Wife cant deal

Hi Mustard, Oh No! Please don’t do that! If surgery is the best option for you then go for it. HTRT is NOT an easy option, I can vouch for that!

Everyone is different, but you both need to go and speak to someone together and discuss your wishes and fears. Do you have a Maggies Center nearby? If so, just go along and ask to speak to someone - you don’t need to make an appointment. Or speak to your CNS who should be able to help you both come to a decision that’s best for you both.

Good luck, and once you’ve made your decision I am sure you will feel better for it.

Derek

Agree with Decho, please both of you go and have a chat with your consultant, Macmillan nurse.

Obviously it affects you both in your relationship but at the end of the day it really is down to yourself and what you think is the very best option for you. Hopefully your wife will be understanding in your decision, especially with the more information you are both given. If you or your wife have any doubts, worries concerns at this point i really would speak to someone about it.

Good luck

Mal

Mustard

I was a year older than you when diagnosed in October last year, with my consultant giving me no option other than surgery. Yes, it’s stressful dealing with the diagnosis but if the consultant feels surgery is the best option, go for it. You need to find out what it is that is stress your wife: the fear of surgery, how it will impact on your lives.

For me, and my wife, the surgery has been surprisingly easy to deal with. The after-effects are something we are getting used to. The ED is not a great side effect to have to experience but there are other members who will tell you that this can be overcome.

There are organisations that will assist both of you, so make use of them.

You’ll be fine - look at the positives for the future.

It's a problem with the lack of bladder control 

Mustard

While we all recover at different rates, I’m 99% continent six months following RARP. If it makes your wife feel any better, it was my biggest fear.

I found going pelvic floor exercises helped once the catheter was removed. There is a Squeezy app which I found useful.

I was 99 percent dry after catheter removal post surgery. Salvage RT has left me with a permanent suprapubic catheter. If I had a time machine I would pick still pick surgery.

Thanks Chris 

Hello ,My wife was terrified of me having surgery but it was the best option and we were very grateful to be offered the option with the chance of cure .Read my profile as it explains my long journey fully but has had a great outcome so far .By removing the diseased prostate you are removing the mother ship so to speak and that immediately reduces the cancer load easier to treat if it comes back or has spread further .My PSA never dropped after the RP it had spread to some lymph nodes ,so I had salvage RT therapy and am on Enzalutimide and hormone treatment and have been for the past three years .I am in remission with clear scans and although hormone therapy is tough on the body and mind ,I cope .Any operation is worrying and my dear wife is a lady who gets very  anxious indeed but we have come through it and I will remain on the hormone  treatment for as long as I am able to as this gives the best chance of a complete cure eventually i will come off it and hopefully my PSA will.remain undetectable still and a cure will have been effected .There is a trial at the moment where men  with  locally advanced and more advanced prostate cancer are having their prostate removed where before they would not have been given the option as the cancer had spread and they would have been offered hormone treatment only .The idea being that once removed it can no longer send out chemical signals to floating cancer cells to grow. In my case I've done very well .Talk to your wife, read up on the subject find out all the information you can but removal of the prostate  enabled the other treatment to work well for me and I am grateful I was given the opportunity to have my prostate removed .