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Radium 223 - the highs and the lows

User
Posted 02 December 2017 18:24:44(UTC)
So very sorry to read this news but glad that you were with David at the end.
My thoughts are with you and your family.
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User
Posted 02 December 2017 18:38:16(UTC)
My deepest sympathy to you and your family. You are in my thoughts, take care.
Debbie x
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User
Posted 02 December 2017 18:44:41(UTC)
Linda

So sorry to hear of your sad news please accept my sincere condolences.

Thanks Chris

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User
Posted 02 December 2017 18:49:56(UTC)
Linda
So very sorry,thoughts are with you and your family
Viv
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User
Posted 02 December 2017 19:38:42(UTC)

This news is so sad ,
David tried so hard, RIP David

Best wishs Linda

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User
Posted 02 December 2017 19:41:45(UTC)

Lost for words. Truly. Our thoughts are with you. X




If life gives you lemons , then make lemonade
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User
Posted 02 December 2017 20:20:17(UTC)

So sorry to hear this sad news.

Arthur

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User
Posted 02 December 2017 21:18:33(UTC)
Oh Linda
My heart goes out to you, rest in peace David. You fought so hard lovely man. My deepest condolences.

With love Devonmaid xxxxx
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User
Posted 02 December 2017 21:20:49(UTC)

Oh my god can’t believe it. Sincere condolences to you and yours at this very sad time. X

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User
Posted 02 December 2017 21:23:06(UTC)
So sorry to hear this Linda. My thoughts are with you and will continue to be. Such a lovely man, his posts were so useful to so many.
Ian.
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User
Posted 02 December 2017 22:28:54(UTC)

So very sorry Linda. But so pleased that he was in the right surroundings, that he was peaceful, and that you were with him and loving him.

Much love to you, and thanks to both of you for the kindness and support you offered me on the same journey.

Hugs

Ruth xxx

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User
Posted 02 December 2017 22:53:50(UTC)
I have quietly followed David’s posts, taking so much inspiration from his upbeat attitude, sorely missed

Gutted xx
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User
Posted 02 December 2017 23:29:19(UTC)
I am so very sorry to hear this sad news. He fought so hard xxx
Debbie xxx
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User
Posted 02 December 2017 23:30:48(UTC)
So sorry to read about David, I am so glad you were with him, please accept my condolences
Kev
Dream like you have forever, live like you only have today
Avatar is northern lights whilst running in Iceland sept 2017
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User
Posted 03 December 2017 08:57:27(UTC)

So very sorry for your loss, but thankful that you were with him at his passing, my thoughts and condolences re with you

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User
Posted 03 December 2017 09:07:03(UTC)

Oh Linda I am so so sorry to hear this.

It sounds as though David was at peace in his room with a view and with you by his side. You and he were both so kind to me when I lost my David. Do take care of yourself in the coming days and months.

Rosy xxx

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User
Posted 03 December 2017 09:14:29(UTC)

So sorry to read this. I learnt so much from his posts.

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User
Posted 03 December 2017 11:45:19(UTC)
Another good man gone. So sorry to hear this Linda. Glad you had a few hours with him at the end. Take care x
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User
Posted 03 December 2017 13:22:18(UTC)
So sad. He had many wise words which have helped so many.
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User
Posted 03 December 2017 13:40:56(UTC)

Linda,

I am so sorry to hear your news.

May God bless both you and David.

David's presence has been such an inspiration and a comfort to me.

Dave

"Incurable cancer does not mean it is untreatable and does not mean it is terminal either"
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User
Posted 03 December 2017 14:11:36(UTC)
Dear Linda, your husband was a great support and inspiration to me. For that I thank you, I am so sorry to read of your loss.Another lovely man taken by this cruel disease. R.I.P David.
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User
Posted 03 December 2017 15:52:51(UTC)

Linda, my deepest sympathy. Your man was a hero and will never be forgotten on this site. Keep well.

