Hi
Many thanks for your kind messages re dad's funeral. It was a great celebration of his life I believe. Many thanks to Janet, Chris & Shirley for making the effort on behalf of the Leicester support group in turning up today I really appreciated that, as did Karen.
Please find below dad's obituary which I read on his behalf. He wriote it about 6 weeks ago, and I went through with him a couple of times. I think I only struggled once:) While I was reading this there was a photo montage to the side which Chris and I pulled together, and included photos of the Leicester meeting.
George can you please copy onto the bollox website please? Can you invite me to that site please or send me a link and I will join.
I think Karen will be coming to Leicester next year and I will bring her of course.
No one son
James
Obituary
Barry, My Dad, has written his own obituary which reads as follows:-
Please do not mourn me as I have lived a life full of joy and happiness, well beyond anything I could ever have dreamed of, or hoped for – it is ok to miss me a bit though!
As an only child to older parents, I was perhaps ‘over-protected’ throughout my childhood, which is probably the reason I tried to join the Army at the tender age of 10! Imagine the surprise my mum and dad had when they opened the door to an imposing figure in full uniform – the local Army recruiting Sergeant who had turned up to interview their son. It would appear that I had ‘accidently’ put a tail on the zero on the age ‘10’, making it look like I was 16. So, I had to wait my time, but stuck to my plan to join up as soon as I could.
After a fantastic summer on Weymouth beach in 1959 working as a Donkey boy (there was a method in my madness because, although I had to shovel up behind the donkeys, I got to chase the girls around!), I joined up as an Army Apprentice on 27th April 1960 at the tender age of 15. Karen has always taken great joy in reminding me that she was actually only one and a half at the time!!
My Army career then spanned 31 years so I must have liked it – actually, that is an understatement, I loved every minute of it. I followed that with working for a further 22 Years for the Army at Lulworth, finally retiring last year at age 68.
I was privileged to have worked with some great people and fantastic regiments throughout my Army career. As a member of the REME (Royal Electrical and Mechanical Engineers), working as an Armourer, I have been attached to the following famous Regiments:-
The Royal Green Jackets
The Kings own Scottish Borderers
22 Special Air Service (the SAS)
The Coldstream Guards
The Queens Royal Irish Hussars
10th Princess Mary’s Own Gurkha Rifles
And the Diplomatic Close Protection Unit
I was also lucky enough to see the world, serving in and visiting the following countries:-
Hong Kong
Brunei
Cyprus
Germany
Canada
Northern Ireland
Uganda
Sudan
Beirut
Libya
Kenya
Mexico
Uruguay
El Salvador
Columbia
Peru
Chile
Guatemala
Brazil
Dhofar in Oman
And I also had a number of postings in the UK (including Salisbury Plain!)
I have had a few adventures along the way :-
In GERMANY - In 1966, as a young soldier in Nienburg, I got into a fight and had to go to hospital next day with breathing problems. It turned out that I had been stabbed through my coat 9 times with a stiletto knife. I then promptly fainted and woke up to the military police by my bed wanting to arrest ME for causing trouble.
On another evening, in Celle, in a night club, a gun fight broke out all around me and week later, the barman was shot dead in the street. At this point, I thought, is it me?
DHOFAR in OMAN saw me gather several stories - including landing on the desert airstrip when I served with the SAS. We were in a Hercules loaded with 81mm Mortar Bombs which was actually being mortared itself by the Russian backed enemy. Pretty scary at the time, to say the least!
There was one occasion, whilst acting as Air Despatch, it was decided that, for their safety, the local people needed to be moved down from the Jebel mountain range. Unfortunately, they would not do this without their goats. So, we loaded over 40 goats into the Sky Van plane we were using and took off. However, no-one explained to the goats they were about to fly and so on take-off, the pilot and I were almost overcome by the fumes as each and every goat ‘let go’ of their bowels at the same time!
On another occasion, as co-pilot of the same Sky Van, we attempted to land on the airstrip at the top of the mountain range. The SAS had just taken this area and we ended up coming in, under enemy fire, at a very steep angle. I sweat buckets of pure terror that day and thought I may never see my family again - they didn’t even know where I was!
