T3 for me, U2?

@Banjobert...

Thanks for the thanks.
It's genuinely appreciated.

I can understand how 'I have cancer' is hardly a source of joy - and as I seem to not be worried about my own circumstances, I'm happy to 'constructively jest' if it helps anyone.

@Bollinge...

Thanks for your kind words too - I'd expect nought less. :-)

As for 'forthcoming template biopsy'... hopefully T3b has dispelled any chance of that. The MRI result + the breakout should, regardless of Gleason score, automatically classify as 'aggressive' and suggest appropriate activity... for which I'll be requesting hormone plus radiotherapy, plus whatever else seems sensible following a bone scan.

The rest of this post has no levity, and is included as info potentially useful to others.

Of course, the above para is subject to the 'postcode lottery' which seems to be relevant for prostate treatment - which can vary greatly depending on where you live and the preferences of the surgeon.

Yesterday's consult was strange... in that the first words of the consultant were 'How do you want us to proceed with this? We're happy for you to suggest the course.'

The backstory to this is that as my '2-week-wait' turned-out to be six-plus, and that despite normal procedure at my local hospital being pre-biopsy MRI I wasn't allocated one, I raised a formal complaint.

Within a day, I met the surgeon (in a hastily arranged meet which I hadn't asked for) and requested clarification. His view was that with my PSA, 'it'd be harder to miss it [cancer] than find it' and hence he saw no point.

After explaining that I felt a pre-TRUS MRI to be worthwhile because it'd 1) enable better targeting and 2) show the margins, an mpMRI was arranged and completed.

So, at yesterday's session, he explained 'I'll be honest, I've never done it this way before, and would normally have biopsied straight away.' When I asked 'Did you mean when we met a couple weeks ago?' his answer was 'yes'.

That's very odd, because at no point during that earlier meet was a there-and-then unscheduled TRUS even mentioned. The course of the conversation was their regret at the necessary delay.

Anyway, can't turn back time, so we move forward... and that 'treatment seems to vary greatly depending on where you live and the preferences of the surgeon' thing.

I can see no good reason for hauling-out the prostate, and the consequent risks thereof. I realise this might sound controversial to some - but my reading shows enough similar(ish) cases where in various hospitals it's been left in-situ.

My personal view is that I'd rather have 3 years choosing when to p*ss, than 5 dribbling like a poorly-maintained tap.

(And, always worth a watch, the 'Billy Connolly - Incontinence Pants' riff: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGNMeR-BOis)

My view through this has remained similar to a particular scene in a Bond movie... where Goldfinger has 007 strapped to a table, about to be sliced by a laser. Bond asks 'So you expect me to talk?', to be answered with a 'No, Mr Bond. I expect you to die.'

Long-story-short, I expect to die from this - although whether in 6 months or 6 years is a not-yet-known.

This morning I read about 'how life expectancy is increased by a particular chemo drug'... which sounds good - but buried in the detail is that the average is by about 10 percent, 7-9 months on 7 years.

Personally, I neither want not need that extra time with the reduced quality of life.

I'm surprised by just how genuinely unworried about it I am, and not at all unhappy... peaceably going about my stuff in my own way, and very relaxed.

When things reach a point of 'look mate, it all gets a bit crap from now on' I'll quietly self-terminate.

@Sinic...

Thank you.

If I can help cheer others, I'm happy.

Early days are often (and rightly!) worry-filled.

And subsequent times... well, what can and might happen can get 'pretty bl**dy grim'.

So then... best not to think about it? Perhaps.

My own view is 'be aware of fact, try to look on the bright side - things could always be worse (even when we think they can't)'.

My best hopes and wishes to you and your partner/family.

There's a lot of people here who've been through stuff you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy. And, to help others, they're happy to share their knowledge and experience.

Me, I can only crack a joke-or-two (other posts of mine are similarly irreverent) in hope of temporarily lightening someone's mood.

Unless an airplane engine falls on my head, or 'doughnut overdose' gets me first... my own Pca will almost certainly kill me - I just don't know when. So, meantime, I'm getting on with what's left of my life and genuinely enjoying things. (And, as part of 'putting my stuff in order, I've done a lot of tidying-and-labelling recently.)

Edited by member 27 Aug 2018 at 18:38  | Reason: Untempered enthusiasm led me to post without first reading-through.

Keep your travels up Gulliver,

I for one appreciate your dark humour and believe that if your words were at all offensive the moderator would intervene

and defused your posts. I have been posting and reading this website everyday for over 8 years and frankly find your humour

refreshing from the dark corners that pervade this forum.

Happy travels Gulliver and keep this website balanced. If anyone is unhappy with your words then they simply have to stop reading them.

Chigwell 2010.

'Jeez, I turn away for a moment and it all lights up.'

...so, sorry for my slow response, I was busy having cancer. (Actually, I fell asleep on the sofa.)

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@grahamt...

> Gulliver, I share a very similar view to you regarding living with cancer and its treatment. Maybe there's some merit in having an extra forum option (with a warning!) for those of us who enjoy writing with a slightly fruitier flavour about the subject?

That's a sensible and understandable view, and has merit.

My personal view is that it's maybe neither necessary nor wise... we're all adults, and as such ought to be able to handle/respect a variety of attitudes and expression thereof - toward which I'm sure that my witterings are of more help than harm.

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@chigwell2010

> Keep your travels up Gulliver, I appreciate your dark humour and find your humour refreshing from the dark corners that pervade this forum. If anyone is unhappy with your words then they simply have to stop reading them.

My genuine thanks for the encouragement, and if I've helped someone smile then I'm happy.
I agree with the view of 'don't like, then don't read'.

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And (for comments that weren't directed toward me, I feel it'd be impolite to not answer)...

@Bollinge

> I think a bit of levity for what some is a grim situation is good. Laughter is the best medicine.

@grahamt...

> Laughter may well be the best medicine, but it's presumptuous to apply that to everyone - some may be dealing with a level of shock at what life has just thrown at them. I might suggest having a quick look at other posts to see not everyone responds to cancer and unpredictable outcomes in quite the same way.

I don't think John (Bollinge) is applying that to everyone, and even if he is it's not a bad thing... and is a good suggestion.

We're all dealing with shock and 'unpredictable outcome' (will this kill me, and how quickly?) [to which my view on my personal situation is 'yes' and 'sooner than I initially considered'].

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@Rich12

> If you don't like it don't follow the thread.

Sensible stuff, with which I agree.

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And finally... right now, in being very tired, I feel I probably don't have a lot more to add to either this thread or the forum... although I might inject some further inanity at a later point - duly wrapped in a 'this is my experience of RT/chemo/etcetera', with a genuine intent of helping someone better understand or deal with something about which they're wondering.

So, my thanks to those who've helped me - I'm grateful for the help and warmth I've received, and wish everyone well.

What's just crossed my mind is a scene from the 'Dr Strangelove' movie, where Kong is riding the bomb: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ueuauKKjPZI

Tomorrow, I may make some sticky-tape labels, so that when I'm next at Sainsburys I can change those 'nine items or less' checkout signs to 'nine months or less'. Yeah, maybe.