posted 27 Jun 2016 at 12:42

Michelle, it might seem a long time to your husband in terms of weeks but really, in terms of recovery it isn't.

His whole body has undergone trauma. Perhaps the fact that the initial results ~(incontinence etc) were so good has lulled him into a false sense of security.

Emotionally, now it's done and dusted and he no longer has to concentrate on the lead up to the op and the "what ifs" it'sleft him time to reflect on how his life has changed.

The fact that you both talk, especially about the important things like sharing a sex life, is brilliant.

Just give him time and have patience with him.

I'm sure that the others who have gone through robotic surgery will be along with their advice, much more relevant than mine anyway.

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 27 Jun 2016 at 12:56

Hi Michelle
Firstly I'm glad his results have come back clear. That's obviously one thing less off your mind. The feeling and actuality of impotence is very very draining and affects each man differently depending partly on how they were pre surgery. I'm a year on exactly and rue the day I agreed to become impotent. It eats away at me just like a different sort of cancer. But if you can both talk and try to laugh and steer yourselves on an ED journey together and use your nurse /gp things can actually turn out ok in the bedroom. My only sure results were by using injection , but the side effects for me have become more or less intolerable , and permanent scarring also. My only route now is Cialis and pump and rings but even that fails me regularly , leading to quite a depression and breakdown and busting with the frustration of it all. It makes me feel a failure and unmanly and totally incapacitated. Good days and bad. There's so much more in life than rumpton, except when you are trying and failing at it. I hope you stay good and close and communicate. Show him you love him and admire him and fancy him any way you can , as he's feeling broken. Look after yourself too and keep posting
Chris

Edited by member 27 Jun 2016 at 12:58  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 15 Aug 2016 at 17:21

Hi Kevan.  Just found your report about having laparoscopic prostatectomy and hernia repair at the same time.  

I am in need of both,  but  am in discussion with the consultant about the advisability and possibility of doing both at once.  At this stage, I am all for it.  Consultant seems to think it depends on which surgeon will be on duty on the day.

What were the implications for your recovery of having both done at the same time?  Is there a "down" side?

Great to hear that you have recovered well.

Ian

Edited by member 15 Aug 2016 at 17:23  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 15 Aug 2016 at 18:19
Hi Ian

From my point of view there were no particular problems. I tried to be sensible as I was advised not to try lifting anything heavier than a kettle of water for about 6 weeks as I had to be mindful that I had to recover from both ops.I was advised by the medics and my insurer that I could resume driving when I felt that I could carry out an emergency stop safely and they were happy to leave that decision with me. My surgeon's comment was the same as yours which was that he was able to perform both ops but not all of the surgeons who could the RALP could also carry out the hernia repair so I was lucky on the day.

Hope all goes well for you.

Currently enjoying the sun in the garden with a coffee and thinking what a lucky guy I am.

Kind regards

Kevan

 
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