In my final week in Dhofar, the following happened. In the previous six months, SAS troopers had dumped various types of grenades on me, as their armourer, to be disposed of so I set about planning their disposal before I handed over. Together with the base camp ‘Wallahs’, we went to a nearby beach and had great fun lobbing grenades into the sea. However, the last one didn’t make it to the sea and, even worse, it did not go off. I had to very gingerly walk out to it, pick it up and throw it out to sea again. It still failed to go ‘Bang’ and just bobbed about in the water! Once again, I very carefully collected it from the sea, climbed a nearby cliff-face and dropped it into the deepest water possible. It STILL didn’t go bang but at least it was out of harm’s way. It is probably now on Portland beach with numerous other unexploded items that turn up from time to time!!
Unfortunately, I have seen lives lost in active service – an SAS soldier I was standing alongside in Dhofar, was shot dead and in Cyprus I saw my armourer Lance Corporal killed by our own Mortar Platoon who got their map co-ordinates wrong. These two deaths, along with others, have always stayed with me.
In Kenya, I was almost wiped out myself by this same Mortar Platoon who mistakenly landed 8 high explosive bombs amongst us during an exercise instead of using smoke to create a smokescreen.
One of my, very best, postings was for the Diplomatic close protection unit, travelling out to the embassies in various countries to service the weapons.
I carried stripped down weapons in diplomatic bags to Sudan, took rifles in rifle packing cases to Beirut (not such a good disguise!) and I even had to take out a full stilton to Columbia!
I was almost shot going through the Syrian Army Green line in search of Terry Waite, who you may remember was kidnapped. As our vehicle crossed the line, a Syrian soldier cocked his gun, pointed it at me but then, last minute, obviously changed his mind and fired it up into the sky.
On another occasion I was test firing a 9mm MP5 sub machine gun in a disused quarry when two ricochets came straight back hitting me in the arm and the middle of my forehead causing a lot of bleeding. It gave the local militia plenty to laugh at and at least we knew the gun worked!
Then, on my last foray into Beirut I had to be ‘choppered’ out with smoke inhalation when the team house was bombed.
My nickname of ‘Barry the Cat’ didn’t just apply to my football skills as I firmly believe I also had 9 lives!
The chance to go to Columbia and 9 other countries in South America in as many days, for the Close Protection Unit, was my best visit and an adventure in itself. I have to admit I secretly loved the danger involved in that particular posting.
I had several visits to Northern Ireland in the troubled years and even had a few ‘undercover’ escapades there although undercover turned out not to be my forte. The time I let my 9mm Browning fall out of my shoulder holster in the middle of Belfast city in view of everyone wasn’t my best undercover moment and neither was driving a supposedly ‘undercover’ car which was bright blue and had 5x 30’’ Browning Machine guns lying in the boot. It wasn’t good when I was stopped at a road block and asked to open said bright blue boot ( I lost another of my cat lives that day!)
So for me, army life was grand. I was awarded a few medals over the years, amongst them The British Empire Medal for my service with the Gurkhas, the Meritorious Service Medal whilst serving with the Diplomatic Close Protection Unit and the Dhofar Medal for service with the SAS. I have to stress that there was nothing Heroic about any of this, more a series of ‘Misadventures’ that I was lucky enough to be recognised for. Nevertheless, I have always served, and worn my medals, with pride and honour.
Now for my life on the home front:-
At age 21, I married a marvellous lady called Jill, mother to my 2 children James and Jacqui. Sadly, after 9 years of marriage we went our separate ways – maybe we married too young or maybe the stresses of the army were too much for both of us (I was away for 30 out of 36 months at one point) but I am proud to say that we produced two children who have grown into wonderful and caring adults who I love and can’t speak highly enough of.
I remember seeing Jacqui in hospital, wired up to machines at the age of 4 months when she had a kidney removed and praying that I did not lose her.
Who would ever have guessed she wouId grow into such a strong and healthy young woman, going on to complete a marathon in record time and raising money for Kidney Charities. I am also glad she has found happiness in her teaching career and with her partner, Lisa who we all love too.
James is at the top of his tree, successful in his work, with his home and also his cars.
He has been my rock lately, always being there to email and share my thoughts with. Together with his lovely wife Jo, they have helped both Karen and I tremendously and I am so proud of both of them.
James was kind enough to give me two fabulous grandchildren, Liz and Will, who have not only been delightful children but who have now grown into two caring, kind and yet fun young people who are an inspiration and great examples of how we would all like to see this next generation turn out. Thank you Liz and Will for playing games with your grandad over the years and letting him win sometimes!!
