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Dads small cell cancer

User
Posted 11 September 2017 19:34:26(UTC)

Hi I have read your posts.  I am so sorry to hear about your dad.  My husband was diagnosed with Small Cell of Prostate February 2016 and given 1-2 years to live.  We are now on the countdown.  Doctor ordered hospice at home to start this week.  I am at such a loss since there is very little information for this horrible disease.  I wish i knew what to expect at this point. My sympathies...XOXOXO

User
Posted 11 September 2017 19:52:48(UTC)

Thoughts are with you and your family ,remember the good times .
Best wishes
Debby

User
Posted 11 September 2017 20:09:10(UTC)

So sorry to read your news - you are all in my thoughts in the coming weeks and months, especially your mum.

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard


User
Posted 11 September 2017 20:46:34(UTC)

Dear Paula , so sad for you all and your loss. Sending strength for the weeks ahead. I've read every one of your posts and can just imagine what a lovely , caring , strong devoted person you are. I just know your dad must have loved you so dearly and been so proud of you. Hope you can find that extra inch to be there for mum. It's been so brave of you to share. Please take care of yourself xx




If life gives you lemons , then make lemonade
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User
Posted 11 September 2017 22:16:05(UTC)
Paula

Please accept my sincere condolences. Thinking of you all at this difficult time.

Thanks Chris
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User
Posted 12 September 2017 06:43:23(UTC)

Paula,

I'm so sorry.

David

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User
Posted 12 September 2017 09:28:00(UTC)

So sorry to hear, Paula. I am relieved to hear your mum was with him, and I hope this helps her going forward. Your emotions will probably swing in all directions, but in time I hope your memories become more comfortable.

Take care of you, emotionally you must be exhausted. We carry on, but then it all catches up on us so you need to be gentle with yourself.

Janet, x

User
Posted 12 September 2017 21:41:46(UTC)
So sorry to read of your loss Paula. I have followed your situation for a few years now and know how much you loved your dad, I am sure he knew it too.my thoughts are with you and all your family at this sad time.
Dream like you have forever, live like you only have today
Avatar is northern lights whilst running in Iceland sept 2017
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User
Posted 12 September 2017 22:49:22(UTC)

So sorry to hear of your loss Paula, and of the tough time that you have all been through. As others have said, you will no doubt be overwhelmed by many different emotions over the coming months - and perhaps will feel that you should be dealing with things 'better', or getting over your loss. The best bit of advice I had was just to let it be. Whatever you are feeling or not feeling is ok. Give yourself space and time to grieve.

Take care of yourself.

Hugs

Ruth xxx

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User
Posted 13 September 2017 07:32:29(UTC)

Thank you all.Dad has had so many genuine tributes to him form the rugby club and our family has too it has been touching.All saying what a great man he was and a true gentleman.
I helped Mum choose some lovely clothes for the funeral.
It didn't sink in with me then I saw pictures of when he was a well man and I found that emotional.
Our task is to look after Mum who has lost her best friend of 53 years.
Dad was a keen gardener so we will make the front garden pristine for his final journey as he hasn't been home for 7 weeks.
I hope my 5 year lost posts will inspire someone who is diagnosed with this rare type.Dad had adenocarcinoma to along with the small cell.
I hope I haven't upset anyone with my frank posts either.:(
Love to you all Paula xxxx

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User
Posted 13 September 2017 09:40:37(UTC)
Dear Paula, I am sure your frank posts over the last few years will have helped so many, but I understand your thoughts. And yes, I am sure your posts will inspire. There is a lot more hope, and a lot more known now, about this particular type of cancer than when my husband died from it. Almost eight years ago the timescale was classed as a year at very most.

I hope keeping the garden pristine and looking after your mum gives your life a purpose. This is what can so easily be missing in the confused early stages of grief. But more importantly you need to make sure you and your mum take care of yourselves. You will both be shattered emotionally - take care of you first, it is so important.

I hope in time the photos become comforting. In time I learned to focus on the majority of happy photos, rather than the few of the last weeks. Somehow we get through - our minds seem to only give us as much as we can cope with.

Take care, Janet, x
User
Posted 14 September 2017 16:46:47(UTC)

We have set up.a just giving page for prostate cancer UK.Dad would he loved this as he did a charity event for the cause a couple of years ago.xx Paula

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User
Posted 15 September 2017 03:27:39(UTC)
Paula,

I'm so sad to read of your Dad's passing.

May he rest in peace.

He was so lucky to have such a loving daughter. You couldn't have done any more. I'm sure you brought great comfort to him.

Take care.

