Making the most of it

User

Posted 12 Apr 2019 at 08:13

Thank you DM & Francij, I think you're right about acceptance, we've known for a while that this was the only path and what I so desperately wanted was for it to be a gently sloping one. It feels like in the last week we've managed to do this. N is as comfortable as can be, a syringe driver was put in yesterday with the secretion medication, kind of a signal of the beginning of the end in the hospice.

I'm just on my way back in afer a very sleepless night wondering whether I should stay or not. I'm taking my Jim jams with me today, I don't know whether I'd be more tired staying there or trying to sleep at home but listening for the phone.

User

Posted 12 Apr 2019 at 08:48

Thinking of you Kentish xxx

User

Posted 12 Apr 2019 at 08:51

Kentish, I have no words of wisdom to impart, only to say that you are an inspiration to all of us. Your journey has helped me so much to understand how my wife feels on our own personal journey and for that I am eternally grateful. You may not feel it but you are very good at putting your feelings down for us to understand. I hope it helps you to do that as much as it helps us.

I wish for you and your young family that the rest of this difficult journey is as peaceful as possible. Sorry, but the tears are coming again.

Sending all my love and hugs and hope you have a good day today with N.

Phil

User

Posted 12 Apr 2019 at 13:38

Thinking of you at this time. Hopefully the hospice will be able to keep him comfortable and pain free, Look after yourself.

User

Posted 12 Apr 2019 at 16:37

Thinking of you all Kentish.

Ido4

User

Posted 12 Apr 2019 at 21:22

Thinking of you all and praying that you can get some rest yourselves. I hope the children have someone they can talk to as well if they want to - a really hard time for you all and I am sending prayers.

User

Posted 12 Apr 2019 at 21:36

Saddest story I’ve read in 4 yrs on this forum , especially with you all being so young. I can only wish you love and strength as ever x

If life gives you lemons , then make lemonade

User

Posted 12 Apr 2019 at 23:00

My thoughts are with you all too. Best Wishes. xx

User

Posted 13 Apr 2019 at 12:25

My thoughts are much the same as Chris J's previous post. Thinking of you all. I feel humbled by the courage and dignity you are showing. Take care.

Ann x

User

Posted 13 Apr 2019 at 13:29

We are thinking of you all Kentish.Best wishes Geoff

User

Posted 13 Apr 2019 at 16:02

Popped in today just to let you know that I’m thinking of you. I’m hoping for peace and quiet and handholding and love.

with love

Devonmaid xxxx

User

Posted 15 Apr 2019 at 09:29

My lovely N passed away in the early hours of this morning. I am so sad but so relieved his suffering is over.

I don't really know what to do with myself this morning....

User

Posted 15 Apr 2019 at 09:46

Sending love to all of you

User

Posted 15 Apr 2019 at 09:51

Sad sad news,no more suffering .God bless you and your family.Geoff

User

Posted 15 Apr 2019 at 09:54

Kentish

I am so sorry to hear N has gone please accept my very sincere condolences, may he rest in peace. Remember to look after yourself in the coming days and months. Love and hugs. Thanks Chris

User

Posted 15 Apr 2019 at 09:55

Thinking about you all. You have been incredible throughout this journey and an inspiration to the rest of us. As you say, no more suffering for N now.

Look after each other.

User

Posted 15 Apr 2019 at 10:22

Oh my dear Kentish, such sad news. We know it wasn't unexpected, and we can be glad he is not suffering, but that doesn't stop our hearts breaking, does it. And we know that we have grieved a lot already, but that doesn't stop the tears falling.

You may well feel numb for a while, too. And lost. And we will all say 'look after yourself', which indeed you must try to do. But really, just take it easy, hold those beautiful children close and let yourself remember all the good times. Know too that you did absolutely everything you could to make these last months and years for N as good as they possibly could be. You were his champion, and an outstanding one at that.

Sending love, hugs and understanding. I'm here if you ever need a listening ear.

User

Posted 15 Apr 2019 at 10:42

Kentish

So sorry to read your news. You really did him proud throughout a difficult journey.

RIP N.

John x

User

Posted 15 Apr 2019 at 10:49

So sorry Kentish, you really fought this battle with him to the last.

No man could ask for more..

User

Posted 15 Apr 2019 at 11:15

Oh Kentish, no words :-((

If life gives you lemons , then make lemonade

User

Posted 15 Apr 2019 at 11:30

So sorry Kentish. Love to you and the family.

