so sad to read that they’ve given a timeframe, it could be right but maybe not, its always hard to know what to wish for when someone you love is so ill. i have a very strong memory of my most loved brother in law, throat cancer, one year prognosis, made three months and looking at him and knowing that there was no way he could carry on, it helped me, if not my sister at the time, though yes, it does now with the passage of time, he was 52 years old. That’s one of the many reasons I feel so lucky that we have had more than eight years, despite the challenges along the way. I hope what I’ve said isn’t insensitive, I think we tend to be realists here, with our humour and our empathy and our dogged determination to say it like it is. Please forgive me if I have been insensitve, I hope you know that I’m trying to say that it’s not wrong to want it to end when the time comes, even as painful as that is. crying now at the thought, its very raw for us isn’t it and brutal.
I think you are all immensely brave and an amazingly loving family, your childen are such a credit to you and their chit chat must come as a welcome distraction and a joy. They sound so mature even though what they are going through is the worst thing anyone can imagine.
I hope that N decides to stay put but i think hospices can arrange for short home visits if you both want it and can cope. My friend (Mo, who was a massive contributor here) brought her beloved Mick home for one day, he had SCC so it was quite something to organise.
Teacups, my heart goes out to you, not only do you have a seriously ill husband but you are getting all the blame, it’s so unfair. I hope with the right meds he will see that you are doing your best, what more can any of us do. I know my sister has a lot of unresolved conflict from being shouted at during the last weeks of her husband’s life, it was genuinely awful and has left lots of mental scars. Understanding it is one thing, forgiving is another and easy to do given the situation, but forgetting, no never, that’s much more difficult. It cannot be resolved, only forgiven and left in the past when the time comes, but that has taken a long old time, and will never completely fade. I think that’s where hospice support really can help as she had none until his last few hours on NYE, yet another one our family would like to forget - it always seems to be NYE that bad things happen to us. Hugs.
sorry for the ramble, no alcohol was consumed, just thoughts on a sad subject, close to my mind for obvious reasons. How will I cope, when this comes my way? I hope i can learn from those who have trodden this sad path before.
on a brighter note, John seems to be quite reasonably well at the moment, bloods taken today in prep for oncology on monday, our first results since he started on the Enza. I am truly grateful for each and every day.
Thank you both for updating, my love goes with you both.
Edited by member 13 Mar 2019 at 23:07
| Reason: typos as usual