Steve
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User
Posted 15 September 2017 13:49:44(UTC)

Thank you Steve you have been so supportive over the years as one of my adopted brothers wrote a passage about how mum and Dad saved him from the care system but this bit struck a chord with me

'How conspicuously absent the book on life and death is I wish I had been able to read him this last chapter were it to hand but we all go into the unknown disarmed I hope though that his families love was a sound enough vessel for his voyage to the other shore.
If the currency were love and wishes for ease the ferryman was well paid indeed"
I love this and hope we can give Dad the best send off with his whole huge family gathered he would be loved to see us together
Take care Paula xx

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User
Posted 17 September 2017 18:49:20(UTC)
Oh Paula
I haven't been on for a while and am deeply saddened to read that your lovely dad has passed away. I know from my own experience of losing my mum and dad that the relief of them being out of pain overwrote my sorrow at losing them. I did have a delayed reaction to grief, I assume because of the initial relief but I would never want them back given the state they were in. I love dreaming about them and always feel that we remain connected that way, I feel the same about my sister who passed away this year, I've had some odd dreams where things that happened in real life have been sort of mentioned in my dreams, it feels like a connection remains with her too.

You have been through a pretty awful time, be kind to yourself and your mum and siblings, and hopefully in time, you will remember only the good days with dad. That's how it has worked out for me, memories of the final days are quite blurred and I see them in my minds eye as strong and healthy and it makes me happy.

Hugs
Devonmaid xxxx
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User
Posted 18 September 2017 09:12:44(UTC)

I'm so sorry to be reading your sad news Paula,

My condolences to you and your family

Viv
X

The only time you should look back is to see how far you have come
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User
Posted 18 September 2017 19:57:10(UTC)
Dear Paula,
I am so sorry to hear that your Dad has died.
I only started following your posts recently but they have really given hope to Tony and I.
Take care
Sue
User
Posted 19 September 2017 19:30:11(UTC)

Thank you all so much especially Devenmaid who has followed Dads story for years.The rugby club are honouring Dad with a minutess silence before Saturdays game.This is a rare thing for them to do.
I feel OK and hope this will remain the case although I'm prepared for some sadness that will hit me.
On a positive note Dad had years longer than prognosis even since 2015 when he was Given a few months:)
Mums doing OK really and I know the funeral is going to be emotional with all the family there.
Dad was loved by all that knew him.A kind considerate man.
I hope his long journey gives hope to others diagnosed with this rare type.xx Paula
I hope we can raise money for prostate cancer UK on mums just giving page too.

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User
Posted 20 September 2017 06:46:22(UTC)

Hi Charneygirl sorry for the late reply and I'm so sorry about your husband.I agree when my Dad was diagnosed there was little information.
In 2015 Dad was passing blood and was told it was in his kidneys.He was given months to live and assigned hospice at home.
He lived 2 1\2 years longer:)
I wish I hadn't wasted time fearing the worst but it is hard when you love someone so much.
Can your husband still enjoy some quality of life?Dad did plenty of things while he was able and watched d TV with mum when he felt exhausted.
I hope you and your husband have years ahead to make more memories love Paula xx

User
Posted 10 October 2017 16:27:21(UTC)

Hello to all you lovely.people.
I hope you don't mind if I share Dads final journey with you.
We had two weeks to prepare.On the day its self my husband son and myself went to my parents home to collect Mum and follow Dad.
When the hearse arrived decked in our flowers.it looked lovely.The sun was shining on the kind of day dad would be taken endless photographs as he was a keen photographer.
The 40 min journey took us up hills and down lanes where autumn leaves rained down on the hearse like golden confetti.At the service my brother and nephew spoke.
Afterwards we had a huge turnout as Dad.was.well loved we went to a lovely pub on the river where I used to work.
We have all been coping well and looking after Mum who has been amazing.
I will post the total amount raised through just giving for Prostate cancer UK.
Much love to you all xx Paula

User
Posted 10 October 2017 16:48:23(UTC)

That's lovely Paula. Take care of yourself.

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard


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User
Posted 10 October 2017 17:07:26(UTC)

Thank you Paula, for sharing dad's last journey with us.

I'm so glad the sun shone for you all, it makes it so much easier to imagine your dad looking down and sending sunshine your way to let you all know he is fine.

XXXXX

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
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User
Posted 10 October 2017 21:50:28(UTC)

XxxxxxxxX
Paula it’s been a privilege to share your journey with you , whilst sad. I think you’ve been amazing and everything a parent could hope for. Look after your mum then start looking after yourself again.
Best wishes here forward ok




If life gives you lemons , then make lemonade
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User
Posted 10 October 2017 23:11:52(UTC)
A wonderful and lovely post Paula thank you for sharing your dads memory and last journey.
BFN
Julie X
NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON
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User
Posted 11 October 2017 14:05:33(UTC)
Paula
I haven't logged into this site for months but for some reason today I just thought I should. Yours was the first thread I looked at. We shared so many ups and downs and chatted so much over the years I felt priviliged but very sad to have shared the journeys we made.

My hearfelt condolences to you and your family. You are a very special daughter.

Your Dad's final journey sounds beautiful, a wonderful life celebrated. I bet the front garden to start that journey did him proud too.

Sending you my warmest wishes for the future

xxx
Mo
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User
Posted 11 October 2017 21:20:22(UTC)

Thank you Mo.I wasn't sure if you left the site.I've been torn between Mum Dad and work the last few months.
Today I've been reflecting on the last month.Everyone's replies on here have meant so much in a situation others don't understand.I can't thank you all enough xx

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