I read your post and wept, my heart really goes out to you. Sometimes we ask questions and when we get answers we wish we had not asked the questions at all. Fiona has posted a lovely heartfelt and truthful reply to you. I agree with everything she has said. There are several of us ladies who actively post on here who have also had the truly awful experience you are going through.
Is this the beginning of the end? a very difficult question for anyone to truly answer other than a qualified medical practitioner.
Your Husband's response to treatments has been very similar to Micks, the anaemia caused by both the disease and the chemo was also a significant issue for him. Every time he had a blood transfusion he would feel so much better, he would eat better, sleep better and that was good enough for us both. That worked right through to the last few weeks.
You have not said how good your Husband's mobility is or if you are getting all the financial help you should be entitled to. Let us know as we can point you in the right direction or give some more guidance on things to look out for.
I also strongly suggest you ask for referal to a palliative care facility. If you have a local hospice ask them if you can call in or if they have a day centre go to that. The hospice is not all about end of life it is about making the most of the life your husband has left. Giving him as much control and choice as possible.
You will almost certainly need support and guidance. your Husband will also be going through all sorts of emotions and mental anguish as well as his physical symptoms and pain. They have people and facilities that can help with everything. Our local hospice were amazing once we finally got to talk with them. Like Fiona it all happened much later than it should have done and I really needed their help and support much earlier. Macmillan also offer similar help and support at home.
When this disease is diagnosed at an advanced stage it has no set path at all, some Men respond well to every treatment they go through, others like my Husband, Fiona's partner Neil and it would seem yours, sadly do not. There is no rhyme or reason, nobody has ever managed to give me anything like an adequate explanation as to why the disease progressed so fast and with no real respite in Mick's case.
I, like others here can offer you as much support as we can, I will always try to answer any questions you have with honesty and compassion. There has to be hope it is what keeps us moving forwards, all the while trying to keep our own fears and enormous sadness hidden from our partners, Husbands, family and friends.
There are men on here who have rallied against all odds, when every treatment seems to have failed the next one by some miracle just keeps them going. So it is really important you take care of yourself too, your strength will be his comfort.
If and when somebody from your Husband's medical team tells you that this is a transition from palliative to end of life care then there will be so many things you can do that will make everything easier for you to manage and face together. Until then make sure you know who to ask for help in doing that.
I send you a very large virtual hug,
my very best wishes