AC

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User
Posted 03 December 2017 16:29:49(UTC)
I am so sorry and sad to read this news Linda, my heart goes out to you there are no words as I know only too few well .
So I am just sending my love .
BFN
Julie X
NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON
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User
Posted 03 December 2017 16:49:07(UTC)

Linda ...So sorry for the loss of your dear David and so glad that you were with him at the end. He is no longer suffering and I'm sure you have countless happy memories of you time you spent with each other.
Love Tom

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User
Posted 03 December 2017 16:57:09(UTC)

Please accept my deepest condolences Linda. I am very sorry you have lost your lovely David. You were a shining star for him and both inspirational in your different roles ... So sorry.

Clare

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User
Posted 03 December 2017 21:09:00(UTC)
Linda so very sorry to read this sad news, sending love to you and your family, david was a great help to all of us on this journey..love jo.xx
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User
Posted 04 December 2017 01:07:22(UTC)

Oh Linda. How my heart aches for you. David's support and advice were invaluable to me & my OH.
I picture your wonderful man now sat at the best bar heaven has, ordering a perfect temperature real ale with just the right measure of head on it, served with the best flavour crisps to complement this ambrosia. And to top it all Colchester United are on the pub tv & are thrashing Man Utd.
Sending much love & my sincerest sympathies
Mel xx

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User
Posted 04 December 2017 04:27:57(UTC)

Linda, you and David have been such wonderful people on this forum. I don't come here too often living 12,000 miles away, but David and i had some great conversations about football, particularly when Colchester were playing Spurs a couple of years back. A great man, who I would love to have met. An inspiration to us all.

"And Rocky said, doc it's only a scratch. And I'll be better, I'll be better doc as soon as I am able"
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User
Posted 04 December 2017 12:04:25(UTC)
Please accept my deepest condolences

RIP David

Roy
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User
Posted 04 December 2017 12:18:21(UTC)
I am so sorry to hear this sad news. Please accept my sincerest condolences.
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User
Posted 04 December 2017 18:42:41(UTC)

Oh Linda, 

I am so sorry for your loss. It brings into relief our own mortality. I then experienced anger that your loss is replicated every 45 minutes up and down the country as families are being devastated by this dreadful disease. 

I was diagnosed stage 4 over 5 years ago. I could be wrong, but the only thing that seemed to have has changed is that newly diagnosed men get docetaxel straight away. No breakthrough drugs, just older drugs given at a different time. 

Any new drugs being developed by UK charities result in the very people supporting these charities to be denied them usually on the basis of cost effectiveness. WTF? I don't know what the answer could be but we need a sea change of how prostate cancer drugs are developed and administered. 

Collectively we seem to be far too passive and just exist by fearing the worst but hoping for the best. Surely we deserve better?

 

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User
Posted 04 December 2017 19:32:26(UTC)

Linda, I cannot believe I stepped away from the computer for 24 hours or so when I had been following your plight so keenly. I hope he was able to go in peace and that you got to say goodbyes. No words can cover such times so please accept my heartfelt condolences. RIP Dave.

User
Posted 05 December 2017 09:39:45(UTC)

I can't fault the care and treatment that David received. He was unlucky that, even though the PSA was still quite low in terms of numbers, the PC was already advanced by the time he was diagnosed and the Gleason score was 9. He trusted and admired his lovely onco and she appreciated the way he 'project managed' his situation and always aimed to make the best use of her time. He was on Enzalutamide for 17 months - not exactly a cheap drug. It may be a bit of a post code lottery.

I was with David all day on Saturday. He was drifting in and out, more and more out as the day progressed. I talked to him, recalling things we'd done during the almost 47 years we'd been together. Eventually at around 4.00 pm his breathing started to falter and slow. He was asleep and peaceful when he died at about 4..30.

You won't be at all surprised to hear that he left me a complete 'to do' list of actions to take and people to contact to sort out things after his death. He had bequeathed his body to the University of Bristol for research purposes. Sadly, they are not able to accept the bequest owing to the condition of his blood due to the last stages of the cancer and also the fact that he had the Radium 223 treatment in early October.