Ido4

User

Posted 15 Apr 2019 at 11:39

I am so very sorry to read N has passed. I'm thinking of you all and sending love and peace for you all.

RIP N xxx

User

Posted 15 Apr 2019 at 12:31

So sorry to read your sad news.

Thinking of you all.

User

Posted 15 Apr 2019 at 12:43

Oh Kentish I am so very sorry to hear this. You have been a fantastic support to N and could not have done any more than you did. I will be thinking of you and your children in the days and weeks to come. Take care xxx

User

Posted 15 Apr 2019 at 13:13

Such sad news - love and peace to you all

Ulsterman

User

Posted 15 Apr 2019 at 14:04

Kentish, so sorry to hear this news. I hope you can at least feel that you have done all you could possibly have done to make N's time as comfortable as possible.

I know that you will be there for your children as you were for N.

Love to you all,

Phil

User

Posted 15 Apr 2019 at 14:04

So sorry Kentish. Love and hugs to you and the children.

User

Posted 15 Apr 2019 at 14:23

So sorry to hear this news sincere condolences to you and yours.

User

Posted 15 Apr 2019 at 14:42

So very sorry to hear your news. Love to you all. You did indeed "make the most of it" as a family when you were able. A lesson to us all. Take care of yourselves.

Ann x

Edited by member 15 Apr 2019 at 14:51 | Reason: Not specified

User

Posted 15 Apr 2019 at 15:37

So sorry to hear your sad news, my thoughts are with you and your family xxx

User

Posted 15 Apr 2019 at 16:46

So sorry to hear your sad news. Xx

User

Posted 15 Apr 2019 at 17:18

Sincere condolences to you and your family ,I’ve followed your struggles and shear devotion to N .

Make sure you look after yourself .

Debby x

User

Posted 15 Apr 2019 at 17:40

Sending love to you and your family at this time. You have been an inspiration

User

Posted 15 Apr 2019 at 18:54

Dear Kentish

So sorry.

You're an absolute hero the way you battled for N is absolutely heroic.

I hope that in time you and your family just treasure the good memories that you all made together.

I wish I could say or do more.

Condolences and Best Wishes

Bill

User

Posted 15 Apr 2019 at 20:03

So sorry. Thinking of you and your family.

Betty

User

Posted 15 Apr 2019 at 20:28

So sorry to hear this. Any man reading your posts can only hope and wish they will get somewhere near the same support you gave to N.

Thinking of you and your family

Bri xx

User

Posted 15 Apr 2019 at 21:01

Sorry to hear your news. May god grant him peace

User

Posted 15 Apr 2019 at 21:45

You have shown immense courage throughout; wishing you a little bit more of that strength for the coming days, weeks and months Kentish xxx

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User

Posted 15 Apr 2019 at 22:33

My dear Kentish

The news both dreaded and expected, I’m so sorry. I guess I knew it would be quick once the syringe driver was added from past experience but I am so sad nonetheless. No one could have done more than you, you were a real lioness when it came to supporting your man and your lovely children. Like others here, I hope you can take some time to recover in the days, weeks and months ahead, you have been through an incredibly difficult ordeal. I know you wouldn’t have had it any other way but you must be exhausted.

Rest in Peace lovely N, your wife and children are wonderful people who loved you above all others.

My heart goes out to you all, please let us know how you go on, we have come to think of you as our family.

my love

Devonmaid xxxxxx

User

Posted 15 Apr 2019 at 22:34

I am so sorry Kentish. I am so glad you all shared that special time at home before the Hospice. N was a brave man and you could not have done any more to support him.

You will all grieve in your own ways and there are no right or wrong ways to get through it. Be very kind to yourself and something will see you through all the practical things of the next few days. Then you can start to rest and find your way. Grief is complex with a lot of surprising emotions.

You are so young, I feel so sad for your little family. Thinking of you all.

User

Posted 16 Apr 2019 at 07:25

So sorry to read this, my condolences to you. Your support of N has been immense and everyone here knows you could have done no more.

Dream like you have forever, live like you only have today Avatar is me racing in the Sahara April 2018

User

Posted 16 Apr 2019 at 08:36

Sorry for your loss. A terrible disease and your story of yourself and N is the saddest.

Many condolences at this terrible time. Thank you for sharing. Much much more research/ fundraising needed.

User

Posted 16 Apr 2019 at 22:41

Sincere condolences to you and your family. Take care. N is now at peace.

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