Now for Chris, my step-son, who I have had the pleasure in bringing up, along with Karen, from the age of 5. I have always regarded Chris as my own son too and he has always made me proud with first, his Navy service and then later, when he changed direction completely to qualify as a physiotherapist. The icing on the cake was when he married Laura 3 years ago and brought her into our family too – someone as competitive as me to ‘spar’ with!
I am so happy knowing that all three of my children have wonderful supportive partners as, indeed, I have always had in Karen.
This leads me on to her, the centre of my life and my one true love.
On a glorious summer day in 1988, I met the girl of my dreams, dressed in a red dress that I can never forget. I was living in the Barracks in Chichester and it was the weekend of the RMP march where Royal Military Police from around the world descend on Chichester to March across the Downs. Karen was out with friends and I acted as her ‘knight in shining armour’ when I told a soldier who was obviously bothering her to go away in no uncertain terms. When he asked who I was, I said ‘her father, now clear off’!!
(Over the years, Karen has had great fun saying in front of everyone ‘Dad can I have my pocket money now!!)
That day, followed by a date arranged by our friend, Sally, was the start of a love affair that has lasted over 26 years. We married on 24th June 1989 and have just celebrated our Silver wedding anniversary.
Karen has supported me through thick and thin including during my infamous Grumpy spells. She has travelled with me, worked alongside me and been my friend. When I was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer in 1999, we changed our lifestyle living life to the full by cruising and seeing as much of the world whilst I was well enough.
We bought our Border Terrier, Poppy, against Karen’s wishes at first but now she loves her more than me at times!!
Karen, I want to thank you for allowing me to be part of your life, for loving me and for caring for me. I have loved you since the day we met and I will always love you throughout eternity.
In the past few years, with Karen by my side, I have been proud of many achievements but two of them stand out in my mind the most.
The first of these was fighting the system and the powers that be to get my Gurkha friend, Krishna reinstated in his job after being unfairly dismissed. After 18 tortuous months, we won his case and he received full reimbursement but just recently, another unfair dismissal case was brought against him and I am happy to say I helped him to win that too. A good and loyal employee, he did not deserve harassment and I was only too glad to be able to help him when he had no-one else to turn to. Krishna and Paru and their family are some of the most loyal friends we have ever known. They welcome us into their lives, homes and families and treat us as family too. I first met Krishna when I was his boss in the army years ago and we have stayed friends for many years along with some of my other Gurkha armourers.
My second achievement was in setting up our local cancer support group in 2010 and running it successfully for the past 4 years with the help of Karen, Jane-Ann and many others who have also become firm friends over the years. We are all proud of the awareness we have raised, the support to men and their families we have given and the free PSA testing we have been able to lay on throughout Dorset.
Lastly, I want to mention some of my other friends and family who have supported Karen and I through the hard times, had fun and laughed with us through the good times and who I know will still be there for Karen in the future.
My mother and father in law - Dave and Rene, my brother and sister in law Graeme and Lisa, my work friends- Penny, Babs and Maggie, my good friend and neighbour Jane-Anne, ALL of the friends I have made from my army days and working life at Lulworth, too many to mention, but including: Jimmy and Lisa, Hammer and Dawn, Robbo and Claire, Elaine and Ross, Shaun and Helen to name but a few (if I haven’t mentioned your name you know you mean no less to me, I just can’t remember everyone’s names now!)
My very closest friends have been Shaun, Kev and Brian, Sally (who I will never be able to thank enough for introducing me to Karen) and Kathy who always stays so strong. I also want to mention and thank my friends from the Prostate Cancer Uk website and the madcap members of a group irreverently named Bollocks to PCa run by my mate George from Tyneside. You have kept me sane, well, maybe not, but you have given me a good laugh and a few interesting debates!! Karen and I were so lucky to see and spend time with some of you just a short time ago in Leicester. Last but not least, lots of thanks to Karen’s friends and family who have been wonderful in supporting her through the bad times lately and who I know will always continue to be there for her when I can’t be.
So finally, to my nearest and dearest – James and Jo, Jacqui and Lisa, Chris and Laura, Liz and Will, Dave and Rene, Graeme and Lisa, and my little Poppy and, of course my one and only very ‘Special K’ (Karen) – goodbye and know how much I love and have loved you all.
I have lived the life, miss me a little but do not mourn and remember the motto I always use to sign off my emails ‘ Life is for living’ – carry on and live all of yours to the full Barry x