At the moment I am waiting to get a Certificate of Cause of Death from our Medical Practice, which I need in order to register the death with the Registrar's Office and get the Death Certificate. Would you believe there is a call centre that you have to contact to be directed to the most appropriate Office for you? From what the Funeral Director said, it's not just a question of location - it's also which office can deal with things most quickly.

User
Posted 05 December 2017 18:34:24(UTC)

Hi Linda

So glad to hear that David's death was peaceful and loving - I don't doubt that will be comforting eventually but hard to feel anything other than overwhelming sadness right now I'm sure. I found all of the bureaucratic stuff very difficult to handle - hope it goes smoothly for you and that you have friends and family to help you with the more officious bits.

Take care. Will be thinking of you.

Hugs

Ruth xxx

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User
Posted 06 December 2017 22:39:46(UTC)
A Lovely Post Linda and David would be so proud of you.
I suppose I am still pretty much where you are at the moment somewhere in between reality and a very real non reality.
It’s been crazy here and I am still getting phone calls asking to speak to Trevor sometimes I just tell them the truth and other times I can’t say the words and just ask them to call back .
I suppose it’s all apart of our new normal even though we had only just got to grips with our previous new normal ( wow that’s made me cry) everyday is our new normal .
Much love coming your way.
BFN
Julie X
NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON
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User
Posted 07 December 2017 12:56:18(UTC)

You have written very eloquently Linda. A very difficult outcome for you to deal with but the peaceful way David passed must be of comfort to you. Thinking of you, Ian.

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User
Posted 07 December 2017 18:27:11(UTC)

The emotional roller coaster goes on - sometimes fairly upbeat, often anxious, jittery and tearful, but I'll get there. As you say Julie - normal changes from day to day. Everyday things such as cooking for one rather than two take some getting used to.

The various authorities are being very helpful. As no doctor in our practice had seen David in the period before his death, our GP had to get agreement from the Coroner's Office before he could issue the Certificate of Cause of Death. The Coroner's Office not only agreed without delay (so I now have the Certificate) they called me to let me know and also must have notified the Registrar. I didn't have to call to get an appointment, the Registrar called me to arrange it for next Monday. So sometimes the system works!

I have received loads and loads of cards and letters from neighbours and friends, especially from the croquet club and, of course all your lovely posts on the forum. Many lovely words of sympathy and support. The same words about David have cropped up time and again - kind, generous, encouraging, welcoming, helpful, lovely man, patient, enthusiastic. I think he might have blushed a bit! But they are all true.

The funeral/cremation is arranged for the week after next - that will be small and private. But I plan to organise a get together for friends and family towards the end of January to celebrate David's life, not mourn his death.

This will probably be my last post on this thread. Thanks to you all again for all the support and encouragement you have given me. It is much appreciated.
Love to you all
Linda

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User
Posted 09 December 2017 10:58:32(UTC)

Hello Linda. I have been away and so I am sorry my message of condolence is so delayed. I am so sad for you. I smiled when you said about the list David left you. I felt great comfort in the days following my husbands death in doing all the daily chores he would have been doing and trying to do them as exactly as he would have done them. Not only did it make me feel as I was carrying out his wishes but I was always exhausted at the end of the day and this helped me sleep. The view from Davids room was beautiful and I am so pleased you were able to get him there and be with him. Like others who have posted I too am navigating the numerous new normals on this rollercoaster ride, none of them are normal yet and always a shock. My heart goes out to you
Sending you love.

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User
Posted 09 December 2017 11:07:30(UTC)

hello Linda

I'm also late in reading the update. Obviously sad to read of the loss. Hope the arrangements go as good as they can

Ray

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User
Posted 09 December 2017 21:00:41(UTC)

Very sad news Linda. Another man lost to this rotten disease. But David's struggle is over and it is you that needs support which I trust will be given.

Barry
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